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Funny story: Astronomers find clunkers on Mercury

Astronomers find clunkers on Mercury

PAYSON, AZ - According to Dr. Blacken E. Ye, head astronomer at the highest telescope in Arizona Mercury is quite the "iron planet". Nasa's Messenger probe has spotted what look like crushed clunkers on the surface of the planet. These iron rich...
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Funny story: Cash for farmers?

Cash for farmers?

Eldon, IO - A bizarre report from the police in this small farming town reveals the extent of the economic devastation in America today. A farmer, one Ron Cockhand, was caught with a chicken that he was torturing. He was force feeding liquid sand...
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Funny story: Cash for singles program starts Monday

Cash for singles program starts Monday

Washington, DC - President Odama announced today that a new economic stimulus program is to begin Monday. In his prepared statement to the press he stated, "People? Are you tired of carrying dollar bills around only to run out of money? Are you ti...
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Funny story: True Purpose of "Cash for Clunkers" Finally Revealed

True Purpose of "Cash for Clunkers" Finally Revealed

The true purpose behind the government's "Cash for Clunkers" program has finally been revealed in the latest press release from the Obama Administration. In the program, auto companies paid up to $4500 trade-in for clunkers that had no real value (t...
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Funny story: Thousands of U.S. Clunkers Going To Cuba

Thousands of U.S. Clunkers Going To Cuba

DETROIT - The auto industry is reporting that by all accounts the governments 'Cash For Clunkers" program has been a great success. Automobile clunkers from Maine to California have been taken off the street and put in what is being called the big...
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Funny story: Cash for left-overs program starts Tuesday

Cash for left-overs program starts Tuesday

WASHINGTON D.C. - President Obama today announced a new program to follow on the heels of the cash for clunkers program. In a small press conference today, lightly attended, he gave the details and motivation. "The cash for clunkers program ends...
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Funny story: Transformer a Victim of 'Cash for Clunkers'

Transformer a Victim of 'Cash for Clunkers'

The popular 'Cash for Clunkers' program has produced an unexpected casualty. The Transformer Bumblebee was apparently traded in by his owner Sam Witwicky. The 22 year-old Witwicky used the money to purchase a Toyota Prius. When asked about his dec...
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Funny story: Obama Announces Details of 'Gold for Grandmas' Program

Obama Announces Details of 'Gold for Grandmas' Program

Washington DC - On the heels of its widely successful 'Cash for Clunkers' program the Obama administration has announced a new plan to overhaul the nation's stockpile of old women. 'Gold for Grandmas' will allow family members to trade in their grand...
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Funny story: Cash For Cluckers Program Suggested By "Kentucky" Kevin Skinner

Cash For Cluckers Program Suggested By "Kentucky" Kevin Skinner

MAYFIELD, Kentucky - First there was the Federal Government's Cash for Clunkers program. And now comes the latest Federally mandated program from President Obama, the Cash for Cluckers Program. The president said that he had recently received an e...
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Funny story: "Cash for Clunkers" extended to Suicide Car Bombers?

"Cash for Clunkers" extended to Suicide Car Bombers?

Kabul, Afghanistan - Gauging from the success of the "Cash for Clunkers" program stateside, the White House is the hoping to capitalize on the popularity of the scheme by introducing a Bill to the House and Senate that will fund a new program offerin...
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Funny story: Taxpayers Paying for Wealthy People's Cars in 'Cash for Clunkers' Program

Taxpayers Paying for Wealthy People's Cars in 'Cash for Clunkers' Program

Even Americans who have been driving fuel efficient cars all along will be footing the bill in the government's 'cash for clunkers' program, according to every known source. The government program allows up to $6500 for each gas guzzling vehicle t...
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Funny story: Ford Motor Co. Closes Doors in Wake of 'Cash for Clunkers."

Ford Motor Co. Closes Doors in Wake of 'Cash for Clunkers."

Detroit- In a bold move, Ford Motor Company President and CEO Alan Mulally announced today that the company is closing its doors for good. "Let's face it," Mulally said, "This company has been producing clunkers for far too long. Everyone is awar...
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Funny story: Bitter New Jersey Housewife Claims Government Stole "Cash for Clunkers" Idea from Stupid Husband

Bitter New Jersey Housewife Claims Government Stole "Cash for Clunkers" Idea from Stupid Husband

HOBOKEN, N.J-- The highly anticipated government program "Cash for Clunkers", which offers high value trade-in incentives to owners of less-than-desirable cars and trucks, is in legal hot water this week as officials are forced to respond to a legal...
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Funny story: The Cash For Clunkers Program Lays An Egg

The Cash For Clunkers Program Lays An Egg

POCAHONTAS, Arkansas - There are a lot of people who are calling the Federal Government's Cash for Clunkers program an automotive joke. According to Iowa Senator Triscuit Whispertree, The Car Allowance Rebate System (CARS) is a nation-wide United...
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Funny story: Government Cash for Clits Program Abandoned Amidst Amoral Allegations

Government Cash for Clits Program Abandoned Amidst Amoral Allegations

WASHINGTON, D.C., USA "Cash-for-Clits", the "fleet modernization" bill that was designed to replace old, tired hookers with new, fresh ones that need less lube, practice safer sex and are less polluted was expected to give the struggling sex industr...
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Funny story: Cash for Concubines

Cash for Concubines

Washington, DC - The Obama Administration has just announced yet another way to spend millions of our tax dollars on bailouts that will surely invite the most corrupt to take advantage. One such bailout program, "Cash for Concubines" is aimed at...
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Obama to deploy 3,000 doctors to combat ISIL

The United States announced on Tuesday it will send 3,000 doctors to help combat the Islamic terrorist group, ISIL, as part of a ramped-up plan, including a major deployment in Syria.

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