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Funny satire stories about Cannibalism

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Funny story: Germany Will Be Sending The Cannibal Cop To Lower Zamgola, Africa

Germany Will Be Sending The Cannibal Cop To Lower Zamgola, Africa

DRESDEN, Germany - Local authorities in the German town of Dresden are reporting that there is so much hatred and animosity towards 55-Year-Old German cannibal police officer Detley G. that they are having to take him out of the city. An official...
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Funny story: Cannibal Cop From Germany Blames Horse Meat Lasagna

Cannibal Cop From Germany Blames Horse Meat Lasagna

DRESDEN, Germany - A cannibal cop arrested for the killing of a man he met online is blaming his crime on the fact that he ate horse meat lasagna purchased and eaten last year and claims it gave him mad cow disease. A representative from Findus,...
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Funny story: Embattled Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Receives A Fantastic Offer From Africa

Embattled Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Receives A Fantastic Offer From Africa

NEW YORK CITY - The Right Coast Revue is reporting that crack-smoking, alcohol drinking Toronto Mayor Rob Ford has just received a wonderfully heartwarming letter from Lower Zamgola. The RCR states that a spokesperson for the tiny African country...
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Funny story: I-95 Traffic Snarl Up Leads To Cannibalism

I-95 Traffic Snarl Up Leads To Cannibalism

Two college buddies headed to Florida from their home in Richmond have been arrested and charged with murder after eating the third member of their group after being held up in traffic on the I-95. Brian James and Steven Brookes, both 21 year-old...
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Funny story: Survey reveals cannibals prefer to eat Brits

Survey reveals cannibals prefer to eat Brits

The world's first ever survey of the eating preferences of cannibals has revealed that British people are the nationality of choice to have for dinner. Nutritionist Wattle Ayeet said that it was obvious that most Britons would make a delicious mea...
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Funny story: Now horse meat found in cannibal meals

Now horse meat found in cannibal meals

Supermarket giant Tesdabury's has become the latest store caught up in the horse meat scandal after allegations that horse meat has been found in its "Cannibal Range" of ready meals. A clearly shaken company spokesperson Sue Perior admitted "This...
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Funny story: Plot To Eat Rosemary Shrager In Jungle Foiled By Phillip Schofield

Plot To Eat Rosemary Shrager In Jungle Foiled By Phillip Schofield

A sinister plot by fellow contestants to eat Rosemary Shrager in the I'm A Celebrity jungle studio was foiled at the last minute last night by television personality Phillip Schofield. Viewers and Ms Shrager were left unaware of the menacing plot...
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Funny story: Cannibal Cop's Arrest Prompts Bloomberg To Limit Human Flesh Portions

Cannibal Cop's Arrest Prompts Bloomberg To Limit Human Flesh Portions

New York - Mayor Michael Bloomberg made the Big Apple less appetizing to the city's cannibal community today, introducing a new Health Department regulation that limits flesh eating to "one pound per person per day." The restriction came on the he...
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Funny story: Nibbles - A short gruesome play on cannibalism

Nibbles - A short gruesome play on cannibalism

Act One Mitchum Mr. Thwaite? Mr. Thwaite? Thwaite Yeah…What is it? Mitchum You OK, Mr. Thwaite? Thwaite I ain't bloody dead yet, mate. Mitchum I wasn't suggesting that… Thwaite Oh, I'm sure you weren't, mate. However, your verbal demeanor had a bit of anticipatory delight there. Mitchum How's that, Mr. Thwaite? Thwaite You were hoping that I cashed in and you co...
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Funny story: Brain Eating Virus Identified - Could Be Responsible For Cannibal/Zombie Attacks

Brain Eating Virus Identified - Could Be Responsible For Cannibal/Zombie Attacks

The Center for Diseased Conditions in Atlanta Ga. announced early Thursday that a mutant strain of the dreaded KMA2 nerve virus - which renders individuals incapable of coherent thought, and likely to react violently to things like flies and grey shi...
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Funny story: US Animal Rights Organizations Membership in Decline

US Animal Rights Organizations Membership in Decline

Washington DC: The US Department of Labor announced that the number of animal rights activists residing in the 48 contiguous states has steadily declined by 50% between 2009 and 2012. The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) launched a probe int...
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Funny story: Long Pork Begins Appearing At Fast Food Joints

Long Pork Begins Appearing At Fast Food Joints

Philadelphia, PA-- There's something new on the menu at fast-food places around the city this summer. It's called long pork and it's being served just like hamburgers. Long pork is another name for human meat. Fast-food joints got the idea for lo...
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Funny story: German Masterchef pulled off the air after cannibalism rumours

German Masterchef pulled off the air after cannibalism rumours

The German version of Masterchef, Meisterkoch has been taken off the air when it was revealed that the contestant calling himself Hans Waschen was the suspected cannibal Luka Magnotta. "We were initially okay with Magnotta's first round dish," sai...
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Funny story: Cannibals Request To Be Called 'Food Challenged Americans'

Cannibals Request To Be Called 'Food Challenged Americans'

Miami, FL-- Recent stories in the news have shed light on one of America's smallest minorities--the cannibal. This new minority is now coming out of the closet and claiming their rights like any other citizen. 21st Century cannibals want to be know...
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Funny story: Cannibals outraged at media's coverage of zombie attack

Cannibals outraged at media's coverage of zombie attack

MIAMI, Fl. - Cannibals from all over the United States and the world have registered their complaints that the media coverage following an attack in Miami is unfairly depicting cannibalism as an act committed on a living person. A cannibal is defi...
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Funny story: Greyhound Bus Cannibal to get Hospital Furloughs after Agreeing to eat only Vegans

Greyhound Bus Cannibal to get Hospital Furloughs after Agreeing to eat only Vegans

They Grey Hound bus guy who stabbed another guy to death and ate part of him while requesting take home boxes for the parts that he did not eat, has now been granted furloughs from Canada's Asylum for Future US Members of Congress which is more commo...
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Funny story: Swedish cannibal and vampire to marry in; bloody hell!

Swedish cannibal and vampire to marry in; bloody hell!

A self-confessed cannibal and his vampire mistress have asked their psychiatric institute in Sweden if they can get married and live the rest of their bloody lives together (promises to be pretty short lives!). The cannibal, enjoyed chewing the fl...
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Funny story: Acton Cannibal ate neighbour's brain

Acton Cannibal ate neighbour's brain

Acton man Terry Scrote has turned himself in to the police and confessed to eating his neighbour's brain. "I was Hank Marvin after getting legless in the Bush with Stan Snide so i necked the contents of Arthur Saveloy's skull" claimed the part ti...
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