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Football Gossip & comments 18th August 2012

Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 18th August 2012

Toulouse defender Cheikh M'Bengue, 24, has revealed he is wanted by Arsenal. (Daily Star) Shake yar money to Cheik M'Bengue, Arsenal - theirs noting toulouse! Meanwhile, the Craven Cottage club have rejected a 'very low' bid from Manchester United for midfielder Moussa Dembele, 25. (TalkSPORT) A spokesman for United explained the 'low' offer. "It's al down to the share price imn New York do...

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Bolton To Do A Blackburn On Man United Says Funnyman Peter Kay

Funny story: Bolton To Do A Blackburn On Man United Says Funnyman Peter Kay

Anything Blackburn can do, Bolton can do better, at least according to roly-poly Bolton funnyman Peter Kay - who reckons that not only will Bolton beat Man United at Old Trafford, but that they'll win by a wider margin than Rovers 3-2 Kay, who by...

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QPR loss leaves Bernie Ecclestone a bit short

Funny story: QPR loss leaves Bernie Ecclestone a bit short

QPR's strategic 4-0 home defeat to a poor Bolton team has left penny pinching QPR owner Bernie Ecclestone feeling hard done by. Billionaire Bernie's hopes of trousering 100million quid by flogging QPR to Lotus owning Tony Fernandes have been dimi...

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QPR fans charged 20p to take a leak

Funny story: QPR fans charged 20p to take a leak

Long suffering QPR fans are being charged 20p by their billionaire owners to spend a penny in the newly refurbished toilets. Supporters flooded into the ground ahead of the opening Premier League fixture against Bolton yesterday but were shocked t...

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Blackpool And Bolton Recreate 1953 FA Cup Final

Funny story: Blackpool And Bolton Recreate 1953 FA Cup Final

In what turned out to be a scintillating game of Premier League football - one of the finest ever to grace the top flight - Blackpool and Bolton Wanderers recreated their 1953 FA Cup Final match, with the Seasiders running out 4-3 winners. Blackpp...

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Man Utd "Down To Bare Bones" - Bobby Charlton Returns?

Funny story: Man Utd "Down To Bare Bones" - Bobby Charlton Returns?

Manchester United face the prospect of taking on Bolton Wanderers at Old Trafford this afternoon with a bunch of unknowns - except for one famous face: Bobby Charlton. The Red Devils will be without at least 11 injured players and are having diffi...

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England Rumpus As Montenegro Complain To FIFA Over Kevin Davies Selection

Funny story: England Rumpus As Montenegro Complain To FIFA Over Kevin Davies Selection

England boss Fabio Capello is under investigation this morning, after world football's governing body FIFA asked him to explain his actions in calling-up uncapped Bolton Wanderers bull-in-a-china-shop striker Kevin Davies for his Euro 2012 squad to f...

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Owen Coyle Moved To Get Closer To Comedy Idol

Funny story: Owen Coyle Moved To Get Closer To Comedy Idol

Former Burnley manager Owen Coyle today revealed the real reason behind his move from Burnley to Bolton Wanderers - He wanted to get closer to his comedy idol, Peter Kay. Coyle also revealed that he turned down a summer move to Celtic because it w...

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Kevin Nolan Goes Mental

Funny story: Kevin Nolan Goes Mental

Doctors at Bolton General Hospital have this afternoon confirmed reports that Kevin Nolan, the Bolton Wanderers midfielder and captain, has gone absolutely stark, raving bonkers. Nolan, it was announced this morning, had just joined Newcastle Unit...

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All Bolton Bingers Really Want is to Do Some Blowing

Funny story: All Bolton Bingers Really Want is to Do Some Blowing

The random acts of violence committed by British binge drinkers has been responded to by rehab, medication and rough treatment by bobbies who can't wait to get off duty anf tie one on. In the municipality of Bolton by Dreamstream there's a new sherif...

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Sam Allardyce To Make Reebok Return

Funny story: Sam Allardyce To Make Reebok Return

Sam Allardyce, the brilliantest Bolton Wanderers manager in recent history, is set for a shock return to the Reebok Stadium, after supporters besieged the club's website calling for the immediate sacking of ginger-haired failure, Gary Megson. Megs...

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Rob Styles Receives Threats Ahead Of Sunday's Tottenham v. Hull Game

Funny story: Rob Styles Receives Threats Ahead Of Sunday's Tottenham v. Hull Game

Rob Styles, the referee who, last week, awarded Manchester United a 'penalty which wasn't a penalty' has received 'many threats', some quite grave, according to police ahead of Sunday's Premier League match between Tottenham and Hull at White Hart La...

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Rob Styles Arrested After Wearing Man Utd Shirt Under His Referee Kit

Funny story: Rob Styles Arrested After Wearing Man Utd Shirt Under His Referee Kit

Football referee Rob Styles, who was the match official at yesterday's game at Old Trafford between Manchester United and Bolton Wanderers, was arrested by police last night after he was found to be wearing a red Man Utd shirt under his referee kit.

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Hull City Wanderers refute 'new Bolton' rumours

Funny story: Hull City Wanderers refute 'new Bolton' rumours

Premiership new boys Hull City Wanderers, led by ex Bolton wing wizard Phil Brown were today said to be trying to play down rumours suggesting they could be the new Bolton.

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Hull City To Become The 'New Bolton Wanderers'

Funny story: Hull City To Become The 'New Bolton Wanderers'

Experts claim Premiership newboys Hull City are the 'new Bolton Wanderers' and bear all the hallmarks of the Trotters, being physical, gritty, resilient, and prone to booting the ball forward rather than pass...

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David Beckham scraps L.A deal and is on his way to Bolton!

Funny story: David Beckham scraps L.A deal and is on his way to Bolton!

David Beckham is not going to L.A galaxy! In an exclusive interview with TheSpoof.com, Becks' agent told us he will instead be going to Bolton Wanderers FC, that the contract has been signed and every thing is in place.

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Sam Allardyce To Be Honoured With Statue In Home Town Of Dudley

Funny story: Sam Allardyce To Be Honoured With Statue In Home Town Of Dudley

New Newcastle United manager Sam Allardyce is to be honoured by the Council in his Black Country home town of Dudley, with a statue of himself in the town's shoddy Market Square. The structure made, like Sam, from granite, will be reminiscent of t...

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Allardyce Sends Out For A Dictionary

Funny story: Allardyce Sends Out For A Dictionary

Sam Allardyce, the former Bolton Wanderers manager, was yesterday unveiled as the new boss at Newcastle United, who have been perennial under-achievers. Big Sam, as he is known, goes to St James Park...

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Jabba the Trump

I find when I watch cable news in the morning, I much prefer watching Donald Trump talk with the volume off. Imagine an orange Jabba the Hutt as a talentless mime.
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