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Funny story: Burnley Beaten By Blackburn Rovers - Fans Upbeat As Relegation Looms

Burnley Beaten By Blackburn Rovers - Fans Upbeat As Relegation Looms

Blackburn Rovers, affectionately known by fans of bitter local rivals Burnley, as "T' Bastards" emerged victorious in a fiercely contested North East Lancashire derby by a single goal at Turf Moor. Condemning the Clarets to almost certain relegati...
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Funny story: Burnley Vow To Bounce Back Bigger And Better Than Ever

Burnley Vow To Bounce Back Bigger And Better Than Ever

The lads and lasses of Burnley are facing up to Premier League relegation with a smile on their faces and a spring in their step, pleased that their club made it to the big time and gave it their best shot. It hasn't all been doom and gloom for Cl...
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Funny story: Burnley Footballer Wins Countdown

Burnley Footballer Wins Countdown

Footballers aren't usually too well known for their intellectual prowess, but there is always an exception to the rule, and Burnley FC defender Clarke Carlisle is one of those exceptions. An outstanding one! Yesterday, Clarke Carlisle won his seco...
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Funny story: Burnley's Dismal Away Record Blamed On Minibus

Burnley's Dismal Away Record Blamed On Minibus

Sports analyst Doctor Michael Kane today attempted to explain Burnley's miserable Premier League away form to legions of disappointed fans. Reeling Burnley today squirmed as they were mercilessly battered into submission 5-2 by Aston Villa. Many p...
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Funny story: Owen Coyle Moved To Get Closer To Comedy Idol

Owen Coyle Moved To Get Closer To Comedy Idol

Former Burnley manager Owen Coyle today revealed the real reason behind his move from Burnley to Bolton Wanderers - He wanted to get closer to his comedy idol, Peter Kay. Coyle also revealed that he turned down a summer move to Celtic because it w...
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Funny story: Billy Connolly To Take The Reins At Turf Moor

Billy Connolly To Take The Reins At Turf Moor

Following Owen Coyle's shock defection to Bolton Wanderers, Burnley Chairman, Frank Sideboard this evening announced that the Premier League club already had it's eye on a possible successor. "We're giving serious consideration to offering Billy C...
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Funny story: Swine Flu Could Wipe Out Football Season

Swine Flu Could Wipe Out Football Season

Following the outbreak of swine flu at Blackburn Rovers there are fears that the football fixture list could be decimated. Sam Allardyce, the Rovers boss set the blame squarely at the door the of the Premier League, and hinted that the infection m...
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Funny story: Blackburn Rovers v Burnley Amid Massive Security Operation

Blackburn Rovers v Burnley Amid Massive Security Operation

Blackburn Rovers will tomorrow entertain neighbours and bitter rivals Burnley at Ewood Park tomorrow under tighter security measures than anything that ever existed at Guantanamo Bay. Burnley supporters, regardless of where they live, will be forc...
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Funny story: Leeds-Liverpool Canal Tsunami Wreaks Havoc In Burnley

Leeds-Liverpool Canal Tsunami Wreaks Havoc In Burnley

The north east Lancashire town of Burnley, home of Premier League newbies Burnley FC was today faced with a massive clean-up operation after a tsunami in the Leeds-Liverpool canal flooded the town centre with billions of gallons of oily water. The...
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Funny story: Chelsea Unperturbed By Transfer Ban

Chelsea Unperturbed By Transfer Ban

Despite being banned from signing any new players over the next two transfer windows, Chelsea aren't particularly worried about this latest sanction. "Hey, the governor is a Russian oligarch," a spokesman for the club told us. "We're used to ducki...
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Funny story: Burnley Fans To Sober Up Ahead Of Everton Clash

Burnley Fans To Sober Up Ahead Of Everton Clash

Football fans in the town of Burnley have vowed to get sober before Sunday's Premiership clash with Everton, following a booze fuelled en-masse three day bender after the club defeated Premier League Champions and last year's Champions League finalis...
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Funny story: Burnley Embroiled In Relegation Battle Already

Burnley Embroiled In Relegation Battle Already

With the season only one game old, it appears that relegation favourites Burnley, are living up to their billing following a 2-0 defeat away at Stoke City. Manager, Owen Coyle told us: "It's no looking good. If we cannae scrape a result at Stok...
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Funny story: Burnley FC Get Changing Rooms Team In

Burnley FC Get Changing Rooms Team In

After being told that their facilities don't meet Premiership standards, Premiership new boys Burnley FC are to call in the BBC Changing Rooms team, in a bid to get the work done on the cheap. "We're just a small town club," a Burnley Official tol...
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Funny story: Burnley win last 2010 premier league relegation spot

Burnley win last 2010 premier league relegation spot

Wade Elliott's sensational strike ended Burnley's 33-year wait for another relegation from the top flight as they defeated Sheffield United in the Championship play-off final. Elliott scored with a curling 13th-minute strike into the top corner fo...
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Funny story: Burnley FC Caterers Announce Turf Moor Premier League Menu

Burnley FC Caterers Announce Turf Moor Premier League Menu

The rest of the Premier League are in for a real Lancashire treat when they visit Turf Moor next season, according to the club's caterers. Following a successful three year sponsorship deal, the club will be sticking with Holland's Pies, including...
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Funny story: Burnley reach Premier League - Chip Shop owners rub hands in glee!

Burnley reach Premier League - Chip Shop owners rub hands in glee!

Chip shop owners Nationwide were meeting tonight to discuss how best to cope with the anticipated demand in chips from newly promoted Burnley Fans. A Premier League taskforce was also meeting behind closed doors with Balti Pie Kings - Aston Villa...
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Funny story: Burnley Promoted - Holland's Pies Lose Out

Burnley Promoted - Holland's Pies Lose Out

Premiership new boys Burnley FC may be over the moon with their promotion courtesy of a Wade Elliot 13th minute Wembley belter but the dream is over for shirt sponsors Holland's Pies of nearby Baxenden, Lancashire. Holland's three year sponsorship...
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Funny story: Burnley One Game Away - Premier League Panic

Burnley One Game Away - Premier League Panic

With unfashionable Burnley only ninety minutes away from securing Premier League status there was panic in the corridors of footballing power today. The bottom line is that the football authorities do not want Burnley in the Premier League, and wi...
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Breaking News...

Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
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