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Funny satire stories about Birmingham

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Funny story: "Understanding" Commuters tell train driver not to apologise about delays

"Understanding" Commuters tell train driver not to apologise about delays

Train driver Mohammad O'Toole expressed his relief today and praised the commuters on the 8.13am to Birmingham New Street train for being so understanding after he announced delays would mean they would get in 30 minutes late to their destination.
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Funny story: Birmingham City Council's computerised phone system goes into 'meltdown'!

Birmingham City Council's computerised phone system goes into 'meltdown'!

Brum, Land of the Brummies: Exasperated Brummies have been left with long waits and repeatedly been transferred to wrong Departments because the strong Brummie accent has baffled the voice recognition software. The Brummie twang causes the machin...
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Funny story: High Speed rail link hits its first problem

High Speed rail link hits its first problem

The proposed high speed rail link between London and Manchester, with the shortest possible stay in Birmingham as is technically feasible, has been given the green light to be built, despite opposition. However, protesters against the new rail lin...
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Funny story: Hideous over-embellished outfit and manic hair-flicking as Kate Middleton 'comforts' traumatised Brum

Hideous over-embellished outfit and manic hair-flicking as Kate Middleton 'comforts' traumatised Brum

Birmingham - The latest rash of Palace riot tourism hit Birmingham today with the arrival of royal eyesores William and Kate. Bewildered locals were subjected to an hour of Middleton's relentless hair-flicking as the grief-gawping walkabout procee...
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Funny story: Villa fans urge Premier League inquiry into McLeish tapping up

Villa fans urge Premier League inquiry into McLeish tapping up

Aston Villa fans have made a complaint to the Premier League pleading for an immediate 'employment threatening' investigation into their clubs apparent rule breach after reportedly tapping up former Birmingham manager, Alex McLeish. The Premier Le...
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Funny story: British beggars go on the rampage and threaten to strike

British beggars go on the rampage and threaten to strike

In a hastily drawn-up statement written on the back of an old copy of the Big Issue, the BABS (British Association of Beggars and Scroungers) announced that it could no longer take responsibility for its members actions. Earlier this morning, a gr...
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Funny story: Osama Bin-Laden Posthumously Attacks Major City

Osama Bin-Laden Posthumously Attacks Major City

BIRMINGHAM, ENG. - After reports that the United States has killed Bin-Laden, many thought that the Taliban and Al-Qauda would fall. However, they were mistaken. Just a few hours ago, three separate bombs exploded in the British city of Birming...
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Funny story: Spoofer Forced to Live in Chaverty for a Day

Spoofer Forced to Live in Chaverty for a Day

BIRMINGHAM - Spoofer Inhopeless was captured by a rogue gang of chavs today, and was forced to live with them. "Oh," he said. "MY GOD! I was away from my fricking mother! That sucks!" He said that experience was harrowing. "After two hours,...
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Funny story: The Politics of Race - A True Story

The Politics of Race - A True Story

Living in Britain as an ethnic minority (guess which one), it's kinda... well you know how. Luckily, for most of my life, I have not been on the receiving end of some treatment, but nonetheless, it is shocking to see something like this happen. Hell, it happened right on my lawn. This is a conversation between a Liberal Democrat candidate, me, and my mother. A backnote: He was canvassing fo...
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Funny story: Spoofers Arrested Over Slaying With Humour

Spoofers Arrested Over Slaying With Humour

BIRMINGHAM - After a long flight Lady Godiva got down from the plane, and met her friend Inhopeless. After a short drive, both went into the city centre and into the Birmingham Rep Theatre. Not suspicious you say? Two hours later the two Spo...
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Funny story: Nation in Shock as Teenager Helps

Nation in Shock as Teenager Helps

BIRMINGHAM - A teenager - those evil youths - was found to be helping within his community today. Rob Smith, 15, who is a teenager, and therefore a baby-eating monster - was helping an old lady across the road. "He came up to me," recalled Dais...
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Funny story: Birmingham bans Meerkat Carpets...and also Meerkat Kebabs.

Birmingham bans Meerkat Carpets...and also Meerkat Kebabs.

Birmingham City Council have tonight issued a statement saying that they are banning the sale of Meerkat Carpets. They say it is an outrage that the wool of the furry little creatures has been used in such a way. They also said they will be ban...
View 'Birmingham bans Meerkat Carpets...and also Meerkat Kebabs.'
Funny story: Alabama Governor Waits Almost Twenty Minutes Before Offending Entire State.

Alabama Governor Waits Almost Twenty Minutes Before Offending Entire State.

Alabama Governor Robert J. Bentley waited nearly half-an-hour after being sworn in to office before delivering a speech that alienated the entire state. "Anybody here today who has not accepted Jesus Christ as their savior, I'm telling you, you're...
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Funny story: 'Biblical Floods' in Australia, but Great Britain is 'drowning' in 'Biblical Rubbish'!

'Biblical Floods' in Australia, but Great Britain is 'drowning' in 'Biblical Rubbish'!

Rubbish Tip Island, off the North Coast of the EU$$R: England may have retained the Ashes in Cricket in Australia where there have been 'Biblical floods', but Great Britain is 'drowning' in 'Biblical Rubbish! All over the British Isles in gardens...
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Funny story: UK Media Moguls Move Base to Birmingham

UK Media Moguls Move Base to Birmingham

BIRMINGHAM & LONDON - In a surprising move today, the BBC and Rupert Murdoch's News Corp. will move their base of operation to the city of Birmingham. Many other media outlets, such as ITV and EMI Music will also move. "We're sick of London...
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Funny story: 'Honking Horns, Shouting at Others, Revving Engines Will Make Traffic Move a Hell Load Faster' says Transport Secretary

'Honking Horns, Shouting at Others, Revving Engines Will Make Traffic Move a Hell Load Faster' says Transport Secretary

BIRMINGHAM - A new Ministry of Transport report confirms what everbody has been doing since the 1960s. Honking horns, shouting profanities at other drivers, revving engines do move traffic along faster. The report analysed over 250 miles of motorw...
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Funny story: Birmingham Muslims ban CCTV because "The Great One" feels he's being spied upon!

Birmingham Muslims ban CCTV because "The Great One" feels he's being spied upon!

Certain areas of Birmingham, UK, with majorities of Muslim inhabitants, have decided to ban CCTV cameras because they feel it is an infringement on their privacy and "The Great One" doesn't want to be spied on! Now as we know Birmingham is actuall...
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Funny story: London, Birmingham and Manchester Are Two Cities - BBC

London, Birmingham and Manchester Are Two Cities - BBC

According to the latest BBC report, London, Birmingham and Manchester constitute 'two cities', not, as is commonly thought, three. The news came during an article on the BBC's website about the US singer Chris Brown, who had been refused a visa to...
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Breaking News...

Obama to deploy 3,000 doctors to combat ISIL

The United States announced on Tuesday it will send 3,000 doctors to help combat the Islamic terrorist group, ISIL, as part of a ramped-up plan, including a major deployment in Syria.

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