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Funny satire stories about Bird Flu

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Funny story:  U.S. Facing New Mutated Chicken Flu As Over 100 NY-California Cases Already!

U.S. Facing New Mutated Chicken Flu As Over 100 NY-California Cases Already!

The good old Department of Health, Education and Welfare has been delaying news we could have used earlier but, as always, they "didn't want to start a panic". Well, better a panic than catching a mutating flu that fights off antibiotics. Although...
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Funny story:  Study Finds That Germs Are A Haven For Other Germs

Study Finds That Germs Are A Haven For Other Germs

(Health Anxiety Quarterly) - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recently announced a chilling new finding, revealing that germs themselves are some of the dirtiest organisms on our planet. Lead [pronounced leed] researcher, Dr. Hai Po-...
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Funny story:  Chickens genetically bred that are totally resistant to bird flu!

Chickens genetically bred that are totally resistant to bird flu!

It was revealed today, that scientists have developed a way of curbing the spread of avian flu with the help of genetically modified chickens that do not spread the virus. The chickens have an extra piece of DNA inserted into their genomes which p...
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Funny story:  Swan Flu Hits Zoo

Swan Flu Hits Zoo

SAN DIEGO, California - Zoo officials have just announced that when zoo workers were feeding the zoo's swan population this morning they happened to notice that a lot of the swans were acting strange. It seems that the swans were sitting in the c...
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Funny story:  Special rich strain of avian flue identified

Special rich strain of avian flue identified

Scientists working on new strains of the avian flu have separated a strain that appears to be selective towards rich folk. It is called CUL8ER, and appears to incubate in the wallet. One of the genetic constituents is a silk worm, which is cert...
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Funny story:  Big Bird caught bird flu from son, Li'l Bird

Big Bird caught bird flu from son, Li'l Bird

Tests on Big Bird, recently diagnosed with bird flu in China, show he probably caught the disease from his son, Li'l Bird.
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Funny story:  No Migration

No Migration

A Councillor in a sleepy English village has claimed that both incoming and outgoing birds must be shot on sight to keep down the migrant population.
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Funny story:  Bernard Matthews To Offload Cut-Price Turkeys In Bird Flu Clearout

Bernard Matthews To Offload Cut-Price Turkeys In Bird Flu Clearout

A famous Norfolk turkey supplier, has announced plans to offload much of its stock in a lead-up-to-Christmas sell-out bonanza, with turkeys to be sold at a fraction of the price they would have been if they hadn't been infected w...
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Funny story:  HN51 Virus: Risk to Domestic Cats in Prospect

HN51 Virus: Risk to Domestic Cats in Prospect

A radical group of ornithologists, The Great-Tits Appreciation Society, today issued a communique warning of the dangers to cats posed by the HN51 Bird Flu Virus.
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Funny story:  Bird Flu Mutates

Bird Flu Mutates

Bangcock, Thighland (IP) - Scientists reported today that the bird flu has genetically mutated and is now more easily caught by humans. The effect of this new course in the history of this strange illness has the medical profession scratching their...
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Funny story:  WHO admit "Bird Flu Was A Mistake"

WHO admit "Bird Flu Was A Mistake"

The Worried Health Officials (WHO) have admitted today that the suspected lethal strain of Bird Flu (H5N1) is actually only lethal in birds.
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Funny story:  'Stone Disease' could become pandemic

'Stone Disease' could become pandemic

The first cases of a disease which causes people to turn to stone have been confirmed in Berkshire. Hospital staff have so far refused to comment on how the four victims may have contracted the disease, but it is believed to be caused by a mutated fo...
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Funny story:  Rumsfeld Investigated in Bird Flu Scam

Rumsfeld Investigated in Bird Flu Scam

Washington D.C. (IP) - Former Secretary of Offense Donald De Rumsfelt is being investigated for his role in a world wide scam designed to make billions of dollars in profits based on a phony bird flu scam. Washington DC Special Prosecutor Poindexte...
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Funny story:  Bird Flu Gone the way of the Dodo

Bird Flu Gone the way of the Dodo

Atlanta, GA (IP) - Spoof sources at the Center for Disease Control indicate that the CDC is throwing a big party this week. It is a goodbye party for our old friend the bird flu...
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Funny story:  Sheep 'Flu Epidemic Is Sweeping The Welsh Valleys

Sheep 'Flu Epidemic Is Sweeping The Welsh Valleys

A recent outbreak in Wales of, what was thought to be H5N1 Bird 'Flu, has, in fact, turned out to be rather less sinister, and has mystified Health officials in the area.
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Funny story:  Clover margarine pulled amid bird flu fears

Clover margarine pulled amid bird flu fears

Telford, Shropshire - (Ass Mess): The Dairy Crest Food (sic) Company has pulled over two million tubs of its slimy yellow margarine spread from supermarket shelves after fears that it is contaminated with bird flu.
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Funny story:  CEO of Avaian Accounting Inc. Accused of Counting Chickens Before They Hatch

CEO of Avaian Accounting Inc. Accused of Counting Chickens Before They Hatch

Houston - Only 5 ½ years since the collapse of Enron, and with Jeff Skilling still settling in to life in a federal prison, the largest city in Texas has been rocked by another financial scandal.
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Funny story:  Fall of Epidemic Proportions?

Fall of Epidemic Proportions?

St Louis, MO. - President Bush, increasingly concerned about a possible avian flu (bird flu) pandemic, recently revealed that a highly contagious strain of bird flu may be impossible to contain.
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