Britain is to become the first alcohol free-zone in the free world because many Brit binge drinkers have had enough of puking at the weekends.
Puking Health minister, Jeremy Hunt, issued a health hazard after vomiting at the sight of Brit binge dr...
Plans to collect cheap beers, wines and spirits in a big bin were welcomed by poorer drinkers worried about Government proposals to increase minimum prices on units of alcohol.
The big brewers and wine merchants have been wondering what to do with...
God damn you merry gentlemen!
What I've learned in my 61 years is that if you spend too much time in the past, you get trapped there, especially if the past is all you have to get you through the day. I am as much a historian as anything I may be. But the past is the past. And while I admire those who plan well for their futures, I am also smart enough to know that a significant number of th...
With the success of the smoking ban in reducing the amount of smoking in the UK, moves are now afoot to tackle the British Booze problem in the same way.
"Booze is far more dangerous than any other drug on the planet," said Temperance Camper, co-o...
The Greek economy has been saved due to the global record consumption of their most famous product, ouzo, over the Christmas period. The German and French governments + other European states are relieved that the Euro crisis has now been resolved and...
Two femme Fatales were arrested by the police yesterday after their daring robbery was foiled by most high tech (and unstoppable) of police tactics. The stationary, highly visible security camera.
The two woman gang, made up of Rose "The Flowerpo...
In St Pancras (no medical analogies please), London, the corner overseeing the inquest into Amy Winehouse's death has confirmed the fact that Amy more than lived up to her name.
In fact she had more wine (and other spirits, not the ghostly type, n...
The government plans to restrict the sale of alcohol to Mondays only. This is in response to widespread evidence that people drink far less alcohol on Mondays compared to any other day of the week.
"This 'Mondays only' restriction is a radical ste...
A drunk person caused quite a stir in a local boozer this evening, by consistently swearing and not standing up straight.
The drunk, a young woman of demure stature was enjoying her evening, when she suddenly and unexpectedly had 'one over the eig...
A local Judge of The Mutton this morning told booze ban girl, 22 year old Heidi Hole that she represented everything that was corrupt and rotten in our society.
Adding for good measure that her vagina probably stinks to high heaven too, comparing...
Bush tucker jungle flop Katie Price stunned friends and family here in London Thursday night/Friday morning by reverting to her Jordan persona and embarking on a liver bashing booze binge.
Jordan, who is reportedly hovering on the verge of 'meltdo...
DENVER, CO - The pilot of the now infamous flight to nowhere claims he was not drinking in the cockpit, this time. He claims, according to my source, the stewardess he slept with last night, that he in fact saw balloon boy at 36,000 feet. He is afr...
NEW YORK -- A homeless man in midtown Manhattan decided to spend all of his money on alcohol again early Friday morning. The man, who doesn't know his last name but thinks his first name might be Pete, used the $3.38 he collected in donations ove...
Boy Wizard, Harry Potter, is today waking up in Azkaban having fallen foul of the Hogshead police after a drunken binge to celebrate his quoits victory.
LA, USA, Global ASS' Press: - Wonderful human being, celebrity role model and animal lover Paris Hilton is know for her love of small fury things but has had to put her cuddly friends behind her as she prepares t...
Washington, DC - Members of the Board of Trustees for the National Park Services and officials at the U.S Department of the Interior today unveiled plans for a new Kennedy Memorial, to honor all of the dynastic family's many contributions to Amer...
This time of year sees the shift from indoor alcohol related deaths to outdoor alcohol related deaths in the UK.
Moscow- The beautiful Stalinist architecture of the Russian capital, long admired by British council architects, has seen many a scandal come and go but the latest one seems set to rumble for a while to come.