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Funny story:  Man on benefit calls for investigation into "continuing subsidisation" of George Osborne

Man on benefit calls for investigation into "continuing subsidisation" of George Osborne

A Man on Jobseekers Allowance today called for questions to be asked about whether privilege, massive inherited wealth, and membership of the aristocracy had helped to subsidise George Osborne's lifestyle as "a Vindictive Conservative Chancellor up t...
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Funny story:  Benefit changes come into effect

Benefit changes come into effect

Across the UK there was outrage today among benefit fans, when long-expected changes to the benefits system came into place. "I'm outraged," said deceased political activist Spencer Perceval. "This has completely destroyed the benefits system as we know it. Don't they realise that by making small changes that I barely understand but completely disapprove of, the system will cease to exist at al...
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Funny story:  Crap Towns attract a range of dodgy characters

Crap Towns attract a range of dodgy characters

Following the dubious award of Top Crap Town UK for the fifth year running, the residents of Baconsthorpe seem to have embraced the notoriety of their depressing abode. Mayor Jimmy (The Knife) Roberto has taken out a full page advertisement this...
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Funny story:  Government to Help Workers Boost Earnings by Sending Them Text Messages

Government to Help Workers Boost Earnings by Sending Them Text Messages

Under new plans from The Department of Work and Pensions, part-time workers could receive monthly statements telling them how much better off they would be if they increased their hours. They could also be sent texts telling them that working mor...
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Funny story:  Government declares passion for rations

Government declares passion for rations

In the quest to simplify the morass of tax credits and welfare benefits, the government is to trial a novel cashless scheme, first pioneered in the 1940s. Today a spokesman for the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP, colloquially pronounced 'do...
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Funny story:  Tory's new 'ducking-stool' disability assessment launched

Tory's new 'ducking-stool' disability assessment launched

George Osborne has announced the governments new method of assessing claimant's disability, known as the 'ducking-stool'. The contract, worth £134 trillion, is expected to be awarded to Cameron, Osbourne & Cronies Consultants. "For far too lon...
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Funny story:  Benefits for all!

Benefits for all!

Labour leader 'Crazy Eddie' Miliband has taken another happy pill and vowed to deliver a 'living wage' to millions if he wins the next election in 2015. Always assuming that there will be anyone still working by May 7th 2015 Crazy Ed predicts the...
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Funny story:  Benefit Buggers defraud local authorities by millions - So, what else is new?

Benefit Buggers defraud local authorities by millions - So, what else is new?

Councils are being de-frauded to the tune of two billion pounds a year through fraudulent disability allowances and child benefit claims. Councillors are obviously frustrated at this because this money could be getting put towards the entertainme...
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Funny story:  Government Considers Bringing Back The Workhouse

Government Considers Bringing Back The Workhouse

A leaked government document has revealed the coalitions plans to reduce our countries benefits bill. The solution? Bung the poor and needy into newly established workhouses. Government officials reckon all the UK's economic problems would be s...
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Funny story:  Jobseeker's Allowance Now Paid in Biscuits

Jobseeker's Allowance Now Paid in Biscuits

David Cameron announced to the House of Commons yesterday the Tories latest plan to ensure that it always pays to work. 'Too many people on benefits see it as a free lunch,' said the Prime Minister. As of Friday, Jobseeker's Allowance will be paid in...
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Funny story:  McDondalds to replace Atos in new deal for spongers says Duncan Smith

McDondalds to replace Atos in new deal for spongers says Duncan Smith

In yet another dramatic climb-down for the government, Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith announced today that ATOS will no longer be carrying out medical assessments on the sick and disabled, ending the government's controversial contract...
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Funny story:  Boy riding scooter rejects kiss from Fanning sister

Boy riding scooter rejects kiss from Fanning sister

11 year old Dakota Fanning today made her appearance dressed as Scarlett O'Hara at the 12th Annual Dream Halloween Benefit, which is held to raise money for children with HIV/AIDS every year in October. According to eyewitnesses, Dakota was seen w...
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Funny story:  300,000 immigrants claim benefits

300,000 immigrants claim benefits

The UK government has today released shocking statistics that as many as 300,000 immigrants in Britain are claiming benefits, on top of the many millions of Britons who claim them. For years, Britain has led the world in unemployment. The dole qu...
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Funny story:  Riot at Nottingham's Parliament Street Jobcentre Plus!

Riot at Nottingham's Parliament Street Jobcentre Plus!

There was panic in Nottingham city centre this morning, when it was mistakenly published in the 'Free paper', that the Jobcentre Plus on Parliament Street had got 333 new jobs just come in, in error for 3 new jobs. As soon as the crowd rushed the...
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Funny story:  Many Youngsters Still Refusing To Work For Nothing!

Many Youngsters Still Refusing To Work For Nothing!

The government is to finally clamp down hard on unemployed work-shy youths who refuse to work for nothing. The promise to deal with the problem of 'youths with principles' who continue to expect to be paid for their labour was made by the Prime M...
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Funny story:  Benefit cuts to be slashed and then tripled

Benefit cuts to be slashed and then tripled

UK Government plans to slash benefits and then re-assess (with added leniency) Hard hitting government think tank "Chav Tolchock" has put pressure on government to rethink the way benefits are run in the country. People who claim to be unable to w...
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Funny story:  General Practitioners To Monitor The Unemployed

General Practitioners To Monitor The Unemployed

The General Medical Council has reportedly issued new guidelines for GPs, directing them to question patients regarding their current employment status and offering advice on how a return to employment can be advantageous to their health and wellbein...
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Funny story:  Disability pay gap may take millenia to close

Disability pay gap may take millenia to close

The Royal Equality Team for the Assessment of the Rights of the Disabled (RETARD) have released a report indicating that the pay gap between disabled people and able-bodied people is wider than ever. The report describes shocking statistics such a...
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Iron Manifold

SAN DIEGO, CA--Five years after hearing it for the first time, Danny Orsi still has no idea that the
Black Sabbath song "Iron Man" wasn't written for the film series.

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