PAYSON, AZ - According to Dr. Blacken E. Ye, head astronomer at the highest telescope in Arizona Mercury is quite the "iron planet".
Nasa's Messenger probe has spotted what look like crushed clunkers on the surface of the planet. These iron rich...
Eldon, IO - A bizarre report from the police in this small farming town reveals the extent of the economic devastation in America today.
A farmer, one Ron Cockhand, was caught with a chicken that he was torturing. He was force feeding liquid sand...
Washington, DC - President Odama announced today that a new economic stimulus program is to begin Monday. In his prepared statement to the press he stated, "People? Are you tired of carrying dollar bills around only to run out of money? Are you ti...
The true purpose behind the government's "Cash for Clunkers" program has finally been revealed in the latest press release from the Obama Administration. In the program, auto companies paid up to $4500 trade-in for clunkers that had no real value (t...
DETROIT - The auto industry is reporting that by all accounts the governments 'Cash For Clunkers" program has been a great success.
Automobile clunkers from Maine to California have been taken off the street and put in what is being called the big...
WASHINGTON D.C. - President Obama today announced a new program to follow on the heels of the cash for clunkers program. In a small press conference today, lightly attended, he gave the details and motivation.
"The cash for clunkers program ends...
The popular 'Cash for Clunkers' program has produced an unexpected casualty. The Transformer Bumblebee was apparently traded in by his owner Sam Witwicky. The 22 year-old Witwicky used the money to purchase a Toyota Prius. When asked about his dec...
Washington DC - On the heels of its widely successful 'Cash for Clunkers' program the Obama administration has announced a new plan to overhaul the nation's stockpile of old women. 'Gold for Grandmas' will allow family members to trade in their grand...
MAYFIELD, Kentucky - First there was the Federal Government's Cash for Clunkers program. And now comes the latest Federally mandated program from President Obama, the Cash for Cluckers Program.
The president said that he had recently received an e...
Kabul, Afghanistan - Gauging from the success of the "Cash for Clunkers" program stateside, the White House is the hoping to capitalize on the popularity of the scheme by introducing a Bill to the House and Senate that will fund a new program offerin...
Even Americans who have been driving fuel efficient cars all along will be footing the bill in the government's 'cash for clunkers' program, according to every known source.
The government program allows up to $6500 for each gas guzzling vehicle t...
Detroit- In a bold move, Ford Motor Company President and CEO Alan Mulally announced today that the company is closing its doors for good.
"Let's face it," Mulally said, "This company has been producing clunkers for far too long. Everyone is awar...
HOBOKEN, N.J-- The highly anticipated government program "Cash for Clunkers", which offers high value trade-in incentives to owners of less-than-desirable cars and trucks, is in legal hot water this week as officials are forced to respond to a legal...
POCAHONTAS, Arkansas - There are a lot of people who are calling the Federal Government's Cash for Clunkers program an automotive joke.
According to Iowa Senator Triscuit Whispertree, The Car Allowance Rebate System (CARS) is a nation-wide United...
WASHINGTON, D.C., USA "Cash-for-Clits", the "fleet modernization" bill that was designed to replace old, tired hookers with new, fresh ones that need less lube, practice safer sex and are less polluted was expected to give the struggling sex industr...
Washington, DC - The Obama Administration has just announced yet another way to spend millions of our tax dollars on bailouts that will surely invite the most corrupt to take advantage.
One such bailout program, "Cash for Concubines" is aimed at...