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Funny satire stories about Bears

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Funny story: Bear Lying in a Hammock Offered a Job

Bear Lying in a Hammock Offered a Job

He was relaxing and minding his own business when the photo went viral. The bear has told friends he fails to see why it's such an oddity. "What's so interesting about seeing someone relax in a hammock?" he asks. A major hammock maker thought i...
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Funny story: A Park Ranger At Yellowstone National Park Discovers A Grizzly Bear That Loves To Smoke Marijuana

A Park Ranger At Yellowstone National Park Discovers A Grizzly Bear That Loves To Smoke Marijuana

KEYSTONE, Wyoming - A Park ranger at the world famous Yellowstone National Park has reported that he came across an amazing scene. Park Ranger Tanner Roseheimer, 38, informed National Focus Magazine that a few days ago as he was out checking campf...
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Funny story: Russian women win right to watch bear-baiting

Russian women win right to watch bear-baiting

After a series of protests, ladies in Russia are finally allowed to watch bear-baiting competitions. It is seen as a breakthrough for women's rights in the country. A spokesman for feminist protest group FemBear, Maria Tittichenko said while weari...
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Funny story: The Precarious Prelude of the Pugnaciously Preeminent and Predominant Green Bay Packers

The Precarious Prelude of the Pugnaciously Preeminent and Predominant Green Bay Packers

Many wonder how it is that a little, forgotten town on the frozen banks of Lake Michigan could become the official first city of football. Most major league football towns are huge mothers like Los Angeles, Chicago, Denver, Atlanta, but the one tiny dollop on the sports map is Green Bay. How so? Let me tell you the story: Once upon a time someone for some strange, mysterious reason a sport was...
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Funny story: Nutritionist Killed In a Tragic Bacon Accident

Nutritionist Killed In a Tragic Bacon Accident

Pocono, Pennsylvania -- Gwendolyn Shopworn, a food researcher from Boston, expired earlier today while attempting to cross Pennsylvania's famous Bushkill Falls on a high wire. "This is a real tragedy," said Pocono Sheriff Snuffy Anastasia. "She'...
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Funny story: Colorado Bear Gripes About Bad Experience in Local Bar

Colorado Bear Gripes About Bad Experience in Local Bar

When the bear visited the bar in question (see "Bear Walks Into A Bar: 300-Pound Colorado Black Bear Eludes Patrons" in the International Business Times), he didn't receive much of a welcome. In fact, there was no welcome at all! In an exclusiv...
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Funny story: Wyoming Will Soon Ban The Age Old Practice of Bear Teasing

Wyoming Will Soon Ban The Age Old Practice of Bear Teasing

CHEYENNE, Wyoming - The Wyoming State Senate has just passed a law that will ban the extremely dangerous practice of bear teasing. Senator ZonQuisha Popcorn [D-Laramie] told the assembled media that this piece of legislation should have been passe...
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Funny story: Semi-humorous True Life Bear Encounters

Semi-humorous True Life Bear Encounters

BEAR #1- Returning from an over night kayaking trip out in the islands near where I was working I had a short margin of time to get through a narrow pass between an island and the mainland before it got too shallow to paddle through even in a kayak. Glacier Bay was famous for having 20 to 25 foot tidal changes at times. I missed my margin by at least a half hour. I now had a ten hour wait be...
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Funny story: Archbishop reveals his drinking bears

Archbishop reveals his drinking bears

The new Archbishop of Glastonbury has spoken of how his life has changed since he discovered that his pet bears had been secretly drinking. The Most Rev Jasper Selby has had three pet bears (Bruin, Cuddly and Yogi) for 10 years. They've always bee...
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Funny story: Florida Bear Comes Out of the Wild, Is Eager to Go Back In

Florida Bear Comes Out of the Wild, Is Eager to Go Back In

In his first interview, one with a Spoof reporter, the bear discussed the recent time he spent mingling with humans. "Nothing to write home about," he said, "if I could write, that is. Frankly, I'll be glad to get back to the wild." The bear ha...
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Funny story: Scientific Study; Does a bear shit in the woods?

Scientific Study; Does a bear shit in the woods?

From the same scientist that gave us the study "Is a frog's ass water tight?" We have a new study of a common American cliché, Does a bear shit in the woods? "My dad was always making these comments that made me wonder if there was any truth to t...
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Funny story: BBC Frozen Planet Faked?

BBC Frozen Planet Faked?

BBC executives were today denying the entire series was faked, but agreed some footage could have been misleading. One exec said: 'Ok, the footage of Attenborough in his back yard wading through polystyrene made to look like snow was a little fake...
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Funny story: Occupy Wyoming Protesters Rescued

Occupy Wyoming Protesters Rescued

Jackson Hole WY: A dozen Occupy Wyoming protesters arrived in Jackson Hole to show their displeasure with rich liberal Hollywood stars who own multimillion dollar homes in the region, but pay lip service to the poor like themselves. The homes of...
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Funny story: Bear-Proof Containers

Bear-Proof Containers

For those wishing to explore the back country of Denali National Park in Alaska one of the requirements that the Rangers insist upon is that the avid hikers must take with them a bear-proof container. This is a small, barrel-shaped container which also proves itself to be human proof if you don't carry a screw driver with you to open it. The containers are designed to keep your hiking food in so t...
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Funny story: Koala Bear Visits Australian Pub

Koala Bear Visits Australian Pub

During a rainy evening on an island off the Queensland coast in Australia a Koala Bear wandered in and asked for a jar of amber nectar. The barman, ever alert to some plot by the local cops to test his willingness to serve under age drinkers, aske...
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Funny story: Unemployed US fat and lazy Grizzly Bears only want a piece of the "human cake" too!

Unemployed US fat and lazy Grizzly Bears only want a piece of the "human cake" too!

Humans living near grizzly bear habitats are becoming very worried about the latest generations of grizzlies to appear, apparently they are becoming horrendously overweight, obese, lazy, unemployed scavengers. (similar to many US people) Once upon...
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Funny story: Bears Sh*t in the Woods, Say Bear Experts

Bears Sh*t in the Woods, Say Bear Experts

(Western Montana) - Findings in the latest issue of Bear Scat Quarterly indicate with 99% certainty that bears sh*t in the woods. A bruised/scratched/bleeding member of the research team that led the study had this to say: "Answering the tough qu...
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Funny story: Maher Mauled by "Mama Grizzlies" after Christine O'Donnell Comments

Maher Mauled by "Mama Grizzlies" after Christine O'Donnell Comments

LOS ANGELES (AP) Bill Maher, political satirist and host of HBO's Real Time program was attacked and seriously injured by five angry female grizzly bears yesterday. According to a spokesperson at an area hospital, Maher remains in serious but stable...
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