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Funny story: 'Ban the birds' cry Central Park advocates

'Ban the birds' cry Central Park advocates

New York -- Now that the carriage horses are on the run, activists are taking aim on another group of animals that need to be rescued from Central Park. A study by the nonexistent grassroots group Animal Advocates has found that the privacy right...
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Funny story: Aviary Experts Are Predicting That Within 2 Weeks Every Bird Will Have Left Yellowstone National Park

Aviary Experts Are Predicting That Within 2 Weeks Every Bird Will Have Left Yellowstone National Park

CHEYENNE, Wyoming - First it was the buffaloes stampeding out of Yellowstone National Park and heading south towards Colorado. Then there were reports that woodchucks were hurriedly scampering north to Montana. Yellowstone National Park rangers...
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Funny story: Duck Dynasty Into Fight With PETA Now?

Duck Dynasty Into Fight With PETA Now?

Phil Robertson the head of the Duck Dynasty has announced that the family have come up with a new call that draws blackbirds to the area. Why would anyone want a blackbird caller? "I tell you the truth, we have sold thousands already and we are...
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Funny story: Every Bird In New York City Has Gone South To Florida and They'll Probably Never Ever Come Back

Every Bird In New York City Has Gone South To Florida and They'll Probably Never Ever Come Back

NEW YORK CITY - One of the nation's top experts on birds and their migratory habits has just stated that the birds are having hell with the harsh-as-hell winter. Dr. Hamlet Chimney of Harvard held a news conference in Central Park and told joggers...
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Funny story: Car Dealer Sues Rival Dealership For Massive Bird Crap!

Car Dealer Sues Rival Dealership For Massive Bird Crap!

A car dealership in Maryville, Tennessee is suing a rival car dealer for $500,000 in lost income and auto damage as well as causing the workers there to risk their lives by working and the clean-up details. Hardin's GMC and Hyundai Auto Dealership...
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Funny story: Nature Notes: new crater reported in Somerset

Nature Notes: new crater reported in Somerset

Birds everywhere are reacting angrily to the ineptitude of humans after a bid to drain the Somerset Levels by dropping Eric Pickles from a great height failed dramatically, causing what many initially believed to be an 'extinction event'. Fortunat...
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Funny story: U.S. Facing New Mutated Chicken Flu As Over 100 NY-California Cases Already!

U.S. Facing New Mutated Chicken Flu As Over 100 NY-California Cases Already!

The good old Department of Health, Education and Welfare has been delaying news we could have used earlier but, as always, they "didn't want to start a panic". Well, better a panic than catching a mutating flu that fights off antibiotics. Although...
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Funny story: That Budgie of Mine

That Budgie of Mine

That Budgie Harold of mine, forever drinking and all the time. A squirt of whisky, a glug of Guinness it's surprise at all he's still here with us. There he go a shouhy loud at regulare passer-by, shouby in the morning tide this budgie who imbibe. But what else for a bird who sing and squawk and scream, we hang him by the lamppost bright and watch him gently dream. God Harold, noddy...
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Funny story: Busted! Twitter Birdies Accused of Insider Trading

Busted! Twitter Birdies Accused of Insider Trading

Three twitter birdies are accused of making a bundle by breaking the law. As Twitter plans its first public offering of stock, the three birds are accused of tweeting inside financial information to a few traders willing to pay for it. Law enfo...
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Funny story: Twitter Birdies Channel Elvis As They Twerk Instead of Tweet

Twitter Birdies Channel Elvis As They Twerk Instead of Tweet

Having problems lately with timely delivery of your tweets? You're not alone. Gail Farrelly, a science & technology reporter at TheSpoof.com, has found out that the Twitter birdies, wanting to thumb their beaks at management for labor compl...
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Funny story: Man Who Went to Hypnotist to Lose Weight Instead Develops Owl Fetish

Man Who Went to Hypnotist to Lose Weight Instead Develops Owl Fetish

Ficktor Grunsch claims he's tried more than 100 diets to lose weight without success, and decided to try hypnosis after reading about the success others have had with the procedure. A month after being hypnotized, however, Grunsch said that not on...
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Funny story: The Biggest Mosquito In The World

The Biggest Mosquito In The World

THIBODAUX, Louisiana - A Louisiana game warden, John Claude Du Croissant has reported finding a ginormous mosquito in a bayou just outside of the town of Thibodaux. The town of Thibodaux is noted for having the best crawfish étouffée in the entire...
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Funny story: The Amazon Rainforest To Be Completely Paved Over

The Amazon Rainforest To Be Completely Paved Over

RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil - A League made up of nine South American countries, who share in the Amazon Rainforest, has decided to act on a very important issue facing the area. Alejandro Alfredo Chimichanga, who is the President of the nine nation gr...
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Funny story: US Government Might Turn Over Air Traffic Control to Bird Watchers

US Government Might Turn Over Air Traffic Control to Bird Watchers

If the mandatory budget cuts known as sequestration go into effect in a few days, the Federal Aviation Administration says it will have no choice but to turn over air traffic control services to bird watchers. "I think it'll work out great," sai...
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Funny story: Costco Rotisserie Chicken Replaces Bald Eagle as National Bird

Costco Rotisserie Chicken Replaces Bald Eagle as National Bird

The bald eagle has been the national bird of the US since 1782, but it will soon lose that official designation to the Costco rotisserie chicken. The National Board of Official Designated Stuff (NBODS) announced their decision to replace the eag...
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Funny story: A Couple of Dog Gone Hunting Stories

A Couple of Dog Gone Hunting Stories

BURNT CORN, Alabama - A few weeks ago Hampton "Bubba" Settingset, 59, was bird hunting with his bird dog Larry on a 40 acre patch of land on his Burnt Corn farm. After about two hours of walking around Settingset decided to take a little break. He carefully laid his rifle up against a tree. Larry, suddenly saw a flock of birds appear in the autumn sky and he started barking and jumping up a...
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Funny story: My life as a man #18

My life as a man #18

Love/Hate relationships I have mixed feelings about my feathered "friends." On the one hand, I spend over a thousand dollars a year on feeding, housing, and bathing songbirds, hummers, owls, hawks, waders, and, yes, vultures too. I love watching birds throughout the year. Not only has my knowledge grown to the point where I can identify them by breed, but truly, I know some of them, indi...
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Funny story: My life as a man #15

My life as a man #15

It's gonna be a crap day! I don't know about you, but I can tell, from the get-go, what kind of day it's going to be as soon as I wake up. If I wake up hearing the birds happily chirping their hearts out and I want to get up and rip their tiny asshole hearts out, it's going to be a shitty day. If I wake up and hear the birds happily chirping their hearts out and I want to go out and fee...
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