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Funny story:  Cancer No Longer #1 Killer In America: Morbid Obesity And Accidents Form Surprise Team

Cancer No Longer #1 Killer In America: Morbid Obesity And Accidents Form Surprise Team

ATLANTA, GA--In what is already being hailed as one of the most depressing pieces of news in weeks, the Centers for Disease Control have rolled out their annual list of leading causes of death for 2011, and it appears that neither cancer, nor heart d...
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Funny story:  Salmonella ring leader, Mr. Gobbles will be tried for terrorist acts

Salmonella ring leader, Mr. Gobbles will be tried for terrorist acts

People are eating a healthier diet these days and have reduced the use of red meats. However, it also means increasing the use of lean meats such as fish, chicken and turkey. Since the popularity of switching hamburg meat to ground turkey, more and...
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Funny story:  Investigation of Deadly Virus Now Focuses on White House Victory Garden after Obama's European Jaunt!

Investigation of Deadly Virus Now Focuses on White House Victory Garden after Obama's European Jaunt!

Shortly after the Obamas' European tour where the first lady bestowed presents of her home grown vegetables on the French, the Germans and the British, an outbreak of a deadly E-Coli virus spread rapidly through the continent leading investigators to...
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Funny story:  Centers for Disease Control (the CDC) Outlaws GOING VIRAL

Centers for Disease Control (the CDC) Outlaws GOING VIRAL

"We are sick and tired," announced the Director of the CDC at a press conference in Atlanta today, "of seeing people and things -- especially Internet stories and rumors -- GOING VIRAL." He continued, "We are stopping it as of today. Gone, kaput...
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Funny story:  C.D.C. Determines Asparagus Causes Traffic Accidents

C.D.C. Determines Asparagus Causes Traffic Accidents

Experts and researchers at the Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta have determined that the vegetable asparagus may be the cause of most traffic fatalities in the United States. This information has been relayed to Congress and legislation bannin...
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Funny story:  Advisory from the US Center for Responsible Appellation Policy

Advisory from the US Center for Responsible Appellation Policy

It has come to the attention of the US Center for Responsible Appellation Policy (US CRAP) that the global porcine slander has become intolerable and reflects personal prejudice, not fact. Accordingly, new recommendations are being promulgated to mor...
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Funny story:  Swine Flu (H1N1): Man dies after taking counterfeit "Tamiflew" knockoff

Swine Flu (H1N1): Man dies after taking counterfeit "Tamiflew" knockoff

Los Angeles, California - With all the supply of Tamiflu being horded by the swine flu panic buying or kept on the shelf and out of the medicine cabinet due to price gauging, some people in desperation have turned to cheep medical counterfeit knockof...
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Funny story:  Computer Virus Infects Humans

Computer Virus Infects Humans

DATELINE:ATLANTA-- The Center for Disease Comedy (CDC) is reporting the first case of a computer virus infecting human beings. The virus is called MSM (Missing Some Memory) and it has infected at least two-hundred people in the USA. The virus jump...
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Funny story:  1970s radical back in custody; Patty Hearst furious

1970s radical back in custody; Patty Hearst furious

Convicted urban-terrorist-turned-housewife Sara Jane 'Soliah' Olson is back in custody after a 'woops' clerical error caused the California Dept of Corrections to incorrectly calculate her release date, a CDC spokesman said to...
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Funny story:  CDC Issues List of Phony American Diseases

CDC Issues List of Phony American Diseases

Atlanta, Ga (IP) - The Center for Disease Control has issued a list of diseases which occur only in the United States and these only exist in the minds of wealthy Hollywood prima donna glitter queens and wanna be copy cat types.
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Funny story:  Alert: Massive chicken recall

Alert: Massive chicken recall

A wide variety of chicken products sold in countless stores under numerous brand names is being recalled for a suspected avian flu contamination.
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Michael Moore's Latest Film in Current Previews

Conspiracy sniffer-head Moore has cinematically digitized his latest gambit to expose a secret scheme in the baking industry. His Rotundity's new film is entitled "Wall Street Tookover My Twinkies!"

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