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Funny satire stories about Burger King

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Bugger Queen to Slide Meat Between Tim Horny's Buns

U.S. fast food chain Bugger Queen, aided by a load of seed money from financier Warren Bummit, announced plans to penetrate the Canadian market by buying up coffee and dog nut chain Tim Horny's. "We're really pumped up over this", announced Bugger...

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Burger King Workers Like the Slogan Change

Funny story: Burger King Workers Like the Slogan Change

Good-bye "Have it your way." Hello "Be your way." And the BK workers seem to approve. "Why should pesty customers expect everything THEIR way?" asked a gum-chewing BK worker yesterday, continuing, "what a crock." Popping his gum at the interview...

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NCAA On The Defensive Over Burger King Ad

ANN ARBOR, MICHIGAN-- As College Basketball's "March Madness" heats up, with the "Sweet 16" round just around the corner, viewers of the four stations of coverage have no doubt seen a Burger King advertisement starring Chris Webber (NBA Hall-of-Famer...

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Burger King's NBA-Themed Double Dribble Deluxe Cheeseburgers Are Having Great Sales

Funny story: Burger King's NBA-Themed Double Dribble Deluxe Cheeseburgers Are Having Great Sales

MIAMI, Florida - Burger King Spokesman Gavin Zhivago related that the BK home office is positively thrilled with the sales of their latest menu addition. Zhivago said that the new NBA-themed Double Dribble Deluxe Cheeseburger is selling like gangb...

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Billionaire Bill Gates Wants To Buy Burger King

Funny story: Billionaire Bill Gates Wants To Buy Burger King

MIAMI - Multi-billionaire Bill Gates visited the headquarters of Burger King and talked to the company's CEO about the possibility of him purchasing the global hamburger franchise chain. Gates mentioned that ever since he was 16½ he has dreamed ab...

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Boogers: they're finger-lickin' good!

"Booger" (also "boogie") is the polite name for snot, a free, delicious, nutritious emergency ration produced, without fanfare, by the nasal mucosa in such abundance that individuals swallow approximately 3.48 gallons per day without realizing it. Boogers are made up of mucin, water, cells, and inorganic salts. Depending upon the size of the serving, a single helping may contain from 10 to 40 c...

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Booger King introduces new Bun Burgers

MIAMI, FL - Booger King spokesman Stanley Snodgrass announced the fast-food giant's introduction of a new menu item that will be offered only at franchises in beach and summer resorts. "It's a little risqué," Snodgrass confessed. "The buns are sha...

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Mr. Ed, Secretariat Eaten at Burger King

Funny story: Mr. Ed, Secretariat Eaten at Burger King

The UK branch of the fast food chain Burger King was still reeling from the publicity surrounding the fact that horsemeat had found its way into some of their burgers when another blow was dealt to their image. It seems that at least two or three bel...

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Whoa! Traces of Horse Meat Found in England's Burger Kings

Funny story: Whoa! Traces of Horse Meat Found in England's Burger Kings

LONDON - A representative with Britain's Burger Bureau has reported that tests have shown that traces of horse meat have been found in some Burger King burgers. According to The Ta Ta For Now News Agency equine DNA in the form of M&M size mors...

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Long John Comes Out As Chick-Fil-A Wars Escalate

Funny story: Long John Comes Out As Chick-Fil-A Wars Escalate

The fast food wars heated up today as restaurant icons took sides in the increasingly hostile Chick-Fil-A debate. The controversy began when Chick-Fil-A honcho Dan Cathay spoke out against gay marriage late last week. Since then, drag queens have bee...

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The Burger King enters the Republican presidential race

Funny story: The Burger King enters the Republican presidential race

Miami, Florida - Overthrown last month in a corporate food fight, the Burger King has vowed to regain his kingdom - the home of the Whopper - by becoming President of the United States. "I have been deposed by a pack of jackals and knaves," the ki...

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Queen Elizabeth II Dictates Austerity Measures, Part II

Funny story: Queen Elizabeth II Dictates Austerity Measures, Part II

More information (see Part I of the series) on the Queen's economy drive for the Royals has been revealed. Here are the latest developments: Royals shouldn't pay for haircuts. They are advised to just put a Royal bowl on their heads to shape the cuts. According to the Queen, "That should do quite nicely." No necessity to rent movies. The Queen is always pleased to lend out Helen Mirren'...

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Burger King Boss Says British Women Are Ugly

Funny story: Burger King Boss Says British Women Are Ugly

Burger King chief executive, Bernard Hees, has described British women as ugly and British food as terrible. Although a spokesman for the chain later said Mr Hees regretted the unguarded comments - made to a group of Chicago students - the fall-ou...

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Burger King Rolls Out New Sandwich: The BK 10:30.

Funny story: Burger King Rolls Out New Sandwich: The BK 10:30.

Burger King, America's #2 Sh-t Food restaurant, announced that they are adding a "transitional" sandwich to their menu: The BK 10:30. The BK 10:30 is a breakfast Croissan'wich that is, er . . . sandwiched between the two beefy patties of a Double...

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Why I have been banned from every fast food joint in Stockport

Funny story: Why I have been banned from every fast food joint in Stockport

I'll start by making my apologies. I can be a little bit grumpy at times, especially when I am lacking in Vitamin Caffeine. However, that said, I feel that banning me from every McDonald's, Burger King, Kentucky Fried Chicken and the like in the Royal Borough of Stockport was slightly harsh. McDonald's were the first. It was early. I walked in bleary eyed and asked quite plainly for a black cof...

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Tent Company to Make Rush Limbaugh's Suits

Funny story: Tent Company to Make Rush Limbaugh's Suits

A camping equipment company announced today that it has signed a contract with Rush Limbaugh to make the media personality's garments. CEO Sam Solomon said that his company "is uniquely qualified to fabricate Mr. Limbaugh's clothing. Our oversize...

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Burger Restaurant vs. The 6-Month-Old Shoeless Baby

Funny story: Burger Restaurant vs. The 6-Month-Old Shoeless Baby

SUNSET HILLS, Missouri - Both combatants in The Battle of The Burger Wars between Burger King vs. McDonald's have called a temporary halt to their 'fast food fighting.' McDonald's has called a truce because their soldiers (employees) can not stop...

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Burger King Faces A Dangerous New Owner

Funny story: Burger King Faces A Dangerous New Owner

MIAMI, FLORIDA - Michael Jackson reportedly purchased Burger King for 1.7 billion dollars this Friday. Making his recovery from plastic surgery, he has a new love for burgers and would "like to be the owner of a place with so many of so many burgers...

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Breaking news…

The Only Way to Get the Palestinians to the Table

Our Middle East correspondent M. Voltaire opines: If you want PLO/Hamas to come to the Peace Table, set out copious quantities of rancid cheese --it's the only enticing incentive for street rats.
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