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Funny satire stories about Barry Bonds

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Funny story: A-Rod Is Invited To Join José Canseco, Sammy Sosa, and Barry Bonds For Friday Night Cards

A-Rod Is Invited To Join José Canseco, Sammy Sosa, and Barry Bonds For Friday Night Cards

MIAMI - Former Major League Baseball player José Canseco has reportedly called up suspended New York Yankees player Alex Rodriguez. Canseco who was found to have used steroids during his playing days decided to call up A-Rod and invite him to join...
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Funny story: Bonds: Testicle Shrinkage Due to Sex Change

Bonds: Testicle Shrinkage Due to Sex Change

Former baseball slugger Barry Bonds acknowledged today that his sperm-manufacturing organs did indeed atrophy-but not because he was taking steroids to make him more powerful at the plate. Bonds said he suffered the retracted gonads because he w...
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Funny story: Barry Bonds planning comeback

Barry Bonds planning comeback

Disgraced home-run king Barry Bonds is reportedly planning a return to professional sports. He is not, however going to play baseball. "Since MLB turned it's back on Barry, he has continued to work out." Explained Scott Boras, who will represent...
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Funny story: Pee-Wee League Player Suspended For Illegal Substance Use

Pee-Wee League Player Suspended For Illegal Substance Use

(Great Neck-NY) In the shadow of Manny Ramirez's 50 game suspension for the use of a controlled substance, Pee-Wee league rookie sensation Josh "Long Ball" Brenner of the Massapequa Whirlwindz was suspended for three games by the Police Athletic Leag...
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Funny story: Barry Bonds inadvertently encourages youth to use steroids

Barry Bonds inadvertently encourages youth to use steroids

Despite his repeated denials, many young high school athletes believe Barry Bonds owes his slugging power and career longevity to the use of performance enhancing substances such as steroids.
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Funny story: Baseball Commissioner Busts Bonds to 754 in Bizarre Ruling

Baseball Commissioner Busts Bonds to 754 in Bizarre Ruling

In a briefly worded decision handed down on Friday, baseball commissioner Bud Selig has ruled fan interference on eight balls that former San Francisco Giants slugger Barry Bonds hit out of Pac Bell/SBC/AT&T/Whatever Park and into McCovey Cove beyond...
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Funny story: Barry Bonds Reaches Out to Kids

Barry Bonds Reaches Out to Kids

Alcatraz, CA - While Barry Bonds has made some mistakes in his life, he's determined to make sure that other's do not fall into the same traps. After being sent to jail for perjury and obstruction to justice, Barry Bonds entered into a plea...
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Funny story: Bonds: "They Weren't Performance Enhancing Steroids"

Bonds: "They Weren't Performance Enhancing Steroids"

SAN FRANCISCO - Baseball's home run king, Barry Bonds, was his usual witty, charming self as he shrugged off questions regarding his recent indictment by a federal grand jury.
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Funny story: Barry Bonds wins Spoofwriter's award for "teacher of the year;" ironically loses perspective of own balls

Barry Bonds wins Spoofwriter's award for "teacher of the year;" ironically loses perspective of own balls

Barry Bonds just clinched it. After being indicted today for perjury and obstruction of justice, Bonds won Spoofwriter, King David's award for "teacher of the year."...
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Funny story: Barry Bonds Ball sells for $752,457

Barry Bonds Ball sells for $752,457

Steroid-enhanced home-run King Barry Bonds ball, which broke the home run record, sold for the price of a small town mansion this afternoon at auction.
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Funny story: Barry Bonds & Bob Costas Come to Oral Blows

Barry Bonds & Bob Costas Come to Oral Blows

US and A (ESPN) - After Barry Bonds referred to sports commentator Bob Costas as "a little midget man who doesn't know jack about baseball", Costas has upped the ante by giving Bonds the nickname 'The Juicer'. (Strangely, Mr. B...
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Funny story: Man Who Caught Barry Bonds Ball has Novel Way to Display it

Man Who Caught Barry Bonds Ball has Novel Way to Display it

After Barry Bonds hit his record breaking home run there was pandemonium in the stands to gain control of the ball. The ball has been estimated to be worth an undetermined amount. Bonds 72 HRs in a season fetched some $400.000. Fans are saying the ke...
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Funny story: Barry Bonds Ties Home Run Record

Barry Bonds Ties Home Run Record

Barry Bonds hit his 755th home run to tie Hank Aaron's record. This places him in a probable "asterisk" record if/when he moves ahead of Aaron after hitting his next home run.
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Funny story: Charlton Heston Mocks Barry Bonds

Charlton Heston Mocks Barry Bonds

SAN FRANCISCO (Lumberg) - Actor Charlton Heston mocked Barry Bonds on Saturday, announcing that the San Francisco Giants hitter can have Hank Aaron's career home run record only by prying it "from my cold, dead hands".
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Funny story: Hank Aaron Comes Out of Retirement to Stay Ahead of Barry Bonds

Hank Aaron Comes Out of Retirement to Stay Ahead of Barry Bonds

Famed slugger Hank Aaron rejoined the Milwaukee Brewers this week in an attempt to keep his record for career home runs in the major leagues. Aaron retired in 1976 with 755 homers under his belt. This year Barry Bonds has been closing in on Aaron, hi...
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Funny story: 'Hand of God' appears out of Left Field to thwart Barry Bonds Home Run Record Attempt

'Hand of God' appears out of Left Field to thwart Barry Bonds Home Run Record Attempt

SAN FRANCISCO (Lumberg) - The 'Hand of God' repeatedly made an appearance on Wednesday, preventing Barry Bonds from hitting any further home runs.
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Funny story: Barry Bonds Actually White; Sportswriters Cheer

Barry Bonds Actually White; Sportswriters Cheer

Sportswriters over the past week have been announcing their support for Barry Bonds in his home run chase after it was announced last week that Bonds is actually white. Gaylord Perry, a teammate of Bobby Bonds on the 1960s San Franci...
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Funny story: Barry Bonds Breaks Another Record

Barry Bonds Breaks Another Record

More records have fallen to San Francisco Giant slugger Barry Bonds in his attempt to pass Hank Aaron's home run record. At this writing, Bonds is still five short of tying that record at 755. Other records have come his way in his past few gam...
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Breaking News...

Fire Brigade Called To Shopping Mall Bathroom As Hand Drier Pins Woman To Ceiling

A new generation of super-powerful hand driers were criticised yesterday after a woman was blown to the ceiling while drying her face. The Dison Mk.2 Tornado driers were being recalled yesterday.
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