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Funny story: This Week's Headline Snidbits

This Week's Headline Snidbits

Taken from the top news headlines this week: • Reports indicate that the Disneyland measles outbreaks were caused by low vaccination rates. See what ObamaCare did this week? It lowered inoculation rates 10 years ago. Thanks, Obama. • President Obama made his NCAA bracket picks. He admitted it was very difficult to take a break from his official duties and just enjoy the fun, frivolous mome...
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Funny story: President Obama Issues Executive Order Mandating That All African-Americans Must Vote

President Obama Issues Executive Order Mandating That All African-Americans Must Vote

WASHINGTON, DC - In a stunning moment, President Obama signed an executive order that mandates all African-Americans to vote. Obama signed the order in a meeting in Detroit on Thursday. "We shouldn't be making it harder to vote, we should be makin...
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Funny story: GOP Criticizing Obama for Picking Kentucky Instead of Israel

GOP Criticizing Obama for Picking Kentucky Instead of Israel

WASHINGTON -- Republican leaders are engaging in a bit of their own "March Madness" in criticizing President Obama for picking the number one ranked and undefeated Kentucky Wildcats to win the NCAA men's basketball championship instead of GOP favorit...
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Funny story: Obama - "I Don't Know Jack Shit"

Obama - "I Don't Know Jack Shit"

Boston, Massachusetts - In a visit to a Boston Area middle school social studies class yesterday, President Obama found himself unable to answer follow up questions from a persistent student in the class. Obama was visting the city to raise funds...
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Funny story: NASA's study of magnetosphere has Obummer seeing red

NASA's study of magnetosphere has Obummer seeing red

President Barry Obummer is madder than Michelle on PMS at the news that the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA, for short) is spending one billion dollars "that could be better spent on propping up Obummercare," Prezident Obummer co...
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Funny story: Ayatollah Obama Slams Republican Senators' Letter

Ayatollah Obama Slams Republican Senators' Letter

WASHINGTON, DC - The United States Supreme Leader, Ayatollah Barack Obama, criticized a letter sent by 47 U.S. Republican Senators to Tehran about the ongoing negotiations on Iran's nuclear program, saying the move showed "disintegration" in U.S. pol...
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Funny story: White House - Obama Did Email Hilary Clinton On Her Private Account

White House - Obama Did Email Hilary Clinton On Her Private Account

Washington DC - President Obama exchanged emails with Hilary Clinton but his spokesman denies the President was ever cognizant of the act. "We really have no way of knowing," Press Secretary Josh Earnest told reporters. Earnest went on to say t...
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Funny story: United States Issues Harsh New Sanctions Against Venezuela

United States Issues Harsh New Sanctions Against Venezuela

Washington DC - Speaking to a gathering of mentally challenged high school students at a flagship Washington DC vocational charter school, President Obama announced new sanctions against Venezuela, citing Venezuela's "inflammatory" rhetoric. "The...
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Funny story: Has a 'dirty' British general covered up Barack Obama's real origins?

Has a 'dirty' British general covered up Barack Obama's real origins?

London, UK - A highly decorated World War III general and former UK Chief of Stuff has been quizzed by cops following a series of dawn raids as part of Operation Ratsarse. General Sir Monty Dambusta, WC & bar, 47,942,716th in line to the Briti...
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Funny story: Prezident Obummer weighs in on ISIS' destruction of Nimrod

Prezident Obummer weighs in on ISIS' destruction of Nimrod

ISIS has built or purchased, "from parties unknown," a time machine and is traveling into Iraq's "ancient past," to destroy the Assyrian city of Nimrod, the United Nations recently whined. "We are heartbroken," archaeologists sniffed, "and outrage...
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Funny story: Extremely racist old man planning to run for U.S. president in 2016

Extremely racist old man planning to run for U.S. president in 2016

Ah, yes. Elections. The only thing more American than that is a morbidly obese 40 year old drunk man carrying an assault rifle; yelling at immigrants. Boy, we really let our forefathers down. Around 65 people are potential candidates for presiden...
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Funny story: Obama: "Never Much Of A Masturbator in College."

Obama: "Never Much Of A Masturbator in College."

Washington DC - In yet another in what appears now to be a series of near weekly interviews with strange, internet celebrities, President Obama told 19 year old Syracuse University Blogger, Sam Jones, that he wasn't "big on whacking it" when he was i...
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Funny story: Obama Calls Senate Majority Leader McConnell To Say He Looks Like A Ventriloquist Dummy

Obama Calls Senate Majority Leader McConnell To Say He Looks Like A Ventriloquist Dummy

Washington DC - President Obama today called Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell to insult him on his looks, confirmed White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest. "I can confirm that, in addition to continuing to work diligently finding areas und...
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Funny story: Obama Announces - Red Neck Christian Brains To Be Mapped

Obama Announces - Red Neck Christian Brains To Be Mapped

President Obama on Tuesday will announce a broad new research initiative, starting with $100 million in 2014, to invent and refine new technologies to understand the hows and whys - the unique functioning of - Fundamentalist Christian/Redneck thou...
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Funny story: Vladimir Putin Announces Boris Nemtsov Committed Suicide

Vladimir Putin Announces Boris Nemtsov Committed Suicide

After a lengthy ten hour investigation pursuing thousands of clues, tips and accusations, Russia's Prime Minister Vladimir Putin announced that the former Deputy Prime Minister under Boris Yeltsin, Boris Nemtsov, committed suicide by shooting himself...
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Funny story: Obummer admits to homosexual affair with alien

Obummer admits to homosexual affair with alien

Prezident Obummer has come clean--well, relatively clean. He confessed to having had a love affair with an alien--not an illegal alien from Mexico, but with a Vulcan--well, a half human, half-Vulcan. "I loved Spock," the prezident gushed. "H...
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Funny story: Critics Blast Common Core Sex Education Standards For Emphasizing Technique

Critics Blast Common Core Sex Education Standards For Emphasizing Technique

Washington DC - The Obama Administration's education department has come under fire for re-writing the nation's sex education standards so that they emphasize technique. The new standards, summarized in a recent Department of Education press relea...
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Funny story: Obummer promises investigation "by and by"

Obummer promises investigation "by and by"

SECOND CITY -- The Windy City, home to Prezident Obummer and his one-time chief of staff, Mayor-for-Now Rahm Emanuel, is (allegedly) operating a "black site" jail where prisoners are (allegedly) denied their Constitutional rights and are (allegedly)...
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Showing page 1 (of 240 pages)
Breaking News...

Plans for Bergdahl Post-CourtMartial Leaked

Another leak from the Empire Palace reveals Barack I will appoint Beau Bergdahl--after his court-martial--as His Excellency's Ambassador to the Taliban, given Bergdahls' extensive connections there.
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