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Funny story: George Clooney and Madonna To Star In The Sexually Erotic Romantic-Spy Thriller, The Raging Hormones

George Clooney and Madonna To Star In The Sexually Erotic Romantic-Spy Thriller, The Raging Hormones

LOS ANGELES - Word flowing out of LaLaLand is that production on the romantic-spy thriller The Raging Hormones will begin within the week. George Clooney and Madonna will star in the Sheboygan Saddlewood epic which is based on a true story. Clo...
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Funny story: Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day Six - Usain Bolt And The Magic Fountains

Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day Six - Usain Bolt And The Magic Fountains

Barcelona - El Raval - Sunday: Another hot sunny Sunday in the Catalan capital. For the Shuttlecock clan, there was much to anticipate, for Sunday evenings are traditionally the best times to see the Magic Fountain on the olympic hill of Montjuic in all their spectacular glory. The whole clan were raring to go, and wallow in the Magic Fountain's musical lightshow. All that is, except Mart...
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Funny story: Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day Five

Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day Five

Barcelona - Day Five - L'Aquarium. In his own words for once. "It was a weird sort of a day; day five. It kicked off with the kids getting bored in the apartment, so I had a conspiratorial word in the son-in-law's shell, and we decided to take them out for a walk to burn off some of that excess energy. "I don't know if any of you who are reading this know Barcelona at all - if you do, you...
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Funny story: Martin Shuttlecock's Letters from Barcelona - Day Four - The Nou Camp

Martin Shuttlecock's Letters from Barcelona - Day Four - The Nou Camp

No trip to Barcelona is ever considered complete without a visit to the magnificent Nou Camp. Which is where Martin Shuttlecock went on Friday, accompanied by his football loving son in law. Who filmed the event for posterity, unknown to Shuttlecock. "He had one of them orbital cameras," Shuttlecock revealed. "What does films and that. I didn't know he was filming it. I thought he was just t...
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Funny story: Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day Three And El Raval

Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day Three And El Raval

Night time: Sagrada Familia, El Raval and Ladyboys - As regular readers are probably aware, Martin Shuttlecock can't write for peanuts, has no comprehension of the concept of humour, or irony, or even basic table manners. So we sent a Skoob News reporter out to interview him. In a cockroach infested crackhouse up an alley in Barcelona's notorious El Raval district. "It's not really all that...
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Funny story: Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day Two

Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day Two

Day two: Day two got lost somehow. So this is really day three part one. Day three part two will appear at some point today, providing day three isn't quite as hectic as day two. Deep joy on day two with the discovery of a shop that sells pies. Things were looking up. Then things looked up even more with the discovery of a chip shop that sells fish and chips, pies, mushy peas and gravy too!...
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Funny story: Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day One

Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day One

"Well, that wasn't at all what I expected," said a decidedly disgruntled Martin Shuttlecock, from his garret in Barcelona's notorious El Raval district, last night. "The flight down here was pretty uneventful - although it wasn't a Lear jet, it was at least a jet, one of them airbus things. Still, at least we never did a belly flop onto the M27. And we didn't get served champagne by a bevvy of...
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Funny story: Local Man To Post Daily 'Letter From Barcelona' Providing He Actually Gets There And Can Stay Sober For Long Enough

Local Man To Post Daily 'Letter From Barcelona' Providing He Actually Gets There And Can Stay Sober For Long Enough

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock today announced that he intends to post daily letters from Barcelona - on condition that he actually makes the trip, and can avoid getting blind drunk on Estrella Damm, absinthe, and local wine by the bucketload. "It'...
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Funny story: Local Man Brands Home Secretary, Theresa May, As: "A Brain-Dead Muppet"

Local Man Brands Home Secretary, Theresa May, As: "A Brain-Dead Muppet"

Speaking from his 1960's retro-themed council tower block in Titchfield, Hants this evening, local man, Martin Shuttlecock angrily declared that in his opinion, Home Secretary, Theresa May, is "a brain-dead muppet" with no tangible grip on reality, a...
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Funny story: Gentleman John Terry Red Carded For Kneeing Alexis Sanchez Up The Bottom

Gentleman John Terry Red Carded For Kneeing Alexis Sanchez Up The Bottom

There was an extremely tense atmosphere at the Camp Nou as Barcelona entertained Chelsea in the Champions League semi final a few minutes ago, with Chelsea under siege from a rampant Barcelona strike force. Including Lionel Messi and Alexis Sanchez.
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Funny story: World's Best Footballer - Messi Or Ronaldo? - Local Man Gives Definitive Verdict

World's Best Footballer - Messi Or Ronaldo? - Local Man Gives Definitive Verdict

It's been acknowledged as the most difficult question in modern football - the sheer genius of the diminutive Argentinian, or the instinctive athletic artistry of the Portuguese? Who is the world's best footballer? The two went head to head last n...
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Funny story: Sir Alex Ferguson shows first signs of dementia!

Sir Alex Ferguson shows first signs of dementia!

Manchester United's manager, Sir Alex Ferguson, 70, has shown his first signs of dementia by claiming that Manchester is nearer Barcelona than Madrid! This astonishing geographical error is proof that the 70 year-old Scot should actually have b...
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Funny story: Lionel Messi named 'Footballer of the Year'

Lionel Messi named 'Footballer of the Year'

Leo Messi was today named the 'Short Footballer of the Year' in a prestigious ceremony at the Dog and Duck in Cleethorpes. 5 foot 7 inches Messi held off competition in the voting from now retired 5 foot 6 inches Roberto Carlos, 5 foot 5 inches De...
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Funny story: Mourinho Goes Home And Kicks The Cat Up The Arse

Mourinho Goes Home And Kicks The Cat Up The Arse

Breaking news suggests that a Real Madrid source last night revealed to Barcelona coach Pep Guardiola, that Real boss Jose Mourinho went home after last night's match at the Bernabeu and kicked the family cat up the arse in frustration. Mourinho's...
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Funny story: Gary Neville calls Barcelona "a team of midgets"

Gary Neville calls Barcelona "a team of midgets"

Politically incorrect TV pundit Gary Neville is back on the naughty step again. The outspoken ex footballer has called Barcelona "a team of midgets" The FA have received scores of complaints from short people with the hump. Spokesman Loft...
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Funny story: Messi - We Could Have Scored Ten

Messi - We Could Have Scored Ten

Barcelona superstar, Lionel Messi - rated by many as the best player in the world - shrugged off suggestions that Barcelona's 3-1 Champions League Final victory over Manchester United had been a hard fought contest. The diminutive Argentinian geni...
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Funny story: Man Utd Caught Out By Pace - Messi Explains Relentless Tempo

Man Utd Caught Out By Pace - Messi Explains Relentless Tempo

European Champions League winner Lionel Messi took time out from Barcelona's celebrations last night to explain the relentless pace of the scintillating final at Wembley. Barca ran out worthy 3-1 winners with goals by Pedrito, Messi and Villa. Roo...
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Funny story: Man Utd Defeated by Barca: Surprisingly Not Funny Says Expert

Man Utd Defeated by Barca: Surprisingly Not Funny Says Expert

Manchester Utd were obliged to defer to the superiority of Barcelona in the European Champions League final at Wembley. Barca were worthy 3-1 winners in normal time with a brilliant display of running, passing, pressing... United just could not li...
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Showing page 1 (of 5 pages)
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Bill Clinton: U. S. can't win ground war vs. Iraq

Bill Clinton insists the U. S. armed forces cannot win a land war against Iraq "or any other country, no matter how many booties are on the ground, because there are too many gays in the military."

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