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Funny story: This Week's Top 20 Chart of Best Selling Records

This Week's Top 20 Chart of Best Selling Records

THIS WEEK'S BEST SELLING RECORDS. Top 20 1. Now I Must Die. Help me... Please! Please! Please! 2. Tomorrow I Must die. Or... the day after. 3 Stop Hurting me. Please... Please... before I kill you. 4. Without You, what is the use of Living? 5. If You Go Away I will die from dope or alcohol, just to Please you. 6. I Can't Live with or Without you. I am a Freemason. 7. If you go Away, so mu...
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Funny story: North Korean Leader Fascinated by Beatles

North Korean Leader Fascinated by Beatles

Pyongyang, North Korea Rotund North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has been mostly a mystery to western journalists since he took power after the death of his eccentric despotic dad, Kim Jong Il. However new revelations about young Kim will help political...
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Funny story: The Fool On The Phone (with apologies to the Beatles)

The Fool On The Phone (with apologies to the Beatles)

Day after day, alone with his phone The man with the foolish grin is tapping away at his keys But nobody wants to know him They can see that he's just a fool (As he taps away his soul) And the fool on the phone Sees the sun going down But the eyes in his head Are still affixed to his screen Well on the way, mind far away The man types away at his keys but has nothing to say But no...
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Funny story: What If It Had Been Paul McCartney Instead of John Who Died?

What If It Had Been Paul McCartney Instead of John Who Died?

In a recent interview we asked Paul McCartney and Ringo who were together for the first time on a recent Television Event, what would it have been like if Paul had been shot and killed instead of John Lennon? Paul: Well, I certainly wouldn't have been here for you to ask me that. Ringo: I remember John. Haven't seen him for a bit. So he would have joked around? Ringo: He was always pul...
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Funny story: Paul McCartney Admits John Wrote Most of Their Songs

Paul McCartney Admits John Wrote Most of Their Songs

Famous Beatle Paul McCartney says it's a relief to get it off his shoulders but that he has admitted that Lennon-McCartney on the records were mostly Lennon and a lot less McCartney. Paul spoke with just a few writers, one from the Rolling Stone w...
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Funny story: Are They Really Back in the USSR?

Are They Really Back in the USSR?

Last night on a rusting Soviet-era troop ship docked in the Strait of Kerch between Crimea and Russia, there was an unusual gathering. Former members of the Red Army's October Banner Choir, along with hundreds of ethnic Russian Ukrainians, joined...
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Funny story: Beatlemania Officially Over

Beatlemania Officially Over

NYACK, NEW YORK - The last original American Beatle's fan club member, Trixie Prospector, died peacefully in her sleep today in Nyack at the age of 71, according to her younger brother, Buster Prospector. "Trixie was the Beatle's greatest fan sinc...
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Funny story: Documents Reveal That Beatles Almost Joined Lawrence Welk's TV Show

Documents Reveal That Beatles Almost Joined Lawrence Welk's TV Show

ESCONDIDO, CA-Recently discovered archives at the Lawrence Welk resort near this city, belonging to the eponymous bandleader suggest that the Beatles might have joined Welk and his Musical Family when they visited the United States in 1964. There...
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Funny story: Paul McCartney Reveals A Secret He Kept For 47 Years

Paul McCartney Reveals A Secret He Kept For 47 Years

NEW YORK CITY - Paul McCartney was in New York City attending The 2014 New Year's festivities. He was asked by Calcutta Cotton with Music Moments Magazine if it was true that he and Ringo Starr were going to be collaborating on a new album. The...
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Funny story: Justin Bieber To Do Beatles, Paul McCartney Album (Taking Break To Record)

Justin Bieber To Do Beatles, Paul McCartney Album (Taking Break To Record)

I guess a lot of older fans of Justin Bieber could see this one coming and they seemed to be in favor as a whole. But, we now here that Justin Bieber is taking time off to go over a lot of the Beatles stuff that he has purchased to record and to reco...
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Funny story: Paul McCartney, Full of Christmas Cheer, Talks to John Lennon

Paul McCartney, Full of Christmas Cheer, Talks to John Lennon

Former Beatle and present rock god Sir Paul McCartney, who confessed that he often talked to the late John Lennon to get song ideas, gave half of the royalties on those songs that John helped with to John's widow Yoko Ono. "It's just a gesture...
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Funny story: Paul McCartney, Full of Christmas Cheer, Talks to John Lennon

Paul McCartney, Full of Christmas Cheer, Talks to John Lennon

Former Beatle and present rock god Sir Paul McCartney, who confessed that he often talked to the late John Lennon to get song ideas, gave half of the royalties on those songs that John helped with to John's widow Yoko Ono. "It's just a gesture...
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Funny story: Heather Mills In Another Rage Incident, Gets Even With Tournament Official

Heather Mills In Another Rage Incident, Gets Even With Tournament Official

Heather Mills, who told Paralympics official Sylvana Mestre "you don't know who I am, I will make your life miserable," just bought the mortgage company that holds the mortgage on Mestre's house and evicted her using alimony money from Paul McCartney...
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Funny story: George Harrison Pissed Because Paul McCartney Doesn't Ask Him For Song Ideas

George Harrison Pissed Because Paul McCartney Doesn't Ask Him For Song Ideas

London, England George Harrison, who died in 2001, appeared in a seance last week to announce that he was pissed and had his feelings hurt when Paul McCartney mentioned that he sometimes talks to John Lennon and asks him for song advice. George,...
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Funny story: A Hog Farmer in Kansas Discovers That Two of His Pigs Love To Hum Along With Him To Songs By The Beatles

A Hog Farmer in Kansas Discovers That Two of His Pigs Love To Hum Along With Him To Songs By The Beatles

WICHITA, Kansas - Buford Buttonspoon has become one of the most popular farmers in his neck of the woods. The 71-year-old hog farmer recently revealed that a year ago last Labor Day, he was out slopping his hogs when he started humming the Beatles...
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Funny story: Paul McCartney: I think now is the time to admit that "Helter Skelter" really was about a race war

Paul McCartney: I think now is the time to admit that "Helter Skelter" really was about a race war

This August marks the 44th anniversary of the Tate-LaBianca murders, a brutal killing spree orchestrated by a lunatic named Charles Manson. Manson's justification for the murders was that a Beatles song--"Helter Skelter", largely written by me--prophesized a violent uprising in which blacks would murder most of the white race. Manson believed that the Tate-LaBianca murders would spark the...
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Funny story: Humpty Dumpty Finally Put Back Together Again With Marijuana Resin

Humpty Dumpty Finally Put Back Together Again With Marijuana Resin

New York, NY-- One of the most well-known eggs in history is finally back in one piece. Scientists have reconstructed the legendary Humpty Dumpty by using 21st Century technology--and marijuana. The famed egg is now back on his wall, listening to m...
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Funny story: The Beatles to reform for the next Eurovision

The Beatles to reform for the next Eurovision

The UK's Eurovision Committee, chaired by Sebastian Coe, have employed the services of Sir Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr and a black magician by the name of Alistair Darling for next year's Eurovision contest entry for the UK. "Darling will employ t...
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Queen of Sheba Susan Rice Demands Hagel's Head

"QueenSheba" Rice had a hissy fit over SecDef Hagel's failure to mouth the Regime's spin on foreign threats. She issued a beheading decree,only deflected by Court Jester "Loony Joe" Biden's ravings.
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