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Funny story: Bionic Woman

Bionic Woman

The Bionic Woman was created out of spare, mostly human, somewhat female body parts as a companion for Colonel Steve Austin, a lonely former astronaut-become-cyborg, after she dove headfirst into a cow patty from a height of 12,000 feet in an attempt to decorate a clover patch with her remains. Before her tragic accident, she had been a tennis player known for her wicked backhand. Rebuilt by Dr...
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Funny story: Bionic Lens Available In 10 Years

Bionic Lens Available In 10 Years

Scientists agree bionic lenses will be available in the next 10 years and commercial concerns are already queuing up to take advantage. Aside from the obvious applications the lens which fits over your eye offers: SatNav directions and assembly instructions, all beamed straight to the eye. Other ideas are now being suggested like: the one from Barnstable's 'Eye Eye Lovely' called an 'X-Ray Eye...
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Funny story: Patients to be fitted with bionic lenses showing Health Secretary lying

Patients to be fitted with bionic lenses showing Health Secretary lying

Hospital patients are to be fitted with new bionic lenses which will project images of Health Secretary Andrew Lansley telling lies on a continuous loop. The lenses, which will allow wearers to read floating lies or view computer-generated images...
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Funny story: Controversy over implant to help blind people see

Controversy over implant to help blind people see

The electronic implant which has helped blind people to see is seen by most people as a marvellous leap forward, or at least thought to be a marvellous leap forward by some who haven't had it yet, but a group of religious fanatics is threatening to d...
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Funny story: Man with first bionic arms dies in car crash

Man with first bionic arms dies in car crash

The man who was fitted with the world's first mind-controlled prosthetic arms died today, when he lost control of his car, veered off the road and crashed into a tree. Mr Gideon Handlebar lost both his arms in an agricultural accident, but was abl...
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Funny story: Bionic arm causes crash in Austria!

Bionic arm causes crash in Austria!

A bionic arm, not the driver, caused a huge crash in Austria today. The driver and owner of the bionic arm who was lucky to get out alive gave the following explanation to the Polizei: "I vanted to go left, my arm vanted to go right and ve cras...
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Funny story: Six Million Dollar Man Denied Bail Out Money

Six Million Dollar Man Denied Bail Out Money

Steve Austin, the retired astronaut and government agent who was the first man outfitted with "bionic" limbs, has been denied any "tune-up" funds in the now multi-trillion dollar bailout. In the crash of an experimental vehicle in 1974, Colonel Aust...
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Funny story: NBC to Remake The Bionic Woman

NBC to Remake The Bionic Woman

Jamie Sommers will once again run in slow motion across American television screens. NBC had announced that a new version of "The Bionic Woman" will be in their fall line-up.
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Breaking News...

Teachers sentenced for sex with students

A former female high school teacher received six months in jail for having sex with a male student, while a male teacher at the same school received a six-year sentence for bedding a coed pupil.

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