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Funny story: Hellfire Bank hid millions for arms dealers, drug traffickers and Z-Lister celebs

Hellfire Bank hid millions for arms dealers, drug traffickers and Z-Lister celebs

Switzerland - Hellfire Bank's Gnomes of Zurich subsidiary hid billions of $$$ for drug lords, arms dealers and Z-Lister royals according to a new report. Celeb non-entities laundered their coke-dealing squillions via the Swiss bank's private arm i...
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Funny story: GOP Hopefuls Support Big Banks' Risk Taking

GOP Hopefuls Support Big Banks' Risk Taking

GOP Presidential hopefuls Jeb Bush, Ted Cruz, Chris Christie, and Scott Walker today issued a joint statement "of agreement on the economy." Among the topics of that agreement is that certain corporations, particularly financial institutions, are...
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Funny story: Philae Brings Science Back to Earth

Philae Brings Science Back to Earth

Tragedy has struck after a major news conference at the Philae Science, Operations and Navigation Centre in France's CNES space agency, Toulouse. Prof. Claude Clouseau director of Science and Robotic exploration gave a rousing speech to a gatheri...
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Funny story: It's just Wronga - Pocketmoney Loan Co. opens in Glasgow School!

It's just Wronga - Pocketmoney Loan Co. opens in Glasgow School!

Government big-wigs may be forced to act if notorious Payday lenders continue their expansion into the children's pocketmoney market. Payday loan sharks Wronga ! see Easterend Primary School in Glasgow as the ideal trial point in the UK for their con...
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Funny story: New National Sperm Bank "ATM" Machine Proposal

New National Sperm Bank "ATM" Machine Proposal

The new National Sperm Bank in Birmingham is to have "night deposit boxes" and sperm withdrawal A.T.M machines like any other bank, a spokesperson for the N.S.B told our sperm welfare staff this morning. Nasty letters will be sent out to customer...
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Funny story: Barclays to Cut Ten Trillion Jobs

Barclays to Cut Ten Trillion Jobs

As of next year, the Barclays Eagle will be flying lower than Buddy Holly. Sources close to the Board (two mixed-gender prostitutes and a man who peddles blood diamonds from the back of a three-wheeler bike) revealed: "First to go will be the back...
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Funny story: New Mortgage Rate System Rated (We Need To Hire A Snappy Headline Writer)

New Mortgage Rate System Rated (We Need To Hire A Snappy Headline Writer)

In a shakeup to the way we apply for mortgage's people will now take a personality test to see if their eligible to receive a large sum of money for them to own their own property. The test will take the form of a quiz with a number of questions and...
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Funny story: Local Woman Arrested After Asking Men to Strip in Front of Her!

Local Woman Arrested After Asking Men to Strip in Front of Her!

The police in Salt Lake City have arrested a beautiful lady that has been a bank teller there for several years. She was charged with asking several local men to strip in front of her and some of the men were married and some not. "It was very...
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Funny story: Detroit roofer and mortician's assistant make eerie discovery

Detroit roofer and mortician's assistant make eerie discovery

DETROIT, MI - Her lawn was mowed. Her bills were paid. Her mail was collected every day. But the lady of the house never went out or answered her door. She couldn't: she was dead. In fact, she was mummified. Her remains were found, neatly...
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Funny story: Justin Bieber Robs A Bank!

Justin Bieber Robs A Bank!

Justin Bieber can't stay out of trouble even if he sits on his skinny butt at his house with a girlfriend, according to him. Apparently, guys are having fun at Bieber's expense, going around the area where he lives and playing practical jokes and...
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Funny story: A Boston Banker Arrested For Printing $8 Million In Counterfeit Monopoly Money

A Boston Banker Arrested For Printing $8 Million In Counterfeit Monopoly Money

BOSTON - Authorities in Boston have reported the arrest of well-known bank president Lars L. Lemoncloud who retired from the Third National Bank of Boston three years ago after a 31 year banking career. Police found Mr. Lemoncloud's fingerprints i...
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Funny story: Economists Polled Say Things Are Looking Up

Economists Polled Say Things Are Looking Up

It appears that banks who borrowed cheaply can actually park their cheaply borrowed dollars at the Fed--after they bought up the bonds sold by the Treasury. Companies who borrowed from the banks in the form of "lines of credit" can turn around an...
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Funny story: Customers Unsettled By Bank PR Campaigns

Customers Unsettled By Bank PR Campaigns

Customers of UK High Street Banks are increasingly reporting their unease about the recent trend for banks to demonstrate excessive goodwill and courtesy towards customers. 'I only dropped into Nat West to use the cashpoint,' said one customer. 'O...
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Funny story: Congress Grants New Powers to Banks

Congress Grants New Powers to Banks

In a surprise move yesterday Washington Congress granted wide-ranging powers to American Banks. Explained Senator Hart Black recently returned from the Bilderberg Conference held this year underneath the Vatican; "In accord with our foreign engagemen...
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Funny story: Hedge Fund Managers Finally Admit Truth to Public

Hedge Fund Managers Finally Admit Truth to Public

In a stunning announcement of something we already knew, the nation's hedge fund managers have finally admitted that insider trading is at the heart of their business model. Mel Leber, chief investment officer for the BUH Holdings Hedge Fund Gro...
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Funny story: The Bank of Rupt taking over the banking industry

The Bank of Rupt taking over the banking industry

Tokyo - Minister of Finance, Kurtaklinger San, has announced a new bank will be in control of all Japanese banks. This new bank will also be taking over the other nations banks in quick succession. According to Kurtaklinger San spokesperson, Ningaw...
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Funny story: O'Malleys Bank in Ireland Demands Euro Bailout to Avoid Meltdown

O'Malleys Bank in Ireland Demands Euro Bailout to Avoid Meltdown

Patrick O'Malley, founder, President, Teller, Receptionist and Cleaner of O'Malley's Bank in McGillmara, Ireland, has demanded a financial bailout from the European Union. Without an immediate injection of cash the bank will collapse and take the...
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Funny story: Societal Norms to blame for all evil

Societal Norms to blame for all evil

The public today reacted with astonishment after RBS boss Stephen Hester defensively declared "I don't set my pay" and went on to disclose that obscene bonuses awarded to bankers were due to a shadowy cartel known only as 'societal norms'. The app...
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Obama signs bill to fund Homeland Insecurity

Capitol Hill braces itself for a massive FBI bust of Russian agents who have infiltrated Wall Street, Big Oil and the Krispy Kreme Co
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