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Funny story: Turkey Man Ready for Christmas

Turkey Man Ready for Christmas

Bernard Matthews, famous for his turkeys, has made the ultimate sacrifice just in time for Christmas. He should be ready in the shops in time for the great festivities. 'It will give my Christmas that extra oomph' said housewife Vera Mook 'to have...
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Funny story: Thanksgiving snaffles up Turkey tycoon Bernard Matthews

Thanksgiving snaffles up Turkey tycoon Bernard Matthews

Norfuk - (Cold Turkey Stuff): Karmic synchronicity saw the octogenarian's death on Turkey Day, aka Thanksgiving. Matthews died peacefully surrounded by his flock of Broad Breasted Bronzes, Bourbon Reds, Spanish Blacks and Midget Whites. Among...
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Funny story: Bernard Matthews Arrested on Bestiality Charge

Bernard Matthews Arrested on Bestiality Charge

Norfolk, England - Bernard Matthews appeared before magistrates this afternoon after he was arrested at his Norfolk home in a dawn raid by Police and RSPCA officers. It follows an investigation lasting several years into the origin of "Bernard Matthe...
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Funny story: Bernard Matthews To Offload Cut-Price Turkeys In Bird Flu Clearout

Bernard Matthews To Offload Cut-Price Turkeys In Bird Flu Clearout

A famous Norfolk turkey supplier, has announced plans to offload much of its stock in a lead-up-to-Christmas sell-out bonanza, with turkeys to be sold at a fraction of the price they would have been if they hadn't been infected w...
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Funny story: Millions of plastic bags recalled

Millions of plastic bags recalled

Unilever has recalled millions of refrigerator-friendly plastic food wrap bags in a shock announcement likely to cause pandemonium in the health and safety industry. A spokesman for the giant company, which makes everything in the wo...
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Funny story: Bernard Matthews off cannibals menus

Bernard Matthews off cannibals menus

The popular meal Bernard Matthews has been withdrawn from the Birds Eye Cannibal Feast range of meals after concerns that Bernards were not being kept in hygienic conditions.
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Breaking News...

Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
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