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Funny satire stories about Bernie Sanders

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Funny story: GOP Selects the Turtle as its New Mascot

GOP Selects the Turtle as its New Mascot

Washington, DC - Since 1874 the Republican Party has been symbolized by the elephant, in contrast to the Democratic Party's donkey. Yesterday the GOP announced that it will no longer use the elephant in any advertising or other campaigns. After...
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Funny story: Trump names Sanders Secretary of Education

Trump names Sanders Secretary of Education

Trump Tower, New York - Our reporter stationed outside the elevator at Trump Tower noticed a strange event Sunday night at around dinner-time. A bag of KFC was brought to the elevator lobby where the Secret Service inspected the chicken, fries and b...
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Funny story: Bernie Sanders Calls Trump a "Turdnado"

Bernie Sanders Calls Trump a "Turdnado"

Wearing his new Shit-Storm Jacket™, Bernie Sanders told a group of college students yesterday that Donald Trump is a "Turdnado." Speaking at Depauw University in Indiana, Sanders said liberals and Democrats need to get ready for the fight o...
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Funny story: Who's Unelectable Now? A Message from Bernie Sanders.

Who's Unelectable Now? A Message from Bernie Sanders.

Hi, this is Bernie Sanders. I just wanted to remind you Democrats how you didn't want me for your nominee. Sure, I might have lost. But I might have lost with some dignity and brought some integrity back to the Democratic Party. I could have brought some white men back into the party, but you didn't want that. Oh no You said, We don't need any white men in our Party, we can win just fine without t...
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Funny story: Democratic Party Liberals Praise Trump Appointees

Democratic Party Liberals Praise Trump Appointees

"We are the party of the common man," recently said Sen. Chuck Schumer, leading Democrat in the U.S. Senate. And Rep. Lois Maybee (D) of Rhode Island stated, "You can count on us to protect the civil liberties of all Americans." Rep. John Johnson (...
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Funny story: President-elect Trump to Become Honorary Scoutmaster

President-elect Trump to Become Honorary Scoutmaster

Special to TPN - Boy Scouts of America president Randall Stephenson announced that President-elect Donald Trump will become an honorary scoutmaster at the organization's National Jamboree to be held in July 2017. "Mr. Trump exemplifies all those...
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Funny story: Bernie Sanders Kills It On Colbert with His Deadpan "Endorsement" of Hillary Clinton

Bernie Sanders Kills It On Colbert with His Deadpan "Endorsement" of Hillary Clinton

In a rare foray into entertainment media, Bernie Sanders brought down the house on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert with his deadpan "endorsement" of former political rival Hillary Clinton in her campaign for the presidency. "Hillary Clinton wil...
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Funny story: Clinton Campaign Message Not to Elect a "Narcissistic Sociopath" Leaves Many Voters Confused

Clinton Campaign Message Not to Elect a "Narcissistic Sociopath" Leaves Many Voters Confused

With less than a week to go before the election, Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton stepped up the aggressiveness of her campaign messaging in an effort to ensure the defeat of Republican presidential rival Donald Trump, urging voters,...
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Funny story: Bernie Sanders Brings Down the House with His Deadpan "Endorsement" of Hillary Clinton at Democratic National Convention

Bernie Sanders Brings Down the House with His Deadpan "Endorsement" of Hillary Clinton at Democratic National Convention

Vermont senator Bernie Sanders struggled to keep a straight face at the Democratic National Convention as he reiterated his "endorsement" of former political rival Hillary Clinton in her campaign for the presidency. "Hillary Clinton will make an o...
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Funny story: The Berneesta merging with Hillary Rodham Clinton leads to gag order at the Democratic National Convention

The Berneesta merging with Hillary Rodham Clinton leads to gag order at the Democratic National Convention

Yesterday, Mr. Sanders announced his endorsement of Ms. Clinton while she stood to one side clapping her hands and nodding, as one observer put it, "ad nauseum." Directly following, officials for the upcoming Democratic National Convention in Phi...
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Funny story: Crooked Hill? Questionable Contributions to Clinton Foundation from Foreign Governments - and Bernie Sanders!

Crooked Hill? Questionable Contributions to Clinton Foundation from Foreign Governments - and Bernie Sanders!

The Clinton Foundation, which, during Hillary Rodham Clinton's tenure as secretary of state, accepted millions of dollars from such conflict-ridden, human-rights-challenged foreign governments as Kuwait, Qatar, and Algeria, has reportedly received an...
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Funny story: Sanders Supporters Begin "Occupy Walmart"--Pledge To Hold Out Indefinitely

Sanders Supporters Begin "Occupy Walmart"--Pledge To Hold Out Indefinitely

With Hillary Clinton as the presumptive nominee for the Democrats, some Bernie Sanders supporters are now executing their Occupy Walmart strategy in a last ditch effort to win Sanders the nomination. Nearly 40,000 Occupy volunteers will protest an...
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Funny story: Bernie Sanders successfully passes Kidney Stones, no longer "Feels the Burn"

Bernie Sanders successfully passes Kidney Stones, no longer "Feels the Burn"

Senator Bernie Sanders released a statement the other day saying he no longer, "Feels the Burn" after successfully passing kidney stones. Sanders admitted that while he enjoyed his supporters enthusiasm, it was ironic and painful, to here them chant,...
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Funny story: Would You Buy a Car From This Nominee?

Would You Buy a Car From This Nominee?

"Hi, I'm Bernie Sanders, you can call me Bernie. So, I've got several models here that might interest you, but first, tell me what you can afford. Thirteen thousand dollars? For a new car? I don't think so. A new all-electric vehicle would cost a lot more than that. I have a used Prius on the lot and I think I can talk my manager down to letting it go for thirteen five. But you gotta be careful wi...
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Funny story: Hillary super delegates hold news conference to dangle Mr. Butter Smooth

Hillary super delegates hold news conference to dangle Mr. Butter Smooth

Hillary Clinton's recent victories put her at 2,184 delegates, 198 short of the required 2,382 to win the nomination. Sanders has 1,804 at 578 short. That Clinton has "won the nomination" depends on the votes of her additional 571 super delegat...
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Funny story: Trump Cabinet To Be Named Shortly--Putin, Marla, among others, to be Pleased

Trump Cabinet To Be Named Shortly--Putin, Marla, among others, to be Pleased

Washington, D.C.: Sources close to presumed nominee Donald Trump state that Trump is already considering nominees for his cabinet if he wins the presidency. With presumed Chief of Staff Corey Lewandowski at the helm, Lewandowski is certain to push...
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Funny story: Hillary's Latest Trash-Talk! Clinton Equates "Feel the Bern" with Gonorrhea

Hillary's Latest Trash-Talk! Clinton Equates "Feel the Bern" with Gonorrhea

Having had little success calling into question her chief political rival's personal integrity or agenda in light of her own checkered political past, Democratic presidential contender Hillary Clinton recently resorted to some good, old-fashioned tra...
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Funny story: Canadian Ted Cruz Called Lucifer In The Flesh

Canadian Ted Cruz Called Lucifer In The Flesh

While the last best hope of stopping Donald Trump's run for the White House was defined as "Lucifer in the flesh," by former House Majority leader John Boehner, Mr. Boehner added, (as though calling him 'Lucifer in the flesh' wasn't bad enough) "He'...
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Breaking News...

Despite Celebrating Crowds, Mugabe of Zimbabwe Won't Recognize Coup

The 93-year old thinks it's his birthday again and thanks all the demonstrators.
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