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Funny satire stories about Carol Vorderman

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Sparks and Mensa to team up

Funny story: Sparks and Mensa to team up

After reading several pieces on 'The Spoof' where Sparks and Mensa is used to denote middle England's favorite store Ron and Russell Mael better known as the band Sparks and to team up with High IQ club Mensa to promote learning. "Both Ron and I...

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Osama Bin Laden's Letters To Carol Vorderman And Other Celebrities Made Public

Funny story: Osama Bin Laden's Letters To Carol Vorderman And Other Celebrities Made Public

Following the release to the public of the contents of documents written by Osama Bin Laden recently, from a stash of stored documentation confiscated in the May 2nd 2011 raid on his Abbotabad compound, during which he was killed, a second round of documents have been drip fed to the press. The first set of documents - mainly political - were predictably urging dissidents to target President Ob...

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Carol Vorderman Reveals The Truth About Why Piers Morgan Reduced Her To Tears In TV Show

Funny story: Carol Vorderman Reveals The Truth About Why Piers Morgan Reduced Her To Tears In TV Show

Former Countdown maths whizz, and student 'older lady' wank fantasy, Carol Vorderman - arse of the year winner on several occasions, and oft regarded as 'Thinking Man's Crumpet' - today revealed the real reason about why she was reduced to tears on P...

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Britain's Top Tosser Breaks Wrist

Funny story: Britain's Top Tosser Breaks Wrist

In a stunning volte face regarding stories containing smutty innuendo and double entendres, top satirical website thespoof.com today ran a story about Britain's Biggest Wanker breaking his wrist in an unfortunate onanistic accident, as he was lobbing...

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Carol Vorderman 'Outed' As True Inventor Of Rubik's Cube

Funny story: Carol Vorderman 'Outed' As True Inventor Of Rubik's Cube

One of the best kept secrets of the twentieth century has finally been laid bare - as it transpires that the true inventor of the Rubik's Cube, was not, in fact, Hungarian mathematician, Emo Rubik, but none other than our very own 'loose woman', Caro...

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Transfer Window: Arsene Wenger swoops in for Carrol as tactical signing

Funny story: Transfer Window: Arsene Wenger swoops in for Carrol as tactical signing

Arsene Wenger has long opposed the transfer window and refused to sign players in the January, but has gone back on the statement after a recent mathematical blunder in the home defeat to Manchester United and swooped in for former Countdown brainbo...

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Negative Numbers Hold Kids Back, by sharing positive things into negative parts

The Department of Education has released a consultation green paper asking educationalists and teachers to consider the possibility chopping negative numbers from the national maths syllabus. Despite years of negatives emerging through simple "take a...

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Heartbroken Ashton Kutcher Spotted In McDonald's In Dorking Being Consoled By Carol Vorderman

Funny story: Heartbroken Ashton Kutcher Spotted In McDonald's In Dorking Being Consoled By Carol Vorderman

Although breakdowns in relationships ought never to be taken lightly, there is some degree of jollity to be weaned from the experience of US TV star, Ashton Kutcher, who, according to sources 'will never learn.' Having wooed and won the target of...

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"Carol Vorderman's" Consolidated Loans and Leg Brokerage

Funny story: "Carol Vorderman's" Consolidated Loans and Leg Brokerage

Do you have debts? Do you struggle to repay what you owe? Do you worry about your health and that of your family? If so, you are not alone. Thousands of people are in the same boat. It seems like everyone is after your money doesn't it? And there is never enough to go round. Well some people have discovered a way to get help. "Carol Vordeman's" Consolidated Loans and Leg Brokerage of...

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'Carol Vorderman - Fit As A Butcher's Dog At Fifty!' Reports The Daily Mail

Funny story: 'Carol Vorderman - Fit As A Butcher's Dog At Fifty!' Reports The Daily Mail

Upmarket British tabloid, The Daily Mail, has recently reported that former Countdown maths whizz, Carol Vorderman, is still as fit as a butcher's dog at fifty, and ran a series of pictures on its website to prove it. Unfortunately, none of them f...

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Countdown's Rachel Riley Crowned The New 'Thinking Man's Crumpet'

Funny story: Countdown's Rachel Riley Crowned The New 'Thinking Man's Crumpet'

Countdown maths wizard, Oxford graduate, Rachel Riley, 25 who replaced the iconic 'Rear Of The Year' Carol Vorderman on the words and numbers show, has been crowned the new 'Thinking Man's Crumpet.' Rachel has been wowing the tea time crowds with...

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Pippa Counted Out

Funny story: Pippa Counted Out

Pippa Middleton's bum has been overcome by former Countdown star Carol Vorderman's rear in the annual Backside of the Year competition. Carol said her posterior was mathematically superior to Pippa's, but the public acclaim for Pippa (voted ass of...

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Bum Wars Break Out As Carol Vorderman Pips Pippa Middleton In Rear Of The Year Awards

Funny story: Bum Wars Break Out As Carol Vorderman Pips Pippa Middleton In Rear Of The Year Awards

Bottom fanciers across the length and breadth of Britain were up in arms, and waging internet fora flame wars, as rival factions posted comments relating to the award of the 'Rear Of The Year' title to former Countdown mathematrice, Carol Vorderman,...

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Carol Vorderman Still Good With Figures

Funny story: Carol Vorderman Still Good With Figures

She made her name on Channel 4's Countdown game show as the girl with a brain like a pocket calculator, as she almost invariably solved countless numbers game problems which left the majority scratching their heads in awe. Carol has since left the...

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Kate Moss "Tell All" Reveals What Triggered her Anorexia

Funny story: Kate Moss "Tell All" Reveals What Triggered her Anorexia

Supermodel, Kate Moss, IQ 45, has revealed in an in-depth interview with Shallow Magazine how she got and overcame her anorexia, believing it will help others who are in the situation she was in (but isn't in any more, in case her lawyers are reading...

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"England Will Win World Cup" Claims Carol Vorderman

Funny story: "England Will Win World Cup" Claims Carol Vorderman

Maths genius Carol Vorderman has unveiled a mathematical formula that proves that England will win the next world cup. Vorderman studied form and past tournaments in a bid to uncover the winner. "If you take all the facts into account the answer i...

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Carol and the Collider

The story regarding Carol Vorderman's resignation from the long-running Channel 4 show, Countdown, took an amazing twist yesterday. Sexy Carol, the first female ever to appear fully clothed on Channel 4, had intimated that the reason for her depar...

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Much Wringing Of Hands And Many Tears As Carol Vorderman And Countdown Part Company

Funny story: Much Wringing Of Hands And Many Tears As Carol Vorderman And Countdown Part Company

'It's the end of an era,' bemoaned a Geordie today as Carol Vorderman made her final appearance on words and numbers TV gameshow, Countdown. 'She's been treated so shabbily by C4, I'm sorry, It's so emotional.' In scenes reminiscent of the Wailing...

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Breaking news…

Trump Jr. Says That He Always Wanted to Be Separated From His Parents

That's why he can't understand the consternation at the border with kids being taken from parents.
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