WELLINGTON, New Zealand (ABSNN) - A court in this New Zealand city ruled today that "this country is a Horseshit Free Zone." The ruling came on the heels of the arrest of an anti-monarchist, Sam Bracanov, a seventy-six year old man who made it c...
NEW YORK CITY (ABSNN) - Donald Trump places "all the blame for the fuss about the topless photos of Kate Middleton squarely on Kate herself."
"There should be a law," says Trump, "that no British Royal be allowed to get nekkid, ever, even when bat...
Prince Charles and his wife Camilla will not be buying new clothes to take with them on their Diamond Jubilee touring holiday to Australia, New Zealand and Papua New Guinea this November. Instead they will be taking with them some of the clothes the...
Not to be outdone in the media frenzy surrounding the recent exposure of the Duchess of Cambridge's modest breasts, the Irish tabloid, The Sunday Gobshite, has printed rather unflattering photos of another senior member of the British Royal Family.
Cornwall - A gelatinous Cabo-adjunto - ['Attached corporal'] has been found washed up in the Duchess of Cornwall nether regions according to marine pest control reports.
Described by Portuguese military sources as a varmint 'with a gas-filled blad...
London - Cringe-making stories about royal humbug are being lapped up by red tops deprived of phone-hacked stuff.
And most of the rubbish is coming from Camilla, doyenne of Palace bollocks and other unsavory crap.
At an editorial meeting of QM-...
Gloucestershire - She's been busy incubating some genetically modified parasitic mites suspected of zombifying most of the United Kingdom into Diamond Jubilee stupor last week.
Carried on infected worker drones' probosces the bugs emit a lethal pa...
Do you remember that as part of the Silver Jubilee the Royals took part in what was then the top TV program It's a Knockout it was called It's a Royal Knockout?
Well I can exclusively reveal that a similar TV program to be adopted by the Royals fo...
Cornwall - Local scrimshaw foragers said today a decapitated horse's head on a Cornwall beach had three Prince of Wales albatross feathers stuck in its snout.
It was found washed up on Pentegwam Bay just weeks after a mutilated pregnant mare's co...
Windsor - "Apparently it was looking for peanuts," Sir Pomfret Wetlocks, chief arsewiper to the Prince of Wales, tweeted this morning, "secreted in Camilla's favorite hideyhole."
The furry little critter was then seen scurrying between the pews be...
London - The House of Windsor's top bigamist has been honored for keeping her gob shut these last seven years with a spurious gong whose Order was mothballed back in 1971.
Camilla Fucker-Proles is to become the Hellfire Club's Dame Grand Double-Cr...
Gloucestershire - A lavish, but highly illegal, underground palace at Charles' Highgrove home has been discovered by builders working for the London Abasement (sic) Company in charge of excavations.
Early reports suggest a whopping great big hando...
London - Pollo impagliato 'Schettino' - (Francesco) Schettino-style stuffed chicken - has been named the Duchess of Cornwall's Diamond Jubilee dish in a competition to feed her mother-in-law.
Camilla launched the cookery compy at the Nova Herod (!...
Cornwall - Notorious satanic members of the UK's premier demonic closed shop are being investigated about the wanton mutilation of a Freisian two year-old called Erik.
The stallion was found in dead in a Stithians field in what police suspect may...
Tripoli - Libyan Transitional Council authorities have said the tyrant's cremated remains are to be shipped to his first lawfully wedded wife in the UK this week.
The son of Queen Elizabeth and Rudolf Hess was wedded to Camilla in a 1967 Hellfire...
London, England-- Scotland Yard is reporting tonight the discovery of 'thousands' of rotting corpses, scattered throughout Buckingham Palace. The horrific discovery comes after a skeleton was discovered only 100 yards from the palace back in March.
London - Their 1969 nuptials in a HMP Broadmoor converted composting lav has cost the nation more than the entire Royal Protection Racket budget since the Silver Jubilee.
This weekend spooks are said to be doing their nut amid reports someone's ab...
London - Wacky self-publicists Charles and Camilla are having a field day gawping at the burnt out remains of the London riots.
Cops kept a beady eye as the pair arrived at Tottenham Leisure Centre amid fears they might loot some of the public don...