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Opinion: Trump V Syria

US windbag and all round walking political piss take, Donald Trump, has defended his “mission accomplished” tweet after it was ridiculed by actual media outlets. The same outlets Donald keeps claiming are fake. It always seems odd to us that a man with no political qualifications sits in a political job and calls qualified individuals “fake”. Anyway we digress.... Of course Donald authorised ai...

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Trump Unveils Foreign Policy Position: Bomb Mexico And Take Their Oil

Funny story: Trump Unveils Foreign Policy Position: Bomb Mexico And Take Their Oil

After enduring criticism for a lack of depth in foreign policy knowledge, Donald Trump has released a plan to bomb Mexico and seize their oil production facilities. Trump spoke tuesday with CNN's Anderson Cooper about the details. "I'm going t...

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David Cameron Declares War On Seagullic State

Funny story: David Cameron Declares War On Seagullic State

Following a spate of vicious attacks on innocent members of the public by Seagullist extremists, our Prime Minister announced he plans to tackle this growing problem. Speaking in Birmingham earlier today, and wearing a protective shower cap, David...

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White House Apocalyptic Announcement

Funny story: White House Apocalyptic Announcement

Press Secretary for President Obama's administration, Karl Von Mitty Munchausen announced today to at gathering of journalists and reporters invited to a White House tickets-only news conference the following: "General Martin Dempsey, chairman of...

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New Terrorist Group "SHAZAAM" Says ISIS is for Punks!

Funny story: New Terrorist Group "SHAZAAM" Says ISIS is for Punks!

An even more violent and ruthless terrorist group "Shazaam" released a video today calling ISIS members "Punks" and "Pussy Boys". The twenty minute video showed the groups leader, tearing off the head of a captured ISIS fighter and then eating s...

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History Strikes Back - Barnes Wallis' Answer for the Crimea

Funny story: History Strikes Back - Barnes Wallis' Answer for the Crimea

Out of history often comes tales of those long dead returning to share visions and recalls of what was and may be. Here today, DeLisa ReNova of the BBC tells the story of her encounter with one of Britain's most famous innovators and heroes of WW2. A man who, in his time, helped change the course of world conflict... Ms. ReNova begins by explaining her job at the BBC, "I am, by most definitions...

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Today, In An Effort To Stem The Dubious Tide Of Climate Change

Funny story: Today, In An Effort To Stem The Dubious Tide Of Climate Change

President Obama sent two B52 bombers over some tiny little islands near China and dropped some bombs. The nuclear winter they are expected to produce should last approximately 50 years. You can go back to fossil fuels now. No one should feel guil...

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Secret Agent, 'won't remove tea towel.'

Funny story: Secret Agent, 'won't remove tea towel.'

A secret agent has been caught spying within the NSA, but won't remove his tea towel. Claim experts. 'We're going to have to interrogate him. I mean we were going to anyway...but yea.' A Military official. 'At this stage we're pretty sure th...

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British Cities To Be Protected By Barrage Balloons Again!

David Cameron has announced a return of barrage balloons to protect the people of Britain's cities from the latest terrorist threat - model aircraft bombs. The balloons, already ordered from China should begin to arrive in Britain within the next few...

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Spanish vibrator bombs a huge anticlimax

Funny story: Spanish vibrator bombs a huge anticlimax

Pamplona, Spain - The latest terror must-haves are a bit of a damp squib a Spanish anarchy group admitted today after a number of explosive vibrators failed the 'earth moved' test. Half a dozen home-made weed killer devices powered by pay-as-you-b...

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Authorities Release Boston Bomber Profile: Urge Public Assistance

Funny story: Authorities Release Boston Bomber Profile: Urge Public Assistance

MIAMI-April 17, 2013- Authorities have released new information regarding Monday's Boston Marathon Bomber and are urging the public to assist in his apprehension. The Bomber is thought to be responsible for Monday's terrifying terror attack that left...

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The Astounding African Bomb Elephant

Funny story: The Astounding African Bomb Elephant

TARZANVILLE, Lower Zamgola - The African countries of Lower Zamgola and Buffaranda have been waring against each other since September of 2002. Geographic experts state that the friction between the two neighboring countries first started after a...

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Pilot Refuses to Land Plane after Receiving Bomb Threat

Funny story: Pilot Refuses to Land Plane after Receiving Bomb Threat

Airline Pilot Peter Paranoid has simply refused to land his Bombastic Airlines plane at the Newark, New Jersey Airport as ordered after authorities received a threat there was a bomb aboard the plane. "Not Again! Oh my God! Not fucking again!"...

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Need to detonate a bomb? There's an app for that

Funny story: Need to detonate a bomb? There's an app for that

Syrian App company, Kaboom, have launched their first, and possibly last applelet, for the iPhone: uXB. "A lot of people don't realise," said App World! editor Mac Buck, "that using a mobile phone to detonate a bomb is much harder than they make i...

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Olympic Opening Ceremony Theme Change Following German Boycott Threat!

Funny story: Olympic Opening Ceremony Theme Change Following German Boycott Threat!

The German government has threatened to boycott the London 2012 Olympic Games unless the theme for the opening ceremony is changed. Britain's Prime Minister David Cameron had to be told of the surprise theme being prepared for spectators after he'd m...

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'Pot-noodle bomb threat' spoofs M6 toll road cops

Funny story: 'Pot-noodle bomb threat' spoofs M6 toll road cops

Lichfield, Staffs - Armed anti-terror cops swooped on a motorway coach this morning following reports of noxious fumes wafting from a passenger's luggage. An emergency 999 call from a London-bound Megabus claimed someone had 'poured hot water into...

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English Professor Threatens BBC Over "Them"

Funny story: English Professor Threatens BBC Over "Them"

Professor Finn L. Straw is threatening to blow up one of the BBC's broadcasting masts if his demands are not met. The drama began last night as this publication went to press. His protest concerns the use of the word "them" instead of "those" and the...

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Embarrassing Ailments...The UXB

Funny story: Embarrassing Ailments...The UXB

Our first story this month is very unusual indeed. Great Granddad Benjamin Down came to us with his embarrassing ailment. Ben tells his story. "I was in the garden, 1944 it was. Digging for England it was called; we all did our bit in those days. Anyway, it was wash day and my Ida had put my smalls in to soak so, naturally I was as naked as Mrs Sharpe from Number 13 when the GI's were in town.

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Jabba the Trump

I find when I watch cable news in the morning, I much prefer watching Donald Trump talk with the volume off. Imagine an orange Jabba the Hutt as a talentless mime.
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