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Funny satire stories about Booze

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Funny story: Toronto mayor in Santa dress embarrassed by false child

Toronto mayor in Santa dress embarrassed by false child

Spokespersons and law representatives for Toronto Mayor Mr. Rob Ford have come forth to clarify yesterday's incident downtown at Eaton's Department Store. Mr. Ford had been contracted to appear as Santa in the toy department but dressed in a femal...
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Funny story: Spoof writer embarks on Manhattan Project

Spoof writer embarks on Manhattan Project

Western MA- Spoof writer Kevin Murphy has begun a new Manhattan project. Inspired by talk show host Rachel Maddow, research and experimentation into making a good Manhattan has begun in earnest. Preliminary results indicate that Kentucky strai...
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Funny story: Alcohol to be banned in Britain!

Alcohol to be banned in Britain!

Britain is to become the first alcohol free-zone in the free world because many Brit binge drinkers have had enough of puking at the weekends. Puking Health minister, Jeremy Hunt, issued a health hazard after vomiting at the sight of Brit binge dr...
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Funny story: Cheap alcohol bin helps poorer drinkers

Cheap alcohol bin helps poorer drinkers

Plans to collect cheap beers, wines and spirits in a big bin were welcomed by poorer drinkers worried about Government proposals to increase minimum prices on units of alcohol. The big brewers and wine merchants have been wondering what to do with...
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Funny story: My life as a man #31

My life as a man #31

God damn you merry gentlemen! What I've learned in my 61 years is that if you spend too much time in the past, you get trapped there, especially if the past is all you have to get you through the day. I am as much a historian as anything I may be. But the past is the past. And while I admire those who plan well for their futures, I am also smart enough to know that a significant number of th...
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Funny story: No more beer in pubs

No more beer in pubs

With the success of the smoking ban in reducing the amount of smoking in the UK, moves are now afoot to tackle the British Booze problem in the same way. "Booze is far more dangerous than any other drug on the planet," said Temperance Camper, co-o...
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Funny story: Record sales of ouzo save Greek economy!

Record sales of ouzo save Greek economy!

The Greek economy has been saved due to the global record consumption of their most famous product, ouzo, over the Christmas period. The German and French governments + other European states are relieved that the Euro crisis has now been resolved and...
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Funny story: Shopping: The Manchester Way

Shopping: The Manchester Way

Two femme Fatales were arrested by the police yesterday after their daring robbery was foiled by most high tech (and unstoppable) of police tactics. The stationary, highly visible security camera. The two woman gang, made up of Rose "The Flowerpo...
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Funny story: Coroner confirms that Amy "Winehouse" lived up to her name!

Coroner confirms that Amy "Winehouse" lived up to her name!

In St Pancras (no medical analogies please), London, the corner overseeing the inquest into Amy Winehouse's death has confirmed the fact that Amy more than lived up to her name. In fact she had more wine (and other spirits, not the ghostly type, n...
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Funny story: Monday Booze To Replace Monday Blues

Monday Booze To Replace Monday Blues

The government plans to restrict the sale of alcohol to Mondays only. This is in response to widespread evidence that people drink far less alcohol on Mondays compared to any other day of the week. "This 'Mondays only' restriction is a radical ste...
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Funny story: Shock: Drunk 'Lady' Has too Much To Drink And Gets Drunk

Shock: Drunk 'Lady' Has too Much To Drink And Gets Drunk

A drunk person caused quite a stir in a local boozer this evening, by consistently swearing and not standing up straight. The drunk, a young woman of demure stature was enjoying her evening, when she suddenly and unexpectedly had 'one over the eig...
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Funny story: "Rotten" Booze Ban Girl Told "Your Vagina Probably Stinks To High Heaven Too!"

"Rotten" Booze Ban Girl Told "Your Vagina Probably Stinks To High Heaven Too!"

A local Judge of The Mutton this morning told booze ban girl, 22 year old Heidi Hole that she represented everything that was corrupt and rotten in our society. Adding for good measure that her vagina probably stinks to high heaven too, comparing...
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Funny story: Katie Price Reborn As Jordan On London Nightclub Bender

Katie Price Reborn As Jordan On London Nightclub Bender

Bush tucker jungle flop Katie Price stunned friends and family here in London Thursday night/Friday morning by reverting to her Jordan persona and embarking on a liver bashing booze binge. Jordan, who is reportedly hovering on the verge of 'meltdo...
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Funny story: US pilot denies cockpit booze - says saw 'balloon boy'

US pilot denies cockpit booze - says saw 'balloon boy'

DENVER, CO - The pilot of the now infamous flight to nowhere claims he was not drinking in the cockpit, this time. He claims, according to my source, the stewardess he slept with last night, that he in fact saw balloon boy at 36,000 feet. He is afr...
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Funny story: Homeless Man Blows Savings On Booze Again

Homeless Man Blows Savings On Booze Again

NEW YORK -- A homeless man in midtown Manhattan decided to spend all of his money on alcohol again early Friday morning. The man, who doesn't know his last name but thinks his first name might be Pete, used the $3.38 he collected in donations ove...
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Funny story: Harry Potter You're Nicked My Son! - Boy Wizard In Chokey After Bender

Harry Potter You're Nicked My Son! - Boy Wizard In Chokey After Bender

Boy Wizard, Harry Potter, is today waking up in Azkaban having fallen foul of the Hogshead police after a drunken binge to celebrate his quoits victory.
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Funny story: Paris Hiltons Pussy goes hungry whilst she is in custody!

Paris Hiltons Pussy goes hungry whilst she is in custody!

LA, USA, Global ASS' Press: - Wonderful human being, celebrity role model and animal lover Paris Hilton is know for her love of small fury things but has had to put her cuddly friends behind her as she prepares t...
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Funny story: DC to Construct New Kennedy Memorial on National Mall

DC to Construct New Kennedy Memorial on National Mall

Washington, DC - Members of the Board of Trustees for the National Park Services and officials at the U.S Department of the Interior today unveiled plans for a new Kennedy Memorial, to honor all of the dynastic family's many contributions to Amer...
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Breaking News...

"I Made Up Global Warming" Admits Gore

"I needed a new campaign hook and that bit about me inventing the Internet just wasn't going to fly so I just thought up that one," said Al Gore, Nobel Prize winner and former Vice-President.

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