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Funny satire stories about Batteries

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Funny story: Now Brussels Illuminati threaten to downgrade British AAA Battery

Now Brussels Illuminati threaten to downgrade British AAA Battery

London - "Bring it on!" was the only comment from a consortium of British producers of the Triple-A carbon-zinc battery threatened with downgrading by EU penpushers. They were joined by manufacturers of the alkaline, lithium and NiMH rechargeable...
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Funny story: Death of the Energiser Bunny

Death of the Energiser Bunny

Met police today are investigating the sudden death of the Energiser Bunny. The Bunny famous for going on and on and on was found last night at his flat in Palmers Green. An autopsy early this morning ruled that the Bunny had died of Accute Cardiac A...
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Funny story: New Battery technology set to revolutionise the world

New Battery technology set to revolutionise the world

Scientists in Birmingham have been working on a revolutionary new battery technology that is set to change the way we use electricity forever. "For too long," said Matt Baker, "we have been shackled by batteries. As the rest of the technological w...
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Funny story: The Sun In Glorious 3D

The Sun In Glorious 3D

The International Simultaneous Solar Observatory Synchronised Satellite System (ISSOSSS) has finally attained its orbit around the sun on the opposite side of Earth's orbit to Earth itself, allowing scientists their first view of the entire sun simul...
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Funny story: Wireless Battery Recharger Runs on Batteries

Wireless Battery Recharger Runs on Batteries

In an effort to show how green they can be, Vanson has introduced a new wireless battery re-charger that runs on batteries rather than through a wired connection. "It's all about saving the environment," said Vanson spokesman Timothy Childress. "F...
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Funny story: Bitch can't afford batteries for her vibrator due to bad economy

Bitch can't afford batteries for her vibrator due to bad economy

The current state of the economy is a major turnoff for 21-year-old local resident Jenna Buzzins. The freak used to go through two 8-packs of Energizer AAA batteries a week, and much like the Energizer Bunny, she'd keep going and going… Now she's for...
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Funny story: Duracell fined in indecency case.

Duracell fined in indecency case.

Battery manufacturers Duracell were fined £4.28 for gross indecency at Kent Magistrates Court yesterday.
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Funny story: Batteries Generate Internal Resistance!

Batteries Generate Internal Resistance!

Government officials released a vital statement today suggesting that batteries should probably not be eaten.
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Breaking News...

Teachers sentenced for sex with students

A former female high school teacher received six months in jail for having sex with a male student, while a male teacher at the same school received a six-year sentence for bedding a coed pupil.

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