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Get It While You Can: Burt Reynolds Sells Himself (Cheap!)

HOLLYWEIRD, CALIFORNICATE - Has-been "actor" Burt Reynolds, who has lived beyond his means for many years, is offering over 600 "personal items" to the highest bidder at an auction at the Palms Casino Resort in Sin City (a. k. a. "Las Vegas"). The...

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Dolly Parton Addresses The Burt Reynolds Sex Tape Talk

Funny story: Dolly Parton Addresses The Burt Reynolds Sex Tape Talk

BEVERLY HILLS - The Queen of Country Music, Dolly Parton flew to Los Angeles to see about getting an estimate on a personal female procedure. After she left the office of Dr. Duffy F. Elderfunk, who is regarded as The Gynecologist to The Stars, sh...

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Burt Reynolds and Lonnie Anderson Have Been Offered Their Own Sit-Com

Funny story: Burt Reynolds and Lonnie Anderson Have Been Offered Their Own Sit-Com

HOLLYWOOD - Lonnie Anderson recently said that it took her a while but she was able to get over the heartbreak of having her husband (Burt Reynolds) cheat on her. She told Savannah Kettle with Glamboyant Magazine that when she divorced Burt back i...

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Kris and Bruce Jenner's Marital Yacht Has Hit The Rocks

Funny story: Kris and Bruce Jenner's Marital Yacht Has Hit The Rocks

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - The hills are alive with the sound of lawyers positioning themselves in what could be one long, drawn out divorce case. The storybook coupling of Kris Kardashian-Jenner and husband Bruce Jenner appears to be headed for the Big D.

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Man Finally Gets Stroker Ace After 27 Years

Funny story: Man Finally Gets Stroker Ace After 27 Years

Saginaw, Michigan-Troy Cedarwood, a former shift supervisor for GM, revealed today that he recently figured out the hidden joke in the movie Stroker Ace, a Burt Reynolds vehicle set in the world of auto racing and released in 1983.The film is often o...

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Ouch! Burt Reynolds And Kenny Rogers Are Starting To Look A Like

Funny story: Ouch! Burt Reynolds And Kenny Rogers Are Starting To Look A Like

SANTA MONICA, California - Former movie star Burt Reynolds and former singer Kenny Rogers have both had so much damn plastic surgery, liposuction, botox, collagen injections, and breast augmentation done that the two are beginning to look eerily alik...

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Burt Reynolds sold on ebay

Funny story: Burt Reynolds sold on ebay

Movie legend Burt Reynolds has been sold on eBay to actor Mickey Rourke. Reynolds, the star of Smokey & the Bandit, was bought for $25K last week by Angel Heart star Rourke. Rourke, who staged a massive comeback with The Wrestler, has refus...

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Burt Reynolds, GM Discuss Pontiac Division Deal Terms

Funny story: Burt Reynolds, GM Discuss Pontiac Division Deal Terms

ATLANTA, GA - With Gasosaurus Motorex (GM) struggling to maintain economic viability and pondering its End Game, GM's Pontiac division now faces The Longest Yard, and it's Uphill All the Way. Many insiders believe Pontiac's unfocused, Semi-Tough l...

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Hollywood to Remake Dr. Strangelove with Paris Hilton

Funny story: Hollywood to Remake Dr. Strangelove with Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton has been signed to star in a remake of the 1964 classic film Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb. The new film will be directed by first time director and former Paris pal Nichole Richie (daughter of pop...

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Tom Cruise Loses His Looks - Calendar Industry Worried

Funny story: Tom Cruise Loses His Looks - Calendar Industry Worried

Celebrity hearth-throb Tom Cruise has been a pin-up for thousands of fans the world over ever since his big Hollywood breaks in Top Gun and Risky Business, but time has caught up on him and he is literally falling apart.

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Reagan legacy: Fistful of Jelly Beans

Funny story: Reagan legacy: Fistful of Jelly Beans

The presidency, The Gipper now reminds us, is performance art. And so George Bush, badly miscast as leader of the free world, plays President George W. Bush -- part action hero, part villain, part Burt Reynolds ham -- with a devious twinkle and a trillion-dollar smirk.

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Breaking news…

The Only Way to Get the Palestinians to the Table

Our Middle East correspondent M. Voltaire opines: If you want PLO/Hamas to come to the Peace Table, set out copious quantities of rancid cheese --it's the only enticing incentive for street rats.
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