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Funny story:  Alcohol Makes You Lose Brain Cells? Not According To Idiot/Savant!

Alcohol Makes You Lose Brain Cells? Not According To Idiot/Savant!

Everybody's alarmed at the recent report that "Alcohol Destroys Brain Cells". Of course, I tell them we only use ten percent of our brain anyway according to those same people, right? So I read about how many brain cells we have to lose and it's...
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Funny story:  Woody Allen Ready For Brain Transplant

Woody Allen Ready For Brain Transplant

Everyone knows that Woody Allen has a great brain and has made some great movies but Allen's body began playing out at 16 or 17 years old. The solution may be a new body being planned by scientists in New Orleans. Allen is paying millions requesti...
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Funny story:  I Was Taking Advantage of During Brain Surgery

I Was Taking Advantage of During Brain Surgery

A patient at a Las Vegas Hospital is suing them for over a million dollars after she charged them with "taking advantage of her" while she was undergoing brain surgery. "They didn't know that I was awake during the whole time. All that stuff they...
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Funny story:  Russian Military Will Begin Experiments with Edward Snowden's Brain

Russian Military Will Begin Experiments with Edward Snowden's Brain

You may have heard the rumor about the Russian military taking possession of Edward Snowden for scientific experimentation. As it turns out, Snowden was given political asylum but it was recently revealed that it was in exchange for making a secret...
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Funny story:  Mayo Clinic Poll:  Thirty-seven percent of Americans have Shit for Brains!

Mayo Clinic Poll: Thirty-seven percent of Americans have Shit for Brains!

A new poll released by Mayo Clinic this morning reveals that thirty-seven percent of the adult US population has Shit for Brains! In an unprecedented move Fox News and MSNBC News are claiming that the poll is biased, provocative, and blasphemous. The...
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Funny story:  Obama launches BRAIN initiative, ignores Pinky

Obama launches BRAIN initiative, ignores Pinky

Washington DC- President Obama announced a $100 million initiative to map and understand the human brain.  This idea, repeatedly suggested to him by the First Lady and his daughters is primarily geared at helping humanity understand one basic questio...
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Funny story:  Cross Dressers have bigger brains

Cross Dressers have bigger brains

Brain imaging studies have shown that transvestites have bigger brains than men who do not cross dress. "It was a spot on correlation," said neurologist, Matt Paynter. "Men who cross dressed seemed to have bigger brains." Neurologists are putt...
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Funny story:  Women's brains are primed for make-up

Women's brains are primed for make-up

Neuroscience has located a section of the female brain that is seemingly geared towards wanting to wear make-up. Located in the primitive hind brain, the so dubbed 'Number 7' section is not present in male brains. "We've studied this group of n...
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Funny story:  Insideout at the Inn

Insideout at the Inn

Holiday Inn Worldwide (HIW) has announced it will be opening a new franchise of upscale boutique-style restaurants in select cities worldwide. CEO Sean Rand says that the restaurants, named Innards, will cater to sophisticated clientele with unique...
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Funny story:  Miracle: Man's Memory Instantly Restored

Miracle: Man's Memory Instantly Restored

CHESTER, Pa. (WTFM) --- It was a hot, summer afternoon in mid-August, 1962, when a twelve-year-old Robert Tiller and his younger brother, Pete, decided they would bury a jar of pennies in their backyard. Two years later, they decided to dig it...
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Funny story:  'The Human Brain Rewrites "Boring" Speech', Claims Study

'The Human Brain Rewrites "Boring" Speech', Claims Study

The human brain has the ability to make even the most boring stories vivid and entertaining, a leading brain scientist claims. This is because the brain's 'inner voice' can talk over even the most tedious speaker, according to Professor Jens Convo...
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Funny story:  Magic mushrooms are good for brains, say neurosurgeons

Magic mushrooms are good for brains, say neurosurgeons

A team of neuroscientists and brain surgeons have found that ingesting magic mushrooms really does help when it comes to tricky brain problems. Over a six month trial period at a Ruffcutts Hospital, they ingested magic mushrooms before carrying ou...
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Funny story:  Mental Decline Begins As Early As 45 Says New How's-your-father

Mental Decline Begins As Early As 45 Says New How's-your-father

Our brains start to deteriorate from as young as 45, according to a thingy - you know, a wossname - published yesterday... or was it the day before? Anyway, where was I? Oh yes... this thingy, in the online version of the British Medical Journal,...
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Funny story:  Study that claims larger brain areas for many-friended Facebookers wreacking havoc at Vermont college

Study that claims larger brain areas for many-friended Facebookers wreacking havoc at Vermont college

HARFOLD, Vt.--The student body at Harfold State College is at odds with a recently-released U.K. study. British researchers are claiming that Facebook users with lots of friends tend to have larger areas of the brain than do those who have less frien...
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Funny story:  Acton Cannibal ate neighbour's brain

Acton Cannibal ate neighbour's brain

Acton man Terry Scrote has turned himself in to the police and confessed to eating his neighbour's brain. "I was Hank Marvin after getting legless in the Bush with Stan Snide so i necked the contents of Arthur Saveloy's skull" claimed the part ti...
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Funny story:  Astronomers find supermassive black holes in Sarah Palin's head

Astronomers find supermassive black holes in Sarah Palin's head

NASA - Astronomers have discovered a pair of supermassive black holes in the twisty, spiral brain of former Alaskan governor Sarah Palin, NASA said Wednesday. Approximately 160 million light years from Earth, Ms. Palin is the nearest known such ph...
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Funny story:  McCain to produce 'brain' chips

McCain to produce 'brain' chips

Food manufacturer McCain have confirmed their intention to begin mass producing chips made of brain matter, which they say will replicate all the qualities consumers have become accustomed to in the potato versions, other than being slightly more tem...
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Funny story:  Who Would Have Suspected That Men Have a Second Brain In Their.... Um.... 'Naughty Bits'?

Who Would Have Suspected That Men Have a Second Brain In Their.... Um.... 'Naughty Bits'?

Physiological scientists have made an amazing discovery in that man (and we mean specifically 'man' here, not 'wo-man') much like the dinosaurs of ancient times possess a second brain located at an extremity of the body. Both man and dinosaurs have t...
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Michael Moore's Latest Film in Current Previews

Conspiracy sniffer-head Moore has cinematically digitized his latest gambit to expose a secret scheme in the baking industry. His Rotundity's new film is entitled "Wall Street Tookover My Twinkies!"

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