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Government Plan to Give Child Benefit to Actual Children

Funny story: Government Plan to Give Child Benefit to Actual Children

Amidst a raging debate on the benefits of not having child benefits when you are too rich to give a toss either way, leaves a devastating effect on many families on high and low income. In the wake of austere cuts to reduce the National deficit c...

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Protests grow in aftermath of Euro exit

There was fury last night when it emerged that England's entire Euro 16 squad (with the exception of Jack Wilshere) have been refused Personal Independence Payment (PIP). Manager Roy Hodgson resigned in disgust, with a close friend claiming, "Roy...

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Cameron tells jobless "Wear blindfolds in supermarkets or lose benefits."

Funny story: Cameron tells jobless "Wear blindfolds in supermarkets or lose benefits."

The Prime Minister has announced plans to introduce the wearing of blindfolds in supermarkets for all benefit claimants which will be introduced of the Tories win the next General Election in May. The new requirement will apply to anyone claiming...

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Iain Duncan Smith says that anyone healthy enough to claim benefits doesn't need benefits

Secretary of State for Work and Pensions Iain Duncan Smith has outlined a new philosophy on benefit claimants while talking to the BBC, suggesting that anyone well enough to claim benefits probably doesn't need them. Speaking of people with mental...

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Coalition Will Use Savings From Cuts To Dig Up Bodies Of Welfare Cheats

Funny story: Coalition Will Use Savings From Cuts To Dig Up Bodies Of Welfare Cheats

London. The PM 'Dave' Cameron announced that the coalition plans using savings made from denying the poor and vulnerable their basic needs to dig up the bodies of deceased welfare cheats and display them in public until "their relatives do the decent...

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Benefits Mum Michelle Taylor to 'Stop' after 36th Child!

Funny story: Benefits Mum Michelle Taylor to 'Stop' after 36th Child!

Pregnant baby machine, and NHS nightmare Michelle Taylor has vowed to go on the pill after the birth of her latest child, her 36th. Michelle 39, from Rotherham who now lives in 'Wentworth House', just outside the town, is missing her friends and f...

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Mail Exclusive - People Drawing Pensions Instead of Dying

Funny story: Mail Exclusive - People Drawing Pensions Instead of Dying

Evidence has been leaked of a report showing the records of thousands of people drawing old age pension hand outs instead of complying with State expectations to die and save taxpayers' money. A DVD containing the records of thousands of people w...

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Benefits Street, Surrey 'A Disgrace' Says Tory MP

Funny story: Benefits Street, Surrey 'A Disgrace' Says Tory MP

A statement for Tory MP Ian Duncan Rant has been issued condemning the 'indescribable bully' and 'spoof writer' JW for the 'cruel depiction of the fine residents of Surrey's Benefits Street as low life scroungers.' An early Day Motion by Rant, in...

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More value for money demanded from Royal scroungers

Funny story: More value for money demanded from Royal scroungers

In a move to bring more accountability to the Royal "non Monarchs" (or scroungers), they will be made to appear on T.V. after Premier League football managers on "Final Score" and give an account of where our hand-outs went for the previous week.

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Benefits Street, Surrey

Funny story: Benefits Street, Surrey

A shocking dramatic picture of the underside of life in a Surrey town near the Thames is to be shown on Channel 4. It is the first in a series of five programmes which will make you sick. There is Joseph Potty, who works in the City on one day a w...

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Selena Gomez Angrily Drops The F-Bomb At A Concert

Funny story: Selena Gomez Angrily Drops The F-Bomb At A Concert

LOS ANGELES - Selena Gomez performed at the Annual KIIS-FM Jingle Ball and was really excited since she heard that Vice-President Joe Biden and is wife Jill were going to be in the audience. After Selena began her first song, the microphone cut ou...

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Age Related Benefit Shock

Funny story: Age Related Benefit Shock

The Government has been urged to re-think the whole matter of age related benefits after several amazing events. Flora Robson (91) took the stage at Wimbledon in a short but impressive run. Tennis guru John Muckyroe (63), formerly a Tennis comment...

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Man on benefit calls for investigation into "continuing subsidisation" of George Osborne

Funny story: Man on benefit calls for investigation into "continuing subsidisation" of George Osborne

A Man on Jobseekers Allowance today called for questions to be asked about whether privilege, massive inherited wealth, and membership of the aristocracy had helped to subsidise George Osborne's lifestyle as "a Vindictive Conservative Chancellor up t...

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Crap Towns attract a range of dodgy characters

Funny story: Crap Towns attract a range of dodgy characters

Following the dubious award of Top Crap Town UK for the fifth year running, the residents of Baconsthorpe seem to have embraced the notoriety of their depressing abode. Mayor Jimmy (The Knife) Roberto has taken out a full page advertisement this...

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Government to Help Workers Boost Earnings by Sending Them Text Messages

Funny story: Government to Help Workers Boost Earnings by Sending Them Text Messages

Under new plans from The Department of Work and Pensions, part-time workers could receive monthly statements telling them how much better off they would be if they increased their hours. They could also be sent texts telling them that working mor...

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Government declares passion for rations

Funny story: Government declares passion for rations

In the quest to simplify the morass of tax credits and welfare benefits, the government is to trial a novel cashless scheme, first pioneered in the 1940s. Today a spokesman for the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP, colloquially pronounced 'do...

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Tory's new 'ducking-stool' disability assessment launched

George Osborne has announced the governments new method of assessing claimant's disability, known as the 'ducking-stool'. The contract, worth £134 trillion, is expected to be awarded to Cameron, Osbourne & Cronies Consultants. "For far too lon...

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Benefits for all!

Funny story: Benefits for all!

Labour leader 'Crazy Eddie' Miliband has taken another happy pill and vowed to deliver a 'living wage' to millions if he wins the next election in 2015. Always assuming that there will be anyone still working by May 7th 2015 Crazy Ed predicts the...

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Breaking news…

Trump Now Also President of Egypt

President Donald Trump now claims to be part Egyptian after a new mummy was uncovered. Noted the President, "Look! It's old, wrinkly, shriveled, and orange! Just like me!"
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