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Funny story: New Mental Disorder: "California Drought Syndrome"

New Mental Disorder: "California Drought Syndrome"

American Psychoanalysis Online Spring, 2015 by Giacomo Puccini, Contributing Editor Last week, for the first time in the state's history, Golden State's Gov. Jerry Brown imposed mandatory water restrictions, requiring all cities and towns to cut their water usage by 25 percent. The action was taken because California's reservoirs have about a year's worth of water left. Too, Groundwate...
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Funny story: Californians Sick Of Producing Nation's Almonds

Californians Sick Of Producing Nation's Almonds

Los Alamos, New Mexico - Known as the desert home of the nuclear bomb, Los Alamos, New Mexico has become a kind of refuge for Californians sick of working in the Almond industry. "It's not an industry," said a self-descirbed "almond refugee" who a...
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Funny story: California Governor Signs 'Gay Freedom' Clarification Bill

California Governor Signs 'Gay Freedom' Clarification Bill

SACRAMENTO, CA - California Governor Jerry Brown today signed a bill clarifying his state's controversial "gay freedom" laws, which critics said gave business owners a legal defense to discriminate against heterosexuals. A "fix" to California's la...
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Funny story: Dangerous Animals And Situations In The Grand Canyon And How To Deal With Them

Dangerous Animals And Situations In The Grand Canyon And How To Deal With Them

What to do in the Grand Canyon if: you are confronted by a black bear- Calmly stand your ground and fight back. Do not run as they will chase you. a rock slide occurs above you- Quickly try to determine where the rock slide is coming down and run horizontally in the opposite direction. you are walking along the street and a car with California rental license plates is coming towards you...
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Funny story: California Gay Advocacy Group Proposes Ballot Initiative to Allow Killing of Straights

California Gay Advocacy Group Proposes Ballot Initiative to Allow Killing of Straights

SACRAMENTO, CA - In response to a measure to allow killing of gays in California, Nigel Reynolds, attorney for the California gay rights group, "Gay Advocacy Group" (GAG), has filed a petition with the California Attorney General, Kamala Harris, to a...
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Funny story: California Drought Expected To Worsen

California Drought Expected To Worsen

Look at California's Sierra Nevada mountain range from October through June, and you'll typically see quite a bit of white stuff adorning its peaks. "And that's not dandruff or semen," said, Henry Masterson, a Geologist at Cal State Shasta. "It's...
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Funny story: California weasels outbreak linked to the Philippines

California weasels outbreak linked to the Philippines

Los Angeles - Thousands of people have been left sickened following an outbreak of weasels at a Disneyland resort. Doctors treating the ugly pandemic say a virus strain from the Philippines is a damn good scapegoat considering the dearth of other...
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Funny story: Beauty pageant contestant "in it to win it"

Beauty pageant contestant "in it to win it"

In an ill-advised attempt to win the Ms. Californicate Beauty Contest, Chanelle Bigguns whipped off her bikini top, flashing the judges with not one, but (count 'em!) both, of her beautiful, bouncing boobs. She claimed that her tactic was "a wardr...
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Funny story: Oakland Raiderettes worth more than their weight in gold

Oakland Raiderettes worth more than their weight in gold

LAND o' OAKS, CA - Known for their sleazy uniforms, the Oakland Raiderettes, who claim to be cheerleaders, have something to cheer about: they were awarded $125 million dollars in a lawsuit, agreeing to "settle" for representing the Raiders rathe...
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Funny story: 'Water Cops' to Catch Wasters in California on New Reality Show

'Water Cops' to Catch Wasters in California on New Reality Show

Santa Cruz, CA - "Bad Buoys, Bad Buoys, whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when they come for you?" You might recognize the theme song for the newest reality show to debut from California amidst their worst drought in years and ongoing, severe water...
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Funny story: Santa Barbara Killer's Motive Baffles Eggheads, Know-It-All Professors

Santa Barbara Killer's Motive Baffles Eggheads, Know-It-All Professors

Santa Barbara, CA - As the country tries to make sense of the recent tragedy in California, the nation's elite are always quick to point out the answers to those of us who aren't nearly as smart as they are. Elliott Rodger killed six people la...
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Funny story: Noing How To Spel "Gradjewayshun" Not No Longur Rekwiremint To Gradjewat From High Skool

Noing How To Spel "Gradjewayshun" Not No Longur Rekwiremint To Gradjewat From High Skool

Sacrimento, CA - With noo roolzs from the Calafornyuh state Bord of Educashun, noing how to spell "gradjewashun" isn't no longer a rekwiremunt to be able to grajewate from high scool. You dont haff to no how to spel no for syllbul wordz to gradjewate...
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Funny story: California Considers Move to Ban 'Blonde Sluts' After Man Goes on Rampage Because He Never Got Any

California Considers Move to Ban 'Blonde Sluts' After Man Goes on Rampage Because He Never Got Any

Isla Vista, CA - A delusional, 22 year-old man went on a premeditated killing spree Friday night in an attempt to get "retribution", as he stated it, for the slight he felt humanity had given him. His hatred focused on one creature in particular:...
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Funny story: Al-Qaeda Says That If Sarah Palin Thinks They Can Actually Cause Earthquakes Then She's Fruitier Than A Corsicana Fruit Cake

Al-Qaeda Says That If Sarah Palin Thinks They Can Actually Cause Earthquakes Then She's Fruitier Than A Corsicana Fruit Cake

WASILLA, Alaska - Sarah Palin recently told Political Salad Bar Magazine that she really and truly believes that the earthquakes that have been devastating California are being caused by Al-Qaeda operatives living in the USA. A spokesperson for th...
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Funny story: Sarah Palin Says She Believes That The California Earthquakes Are Being Caused By Al-Qaeda

Sarah Palin Says She Believes That The California Earthquakes Are Being Caused By Al-Qaeda

WASILLA, Alaska - Political Salad Bar Magazine is reporting that the former governor of Alaska and failed 2008 GOP vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin has commented on the California earthquake situation. Palin, who is 50, told PSBM's Savannah...
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Funny story: California To Hire 2,000 Earthquake Damage Inspectors

California To Hire 2,000 Earthquake Damage Inspectors

SACRAMENTO - Word filtering out of Governor Jerry Brown's office is that thousands of California citizens are greatly concerned with the hundreds of earthquakes that have been plaguing the Golden State lately. The governor has been advised by seni...
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Funny story: California Hires An Earthquake Preventer

California Hires An Earthquake Preventer

SACRAMENTO - The state of California acting on the concerns of thousands of its citizens has decided to take a step towards earthquake prevention. The Golden State has hired one of the world's leading earthquake preventers Hyderpindi Peshgooli, 57...
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Funny story: Pope Francis Says That The Hundreds of California Earthquakes Are A Warning To Get The Hell Out Of Dodge

Pope Francis Says That The Hundreds of California Earthquakes Are A Warning To Get The Hell Out Of Dodge

VATICAN CITY, Italy - Pope Francis met with Italian President Pasquale Pasta in the Bingo Convention Center at the Vatican. The two talked about wine, women, work, and the recent Fettuccine Alfredo Scandal that has rocked Italy to its very core.
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Imperial Palace Announces New Prestigious Appointment

Barack I has named Justice John Roberts as Lord Chancellor of Obamacare with specific authority to condemn all those AntiO'Carelamic terrorists to be waterboarded in perpetuity at Guantanamo Bay Keep.
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