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Funny story: Blackpool erect customs points

Blackpool erect customs points

Blackpool, the ageless seaside town, has erected customs booths on all the roads into the town. "There are three major routes into the town," said Blackpool Community Chairperson, Tony Blackburn. "At each of these points, we are putting booths to...
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Funny story: Cross dressers' hotel saved from closure by The Hotel Inspector

Cross dressers' hotel saved from closure by The Hotel Inspector

Spangles Hotel in Blackpool has been saved from closure by Channel 5's The Hotel Inspector, when only five people visited in the first year of operation. "We thought that there was a market for a cross dressing friendly hotel," said proprietor, an...
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Funny story: Whale gas could heat homes in two years

Whale gas could heat homes in two years

Britain's poorest homes could be using whale gas extracted by brave fisherman within two years. The technique, which has been blamed for causing minor tsunami, earthquakes and blow-backs around Blackpool, remains controversial. The biggest whal...
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Funny story: Residents Getting Fracked Off

Residents Getting Fracked Off

Shale gas extraction through fracking has caused a lot of concern for residents in areas where drilling for shale gas has been given the go-ahead. Freckleton, a village on The Fylde near Preston in Lancashire has been the latest victim of Cuadrill...
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Funny story: Who stole Blackpool tower?

Who stole Blackpool tower?

Liverpool, UK. In emerging news here, authorities have awoken this foggy morning to discover that the famous Blackpool Tower, designed in the form of Paris' Eiffel Tower, has been stolen and cannot be located. Police are amazed that such a massive...
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Funny story: Cups and Rubbers - Lytham Pen Thief strikes again

Cups and Rubbers - Lytham Pen Thief strikes again

Police had hoped that the Pen Thief of Lytham St Annes had gone quiet, with no activity on the pen front in several years; however, it now looks like he has started again, this time on memorial mugs and erasers. "Several years ago," said Jenn Darm...
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Funny story: Higgs Boson Not Quite As Reported

Higgs Boson Not Quite As Reported

Physicists recently made headlines by announcing their discovery of the Higgs boson-the long sought-after, so-called "God Particle." The God Particle would explain pretty much everything in the universe. Or so the media report. According to reputable...
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Funny story: Blackpool wants to be in a different time zone to the rest of the UK

Blackpool wants to be in a different time zone to the rest of the UK

Blackpool, the lit up, gaudy armpit of Britain, has asked to be put on a different time zone to the rest of the UK. "We're not talking about an hour or two," said Chief of Public Interaction, Services and Scaffolding, Robert Cardigan. "We want to...
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Funny story: Blackpool not among England and Wales's clean beaches

Blackpool not among England and Wales's clean beaches

A RECORD nine out of 10 English and Welsh beaches meet new EU standards for water quality - but ­Blackpool's are not among them. The resort's central and south beaches failed to match basic cleanliness standards, as did those at Llandudno in C...
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Funny story: Major gas find under Blackpool 'is Zyklon-B' - reports

Major gas find under Blackpool 'is Zyklon-B' - reports

Lancashire - A right frickin' fracking mess has developed as energy industry midgets Wannabe Oil N Gas announced today the discovery of Europe's biggest subterranean gas field. Company's optimism that 200 trillion cubic feet of shale gas is just w...
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Funny story: Charlie Adam Set For Shock Move To Wigan - Snubs Liverpool

Charlie Adam Set For Shock Move To Wigan - Snubs Liverpool

Sources close to Blackpool playmaker and Liverpool transfer target, Charlie Adam, are indicating that the Scot will reject overtures from Anfield, and move to Wigan instead. It is thought that Wigan is closer to Adam's home and therefore a more lo...
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Funny story: Bull Elephant Stranded On Blackpool Beach

Bull Elephant Stranded On Blackpool Beach

Holidaymakers - mainly women, who tend not to cope with such events very well - at Blackpool were left in a state of shock yesterday when an African bull elephant became stranded on the beach, having been washed up by the incoming tide. Most men p...
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Funny story: Bankers fear Battersea Power Station is sinking

Bankers fear Battersea Power Station is sinking

London - A bloody great big hole has appeared in the Battersea business plan sinking fund. For decades cracks in the Power Station's ownership documents had been dismissed as investor paranoia. Now work on legal papers for the proposed Thames S...
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Funny story: Royal Honeymoon Destination Revealed... A B&B In Blackpool!

Royal Honeymoon Destination Revealed... A B&B In Blackpool!

Well would you believe it? Prince William and Kate Middleton's honeymoon destination can be revealed this afternoon; and in keeping with the 'common touch' so evident in the multi-million pound lavish ceremony of pomp and pageantry held at Westminste...
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Funny story: Travel Guide: Blackpool

Travel Guide: Blackpool

The Las Vegas of the North. A Mecca for bingo players the length and breadth of the nation. There are many descriptions of this section of the English coastline, but none come close to the actuality that is Blackpool. On the face of it, this Victorian seaside resort has everything. During the summer months, there is a mile of golden sandy beach, a fairground to rival the theme parks, more touri...
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Funny story: Blackpool Tower to be Moved to London

Blackpool Tower to be Moved to London

The Blackpool Tower is to be moved to London today because London is a bit warmer than it is in Blackpool. There has not been a summer in Blackpool for years now,long hot sunny days are a thing of the past as Global Freezing continues to bite. Whi...
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Funny story: Robert Pattinson 'Fled' USA To Arrange Blackpool Wedding

Robert Pattinson 'Fled' USA To Arrange Blackpool Wedding

According to our sources, reports of Robert Pattinson fleeing the USA after some terrible row with love interest Kristen Stewart are terribly misguided. We were told that Rob was in a hurry to depart the USA simply because he was hurrying to Black...
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Funny story: Alan Carr Turns 'Em On In Blackpool

Alan Carr Turns 'Em On In Blackpool

The famous Blackpool Illuminations, six miles of multi-coloured light bulbs which annually manage to somehow entice thousands of unemployed Mancunians to the run-down north-western shanty town, have this year been switched on by comic and chat show h...
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Breaking News...

Bill Clinton: U. S. can't win ground war vs. Iraq

Bill Clinton insists the U. S. armed forces cannot win a land war against Iraq "or any other country, no matter how many booties are on the ground, because there are too many gays in the military."

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