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Funny satire stories about Black Friday

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New Thanksgiving Holiday Of 'Gratitude' Started For Those Who Must Work On The Real Thanksgiving.

Funny story: New Thanksgiving Holiday Of 'Gratitude' Started For Those Who Must Work On The Real Thanksgiving.

In response to the overwhelming growth of Black Friday and its exploitation of the employees who must work in the service industry labor unions, families, certain compassionate government leaders and religious figures have petitioned and won governme...

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Black Friday - The Evil American Plot To Destroy Britain Is A Success!

Funny story: Black Friday - The Evil American Plot To Destroy Britain Is A Success!

Friday, November 28th 2014 will reign as a black day in British history, black not only for the dark deeds done on that day but also for the foul American import that caused them - BLACK FRIDAY! Long accustomed to importing all new things American...

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Florida Man Looking For Family To Celebrate Black Friday

Funny story: Florida Man Looking For Family To Celebrate Black Friday

Florida man Gerry Jackson is desperately searching for a family he can celebrate the upcoming Black Friday holiday with, determined this year not to spend it alone. "For the past few years I have really not done much to celebrate Black Friday," ex...

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Psychologists Worried About Growth Of 'Post Black Friday Buying Syndrome'- In Other Words- Christmas Shopping Madness!

Funny story: Psychologists Worried About Growth Of 'Post Black Friday Buying Syndrome'- In Other Words- Christmas Shopping Madness!

Mental authorities are warning of the expansion of a relatively new psychic dysfunction they have named PBFBS- Post Black Friday Buying Syndrome. It is the description given when the shopping instinct that many have developed in many countries contin...

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Walmart To Drop The Name Black Friday

Funny story: Walmart To Drop The Name Black Friday

BENTONVILLE, Arkansas - After yet another Black Friday shopping fiasco where people were shoved, pushed, and attacked, the world's largest retail chain has issued a statement. A Walmart representative stated to the news media that although the vas...

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Some Black Friday Shoppers Don't Pussy Foot Around

Funny story: Some Black Friday Shoppers Don't Pussy Foot Around

NEW YORK CITY - An NYPD policeman said that he has been a police officer for 14 years. Officer Dwayne Peckashevski, 39, said that he has been working security on Black Friday at various department stores for the past 10 years and he has never seen...

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Rev. Sharpdon Opposes The Use Of The Term 'Black Friday'

Funny story: Rev. Sharpdon Opposes The Use Of The Term 'Black Friday'

WASHINGTON DC - America is once again taking sides in the latest wave of the politically correct maelstrom. "I vehemently and catagorically oppose the use of the the word 'Black' in the term 'Black Friday' used to descibe a major shopping day,...

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NYC's Sidewalk Santa Parade Canceled after 100 Years

Funny story: NYC's Sidewalk Santa Parade Canceled after 100 Years

New York, NY - For a century, New York's Sidewalk Santas have marched on Fifth Avenue on the morning after Thanksgiving collecting donations from Black Friday shoppers. Now they're calling it quits. "There's just not as much money in it anymor...

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Thanksgiving Found Battered and Beaten In Back Alley. Police Clueless.

Funny story: Thanksgiving Found Battered and Beaten In Back Alley. Police Clueless.

The holiday of Thanksgiving was found badly beaten in a back alley today. The holiday, which has been waning in power and influence in the last decade, is now virtually homeless and forgotten as it has been minimized by the more commercial, and there...

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Shia LeBeouf Makes Cameo in 'Black Friday IV' Trailer

Funny story: Shia LeBeouf Makes Cameo in 'Black Friday IV' Trailer

Shia LeBeouf plays a sexy, sharpshooting stranger in the new live-action trailer for "Black Friday IV," due out Nov. 7 for playstations and xboxes. The minute-long trailer, set in the post-Thanksgiving Day ruins of a large retail outlet, features...

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17 States Ban Black Friday

Funny story: 17 States Ban Black Friday

CHICAGO - The Committee Overseeing Shoppers Actions, known as COSA, has just issued a press release which will pertain to Black Friday, starting in 2013. Anastasia "Salsa" Lightmiggle 42, national director of COSA, stated that due to the ever-grow...

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Walmart's Grey Thursday Takes The 'Thanksgiving' Out Of Thanksgiving

Funny story: Walmart's Grey Thursday Takes The 'Thanksgiving' Out Of Thanksgiving

The intense focus on post Thanksgiving retail selling initiated by Black Friday has now been one-upped by Walmart's new play of starting specials on Thanksgiving night, thus luring people out of their homes on a major family holiday. It also forces W...

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The Attorney For The Department Store 'Black Friday Pepper Sprayer' States That Her Can of Pepper Spray Just Went Off Accidentally

Funny story: The Attorney For The Department Store 'Black Friday Pepper Sprayer' States That Her Can of Pepper Spray Just Went Off Accidentally

PORTER RANCH, California - Mikey Champ is the attorney representing the infamous Black Friday Pepper Sprayer who has now been identified by the entire U.S. news media as Elizabeth "Lizzy" Macias, 32. Macias, who describes herself as a devoted shop...

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The Porter Ranch, California Police Have Released The Black Friday Pepper Sprayer!

Funny story: The Porter Ranch, California Police Have Released The Black Friday Pepper Sprayer!

PORTER RANCH, California - Police in the San Fernando Valley town of Porter Ranch have released the infamous Black Friday Pepper Sprayer and are still trying to figure out if they should file charges against her. What? According to Fuchsia Garfunk...

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California's Black Friday Pepper Sprayer Who Sprayed 20 Customers Has Been Captured

Funny story: California's Black Friday Pepper Sprayer Who Sprayed 20 Customers Has Been Captured

PORTER RANCH, California - Porter Ranch, the town in the San Fernando Valley resembled 1880s Tombstone, Arizona, more than it did a modern day California city on Black Friday. The Porter Ranch Police Department received calls that a crazy shopper...

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Black Friday 2 hits shelves, 3D compatible with PS3

Funny story: Black Friday 2 hits shelves, 3D compatible with PS3

Warring Bros. has released Black Friday 2 for the PlayerStation 3 and Xboxer 360 game consoles. The game offers several new gameplay features including Pepper Spray, 4 Player Tag-Team, Blue Light Challenge Mode, and King of the Clearance Rack. Bla...

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The True Spirit of Christmas: Pepper Spray!

Funny story: The True Spirit of Christmas: Pepper Spray!

The annual War on Christmas has already taken its toll this year, with atheist billboards going up next to highways across the country, shocking the sensibilities of Christians on their way to Wal-Mart. But some Christians have found a way to fight b...

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Black Friday Bowel Movement Called Legendary

Funny story: Black Friday Bowel Movement Called Legendary

Supermart shoppers were treated to some fantastic bargains this Black Friday, but they never expected to be around greatness. Hank Newburg was with his wife and admits to overeating on the Thanksgiving holiday. "I ate so much turkey and stuffin...

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