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Funny satire stories about Cancer research

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Race For The Moonshot

Funny story: Race For The Moonshot

Over the past several decades there has been an exponential increase in the number of cancer cases. As a result cancer research has been the top priority for the medical science field replacing the incumbent priority diseases AIDS and HIV. People all...

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No Longer Bringing Home The Bacon

Funny story: No Longer Bringing Home The Bacon

Processed meat causes cancer! We were so shocked when we read (skimmed it and looked for pictures) the report, through a haze of Shisha smoke, we were outraged. We quickly like two cigarettes each to calm our nerves and called up the most sciency sci...

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Cure For Cancer Discovered: "Amazingly simple" Says Researcher

Funny story: Cure For Cancer Discovered: "Amazingly simple" Says Researcher

Orono, Maine - Medical researchers at the University of Maine have discovered the long-sought cure for cancer. According to lead researcher Dr. Emma Kingston, the cure was so amazingly simple, they don't understand how someone didn't find it before...

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Savile 'a kind of cancer'

Funny story: Savile 'a kind of cancer'

Researchers working at the University of North London have concluded that former TV presenter Jimmy Savile shared many characteristics with the cell structures found in malignant tumours. Dr Not-the-second-nurse, a specialist in aggressive cancers...

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Being Alive Can Raise The Risk of Cancer

Being alive can raise the risk of developing cancer, a German led research project announced today. A study of over 6 billion people worldwide carried out over the last 20 years, and costing $8bn found that being alive dramatically increases the...

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Coffee the New Fountain of Youth

Funny story: Coffee the New Fountain of Youth

Following an extensive study about the health benefits of drinking coffee, initial results show that regular consumption will dramatically reduce risk for prostate cancer, some heart related illnesses and will improve general stamina at work, around...

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Music of Steel Panther Believed to Have Link to Cure for Cancer and ED

Funny story: Music of Steel Panther Believed to Have Link to Cure for Cancer and ED

Researchers at the Pettrucci Center for Musical Research have released preliminary results of a study between the music of Heavy Metal Icons Steel Panther, and the spread and onset of remission of many forms of cancer. "We had reason to believe t...

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Jade Goody Responsible for Massive Fall in Profits

A leading cancer research charity has blamed its dramatic fall in revenue on Big Brother racist Jade Goody. Goody, 27, was diagnosed with cancer just over a month ago whilst appearing on India's Big Brother programme. Since the airing of Miss Goo...

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Not having cancer leads to cancer, say experts

Funny story: Not having cancer leads to cancer, say experts

Scientists have identified one guaranteed precursor to cancer - not having cancer. "We examined 10,000 adults with cancer and found one overwhelming similarity within almost all of them - they used to be cancer free," explained Dr Thomas Statistif...

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Homeless Less Likely to Get Cancer

Washington, D.C. -- According to researchers at the Cancer Research Center in Washington, D.C., the homeless are much less likely to get cancer than those with a roof over their head. Scientists and doctors alike at the Center claim that their evi...

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Paris Hilton Discovers Cure for Cancer at Home, in Her Spare Time

Funny story: Paris Hilton Discovers Cure for Cancer at Home, in Her Spare Time

Geneva - Today Paris Hilton shocked the World Federation of Cancer Researchers by presenting her own research and cure to some of the most complex cancers known to man. Using radioactive isotopes to breed a special fly she discovered in a dive in Tia...

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Breaking news…

Man Cures Cancer While Sitting In ER Waiting Room

After arriving at the hospital for a health complication a gentleman had to wait to be seen. 8 years later he's still there, but found the cure for cancer in the meantime. That was 6 years ago...
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