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Funny satire stories about Belgium

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"Flocks of Belgian seagulls" given birth control pills!

Funny story: "Flocks of Belgian seagulls" given birth control pills!

Belgians, normally regarded as quite level-headed, sensible Europeans, have broken that myth by feeding their seagulls contraceptive pills! Seagulls, quite renowned for their productive, and multiplication qualities, have been recently over-doing...

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Hackers install stent in Belgium's first subterranean beer pipeline

Funny story: Hackers install stent in Belgium's first subterranean beer pipeline

Bruges, Belgium - A newly constructed two mile underground pipeline carrying 1,320 gallons of beer per hour between a Bruges brewery and a bottling plant has been hacked. Police arrived this morning at the Belgian Hob Goblin Brewery amid reports...

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A Belgium Farmer Grows Cabbage That Tastes Exactly Like Filet Mignon

Funny story: A Belgium Farmer Grows Cabbage That Tastes Exactly Like Filet Mignon

BRUSSELS, Belgium - Waterloo Zottbergen has been growing cabbage for the past 29 years and in that time he has made a very good living out of it. But he recently discovered a way to grow cabbage that tastes exactly like a filet mignon steak. Zo...

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Hercule Poirot Star Dead

Funny story: Hercule Poirot Star Dead

There was a great outpouring of grief in Belgium this morning when it was announced that David Suchet, the actor who brought to life the fictional detective created by Agatha Christie, Hercule Poirot, would play the part no more due to complications...

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Sat Nav Ultimate, the original planned journey 38 miles, became 900 miles through six countries

Funny story: Sat Nav Ultimate, the original planned journey 38 miles, became 900 miles through six countries

Solre-sur-Sambre in Belgium, to Zagreb in Croatia, in sixty hours In years to come, when the Solre-sur-Sambre to Zagreb car rally becomes well established, it will be the momentous first trip by 67-year-old Sabine Moreau, who orginally typed in a...

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Football Gossip - WORLD CUP QUALIFYING September 2012

Funny story: Football Gossip - WORLD CUP QUALIFYING September 2012

Moldova 0 England 5 Moldova were rolled over by The Three Lions. Two goals from Frank Lampard, one from Jermaine Defoe and first international strikes from James Milner and Leighton Baines. I think even Leyton Orient might have scored against Moldova. Scotland 0 Serbia 0 Manager Craig Levein told the press conference he believed that his team could win all 10 qualifying games. He was wrong.

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Euro 2012: The real reason Frank Lampard was 'dropped from the squad' denial

Funny story: Euro 2012: The real reason Frank Lampard was 'dropped from the squad' denial

The England camp today moved to distance themselves from claims in the Daily Fail newspaper that Frank Lampard is not really injured but was dropped from the squad because bosses were worried he would eat all the chocolate in Belgium where the team w...

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Doomsday! Obama Prepares to Evacuate Capitol, Activate Northcom, Cancel Election!

Funny story: Doomsday! Obama Prepares to Evacuate Capitol, Activate Northcom, Cancel Election!

In a shocking breach of security reports have leaked out that Obama is prepared to activate his "Doomsday" plan to insure his re election under the guise of a 'National Emergency" which would threaten the stability of the United States of America!...

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Belgium introduces jelly rationing

Funny story: Belgium introduces jelly rationing

As financial crises hit countries around the world, Europe has been particularly hard hit. But little is heard of poor Belgium, its small economy nestling hairily between the driving buttocks of Europe - France and Germany. While Portugal, Greece...

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Antwerp, Art & Ale - A Traveller's Diary

Funny story: Antwerp, Art & Ale - A Traveller's Diary

Travel editor Peregrin Trip visits the historic Belgian port... Magnificent! Antwerp Central railway station - truly magnificent. What a temple to the glory days of rail travel! Antwerpen Centraal was clearly designed to demonstrate that the latter-day burghers' ambition and civic pride were just as great as their medieval forefathers who built its more ancient and holier compatriot down the...

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Who is in charge of Belgium?

Funny story: Who is in charge of Belgium?

It is coming up to the anniversary of the day that Belgium's political deadlock started. Nobody has yet noticed. Although not widely known by the rest of the world, in June 2010 due to a deadlock between the elected officials, nobody won the election. In the UK this resulted in the ConDem partnership, in Belgium they decided they could get on perfectly well without anybody in charge. This ap...

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Belgian Giant Denied a bigger bed

Funny story: Belgian Giant Denied a bigger bed

Hans Leerdammer was arrested two years ago this month, and has a further four years and six months to run on his sentence. He has asked the Belgian prison service for a larger cell, but they refused, forcing him to go to the courts. The reason Lee...

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Belgian Waffles

Funny story: Belgian Waffles

Following Belgium's long standing failure to form a coalition government, Senator Temmerman (ironically a gynaecologist to trade) has taking the unusual step of urging "spouses of all politicians to desist from sex until an agreement is reached". Despite the extreme nature of such a proposal, there is a precedent for this form of intrusive measure having some success. In 2009, a similar ban wa...

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Retired Belgian Mountaineer And Vole Expert Surprised By Dutchman In Dutch Barn

Funny story: Retired Belgian Mountaineer And Vole Expert Surprised By Dutchman In Dutch Barn

A retired Belgian mountaineer, expert on voles and author of seminal study "A Longtitudinal Comparison of the Old Thatched Barns of Holland and Belgium" experienced a significant degree of surprise yesterday, while he was examining a Dutch barn durin...

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Belgium - Mass demonstration against government that doesn't exist

Belgium is facing mounting social unrest as a result of its continuing political crisis. 7 months since the country last voted, political parties are still unable to form a government and are currently considering a proposal about what might be the b...

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Belgium Declares War On Britain

Funny story: Belgium Declares War On Britain

Belgium has declared war on Britain, effective from lunchtime today. The Belgian government has expressed its ire at the fact that Britain consumes a disproportionate amount of Stella Artois and fine Belgian chocolate, leaving little for the Belgian'...

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Fryanair passengers refuse to leave plane in Belgium, it's far too comfortable they say!

Funny story: Fryanair passengers refuse to leave plane in Belgium, it's far too comfortable they say!

Fryanair passengers diverted from Beauvais (F) to Belgium because of fog refused to leave the plane today because they were enjoying the comfort too much. The flight was full with French passengers having a grand time paying extortionate prices fo...

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Belgians "Will they Blend"?

Funny story: Belgians "Will they Blend"?

YouTube viral advert creator, Tom Dickenson, has been contacted by the Belgian government to help with their dead. Due to a lack of space for cremation or burial within their borders, the Belgians wondered "Will they blend"? Dickenson is famous fo...

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I find when I watch cable news in the morning, I much prefer watching Donald Trump talk with the volume off. Imagine an orange Jabba the Hutt as a talentless mime.
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