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Plans for Bergdahl Post-CourtMartial LeakedAnother leak from the Empire Palace reveals Barack I will appoint Beau Bergdahl--after his court-martial--as His Excellency's Ambassador to the Taliban, given Bergdahls' extensive connections there.
The Hillary Has to Make a Quick-Change in Order to Appear in PublicKnown to insiders is that Hillary has to don those sail-maker crafted pants suit only for public events. Mandated by all Clinton funding from those Arab states, she must be in strict purdah elsewhere.
Spock's PredicamentThe late Spock, as a half-human male, tried without success to solve a most curious problem: He was attracted to women with one huge boob!
US Surgeon General Recomends Federal Copulation CenterSurgeon General Vice Admiral Vivek H. Murthy, released a study today recommending that President Obama issue an executive order to establish a Federal United Copulation Center (FUCC).
Scientists Blame Solar Eclipses on Global Climate ChangeUSGS Chief Scientist, Jack MeHoff, released a study today that concludes that the increasing number of solar eclipses is due to Global Climate Change, caused by human activity.
Telsa Motors Unveils Coal-Powered SUVTelsa Motors' CEO, Ellen Mush, announced their next "green" vehicle - The Telsa Model C. The model C is the first coal-powered vehicle since the 1884 Trepardeux.
President Obama Issues Executive Order Mandating That All African-Americans Must VoteIn a stunning moment, President Obama signed an executive order that mandates all African-Americans to vote. Obama signed the order in a meeting in Detroit on Thursday.
Tearful Duo Forms Joint Venture in US EmpireEmperor Barack I and "BooHoo" Pelosi share their sorrow over triumph of PM Netanyahu in Israeli election. They plan to go on the road with their tear-throwing act at sad-sack, Empire Liberal venues.
John Boehner Files Petition for Change of NameSpeaker of the United States House of Representatives, John Boehner, filed a petition with the Municipal Court of West Chester Township, Ohio today to legally change his name.
Justice Department Preparing Lawsuit Against Polar Bears InternationalThe Justice Department is preparing to bring a lawsuit against Polar Bears International over a pattern of racially discriminatory tactics.
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