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Funny satire stories about Carl Crawford

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A World Series to Savor: Red Sox Against Dodgers?

Unlike the Los Angeles Dodgers, another former last place team with a payroll to choke a horse, the Red Sox wore T-shirts that said, "We Own the East" and celebrated their first-place finish with a typical spray of shaken champagne. Blowing the co...

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Carl Crawford Offers $140million for His Thoughts, Not a Penny More

We've got Carl Crawford where we want him. Crawford has something stuck in his craw, and it's the Boston media. In his weekly dump on Boston, this time he complained vociferously about the media. Grousing season has begun, and it is open season...

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Carl Crawford Has Lost His Nerve

When the Los Angeles Dodgers bought the Brooklyn Bridge from the Boston Red Sox, some in Boston whooped with glee. In Showtime land where Cinderella stories and bad movies meet frequently, Carl Crawford may be the worst of both. The man signed...

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Root Causes of Red Sox Star Carl Crawford's Bad Luck

Carl Crawford has been playing with a bad elbow. He may need surgery that will jeopardize at least part of next season, making three lost seasons of his seven-year contract. Carl must have broken a mirror the day he signed the Red Sox contract.

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Rebirth and Reclamation for Carl Crawford

Not to be confused with a resurrection of Carl Crawford, back from the dead, the Red Sox outfielder now bats second and steals bases again. It seems to be a miracle of Biblical proportions. Crawford's journey may not yet be finished, but suddenly...

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'The Scream' Costs Almost as Much as Carl Crawford for Red Sox

The syllogism goes something like this: you cannot put a price on great art. Munch's 'Scream' is great art. Carl Crawford has caused many to scream. If you feel like the price of great art is on the downswing, you need only consider what the aucti...

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Carl Crawford To Star in Walking Dead, Red Sox Style

Word out of Florida is that Red Sox outfielder Carl Crawford cannot throw a baseball because his elbow hurts. It may be that he suffers from zombie arm. This is on top of a wrist that was recently repaired surgically because he could not swing a b...

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Slicing the Red Sox Baloney

Carl Crawford has taken a page out of the Josh Beckett medical encyclopedia. The latest issue is Carl Crawford's newly discovered sore elbow. This is totally unrelated to his thumb or his sore wrist that was surgically repaired. The Sox injurie...

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Boston Red Sox: Saps Run the Team Again This Season

If the Red Sox were buying a car in 1955, they'd be first in line to sign up for an Edsel with all the bells and whistles-damn the cost! We learned this week that the Red Sox bought a pig in a poke-or namely Carl Crawford from the Tampa Ba...

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Name Calling Trump

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