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Funny satire stories about Booze

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Funny story: US pissed peacock crashes liquor store!

US pissed peacock crashes liquor store!

A Californian liquor store owner got the shock of his life when a peacock strutted in demanding BOOZE! The owner thought it was a practical joke, but after the huge bird made a beeline for the bourbon, he realised the joke was not on him! The peac...
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Funny story: Dr Farquar and Happy Hour

Dr Farquar and Happy Hour

Happy Hour? Only forty odd years ago the minimum drinking age was 21 years. Pubs opened and shut with strict split second timing. Drunken or antisocial behaviour were not tolerated. The 'Off licence' was the only place you could get alcohol out of pub hours. On a Sunday morning, it was impossible to get alcohol. Now we have access to booze 24-7. Supermarkets. Nightclubs. Duty free 'booze cr...
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Funny story: Keith Richards was my role model says park bench hobo

Keith Richards was my role model says park bench hobo

New York - "I spent my formative years staring at vids of Keith Richards crashed out on the living room couch," reclusive Central Park vagrant Wally Richards said today, "it's what inspired me to a life of booze and drugs." The comments come amid...
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Funny story: Big Name Brewers About to Invade With Radical New Boozes

Big Name Brewers About to Invade With Radical New Boozes

Kelly's Bar, Harper Valley (STT News) With the smaller craft beer industry gaining steam as the mega-breweries see constant slippage in sales, there had to be counter-offensive. It was just a matter of time and waiting to see what the giants would t...
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Funny story: Toronto mayor in Santa dress embarrassed by false child

Toronto mayor in Santa dress embarrassed by false child

Spokespersons and law representatives for Toronto Mayor Mr. Rob Ford have come forth to clarify yesterday's incident downtown at Eaton's Department Store. Mr. Ford had been contracted to appear as Santa in the toy department but dressed in a femal...
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Funny story: Spoof writer embarks on Manhattan Project

Spoof writer embarks on Manhattan Project

Western MA- Spoof writer Kevin Murphy has begun a new Manhattan project. Inspired by talk show host Rachel Maddow, research and experimentation into making a good Manhattan has begun in earnest. Preliminary results indicate that Kentucky strai...
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Funny story: Alcohol to be banned in Britain!

Alcohol to be banned in Britain!

Britain is to become the first alcohol free-zone in the free world because many Brit binge drinkers have had enough of puking at the weekends. Puking Health minister, Jeremy Hunt, issued a health hazard after vomiting at the sight of Brit binge dr...
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Funny story: Cheap alcohol bin helps poorer drinkers

Cheap alcohol bin helps poorer drinkers

Plans to collect cheap beers, wines and spirits in a big bin were welcomed by poorer drinkers worried about Government proposals to increase minimum prices on units of alcohol. The big brewers and wine merchants have been wondering what to do with...
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Funny story: My life as a man #31

My life as a man #31

God damn you merry gentlemen! What I've learned in my 61 years is that if you spend too much time in the past, you get trapped there, especially if the past is all you have to get you through the day. I am as much a historian as anything I may be. But the past is the past. And while I admire those who plan well for their futures, I am also smart enough to know that a significant number of th...
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Funny story: No more beer in pubs

No more beer in pubs

With the success of the smoking ban in reducing the amount of smoking in the UK, moves are now afoot to tackle the British Booze problem in the same way. "Booze is far more dangerous than any other drug on the planet," said Temperance Camper, co-o...
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Funny story: Record sales of ouzo save Greek economy!

Record sales of ouzo save Greek economy!

The Greek economy has been saved due to the global record consumption of their most famous product, ouzo, over the Christmas period. The German and French governments + other European states are relieved that the Euro crisis has now been resolved and...
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Funny story: Shopping: The Manchester Way

Shopping: The Manchester Way

Two femme Fatales were arrested by the police yesterday after their daring robbery was foiled by most high tech (and unstoppable) of police tactics. The stationary, highly visible security camera. The two woman gang, made up of Rose "The Flowerpo...
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Funny story: Coroner confirms that Amy "Winehouse" lived up to her name!

Coroner confirms that Amy "Winehouse" lived up to her name!

In St Pancras (no medical analogies please), London, the corner overseeing the inquest into Amy Winehouse's death has confirmed the fact that Amy more than lived up to her name. In fact she had more wine (and other spirits, not the ghostly type, n...
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Funny story: Monday Booze To Replace Monday Blues

Monday Booze To Replace Monday Blues

The government plans to restrict the sale of alcohol to Mondays only. This is in response to widespread evidence that people drink far less alcohol on Mondays compared to any other day of the week. "This 'Mondays only' restriction is a radical ste...
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Funny story: Shock: Drunk 'Lady' Has too Much To Drink And Gets Drunk

Shock: Drunk 'Lady' Has too Much To Drink And Gets Drunk

A drunk person caused quite a stir in a local boozer this evening, by consistently swearing and not standing up straight. The drunk, a young woman of demure stature was enjoying her evening, when she suddenly and unexpectedly had 'one over the eig...
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Funny story: "Rotten" Booze Ban Girl Told "Your Vagina Probably Stinks To High Heaven Too!"

"Rotten" Booze Ban Girl Told "Your Vagina Probably Stinks To High Heaven Too!"

A local Judge of The Mutton this morning told booze ban girl, 22 year old Heidi Hole that she represented everything that was corrupt and rotten in our society. Adding for good measure that her vagina probably stinks to high heaven too, comparing...
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Funny story: Katie Price Reborn As Jordan On London Nightclub Bender

Katie Price Reborn As Jordan On London Nightclub Bender

Bush tucker jungle flop Katie Price stunned friends and family here in London Thursday night/Friday morning by reverting to her Jordan persona and embarking on a liver bashing booze binge. Jordan, who is reportedly hovering on the verge of 'meltdo...
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Funny story: US pilot denies cockpit booze - says saw 'balloon boy'

US pilot denies cockpit booze - says saw 'balloon boy'

DENVER, CO - The pilot of the now infamous flight to nowhere claims he was not drinking in the cockpit, this time. He claims, according to my source, the stewardess he slept with last night, that he in fact saw balloon boy at 36,000 feet. He is afr...
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