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Funny story: Australian Census to be linked to NSA and CIA databases for real time citizen positional acquisition

Australian Census to be linked to NSA and CIA databases for real time citizen positional acquisition

Security Agencies in the 5 eyes global surveillance organisation were this morning said to be rejoicing at entering a new era of public surveillance efficiency. "Now that we can use peoples names from the census for index linking to all our othe...
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Funny story: After Hillary's Emails, Hunt For Who Outed CIA Agent

After Hillary's Emails, Hunt For Who Outed CIA Agent

After the investigation into Hillary Clinton's emails has been exhausted, the same investigative team will turn their attention to who in government, (during the Bush administration) gave the green light to make public the name of CIA undercover agen...
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Funny story: Secret Legislative Action Regarding Firecracker Purchases

Secret Legislative Action Regarding Firecracker Purchases

The American government has just taken another step in the fight to identify homegrown terrorists. In the wake of such events as the Charleston Shootings, the lawmakers on Capitol Hill have taken another step to fighting this growing epidemic. In...
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Funny story: Calais bans truckers from smuggling immigrants!

Calais bans truckers from smuggling immigrants!

The port authorities at Calais have banned truckers from picking up thousands of illegal immigrants breaking into their trucks! One French copper gave this astonishing interview to Jaggedone's CIA special immigrant reporter, Messieur Jean-Claude...
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Funny story: Sensational clue in MH370 mystery!

Sensational clue in MH370 mystery!

After a year of investigating the disappearance of MH370 investigators have divulged a sensational clue to the public and dependents who had loved ones on the plan as to where the damn thing could be and here it is: "We don't have a clue!" Wow!...
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Funny story: Merkel's urgent request

Merkel's urgent request

Jaggedone's CIA received and urgent request from Angela Merkel early this morning after Vetoing any possibility of Greece not paying back trillions of Euro's to the European Central Banks and others. She has asked our top fashion designer, Gorgeo...
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Funny story: New North Korea movie features President Obama caught in Washington brothel with his pants down and hand in the wrong place

New North Korea movie features President Obama caught in Washington brothel with his pants down and hand in the wrong place

Apparently in retaliation for the currently retracted movie The Interview, North Korea's movie factory Pyongyang Noir Films has just released a film titled Bang Chang Masters At Home. The story features the President of the United States in his fa...
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Funny story: McCain Says U.S. Should Invade Cuba

McCain Says U.S. Should Invade Cuba

WASHINGTON -President Obama's policy of normalizing relations with Cuba brought an angry response from Senator John McCain (R-AZ) who said, "This is about the appeasement of autocratic dictators, thugs, and adversaries, diminishing America's influen...
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Funny story: 2015 GOP Platform Has Been Completed

2015 GOP Platform Has Been Completed

The GOP platform that will be ratified by the 2016 Presidential Nominating Convention is now complete. Since the last convention, selected Congressional Republicans and State Party Chairs have been diligently working. According to insider reports, these are its major points: 1. We stand for the principles of torture, particularly rectal hydration. 2. We believe that rich donors should dramat...
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Funny story: Cheney Defends Using Spoof on Prisoners

Cheney Defends Using Spoof on Prisoners

Former vice-president Dick Cheney has drawn fire from human rights activists for defending the US and the CIA using satire as an interrogation technique on Guantanamo prisoners post 9-11. Cheney says that the United States was under a high level thre...
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Funny story: Shrink paid $81m to coach CIA torturers says 'Because I'm Worth It'

Shrink paid $81m to coach CIA torturers says 'Because I'm Worth It'

Langley, Virginia - "It was no bum deal," said Professor Einstein Flintstone, a former Pentagon psychiatrist on secondment to train fledgling CIA torturers in the dark arts of rectal feeding plus other recreational crap. "And what's more that much...
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Funny story: CIA "Rectal Hydration" Raises Questions

CIA "Rectal Hydration" Raises Questions

LANGLEY, VA --CIA Director, John O. Brennan held a rare press conference today where he attempted to defend CIA torture post 9/11. Brennan, contradicting former CIA Directors, said, "It is unknowable whether useful intelligence was ever obtained...
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Funny story: GOP Defends Torture

GOP Defends Torture

The GOP today released a statement in support of "enhanced interrogation" otherwise know as torture used by the CIA. The first six points the republicans use in their support are the most significant arguments and are presented here: 1) Just a...
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Funny story: CIA Suspected of Selling "Impeach Diane CIAnstein" Bumper Stickers

CIA Suspected of Selling "Impeach Diane CIAnstein" Bumper Stickers

BILLINGSGATE POST: Diane CIAnstein, the titular head of the California Communist Party, has been asked to step down from her post as United States Senator. In an effort suspected to be bankrolled by Orange County conservatives, possibly in conjunct...
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Funny story: Calls for UK judge-led cover-up into British complicity with CIA torture

Calls for UK judge-led cover-up into British complicity with CIA torture

London - A trawl of the great and good in Britain's senior judiciary has narrowed down a list of candidates capable of bullshitting in the international premier league. Top pick for a prolonged and tortuous televised whitewash guaranteed to flush...
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Funny story: US officials will demonstrate advanced interrogation techniques "not all that bad"

US officials will demonstrate advanced interrogation techniques "not all that bad"

Announced today, Mr. Obama and Mr. Brennan (head of the CIA) will participate in experiments to show Senator Diane Feinstein's objections are "over-amped." Spokespersons maintain US advanced interrogation techniques are "not all that bad" and may...
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Funny story: Former CIA Head Defends Torture

Former CIA Head Defends Torture

Today, on the CNN show, "Today's News," the former head of the CIA, General Michael Hayden, and Harvard Professor of Ethics, Greg Stiles, squared off against one another on the issue of torture. The background of the debate centered on The Senat...
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Funny story: CIA Torture Study a Torture to Read

CIA Torture Study a Torture to Read

"Judicious Use of Cognitive and Physical Trauma to Elicit Psychic Response"--By Dr. Gunter Chang, Director of Cognitive Studies at the Central Intelligence Agency, August 2003. Abstract: Research in the area of the psychic science lags considerably behind other research fields primarily due to lack of reproducible quantitative data obtained under controlled conditions. In an effort to establ...
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Speedo Makes Fashion Breakthrough with New HillBlimp Swimwear

Post Lohte,Speedo moves on with HillBlimp swimwear modeled by The Hillary. Made from new techno-sailcloth,HillBlimp pantsuit-swimwear can be worn at rallies with a quick amphib-option of sea dunking.
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