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Can't pay? - We'll take it away! High Court Enforcers demand £1.8 trillion at HM Treasury

Funny story: Can't pay? - We'll take it away! High Court Enforcers demand £1.8 trillion at HM Treasury

High Court Sheriff enforcers have been hired to seize goods to the value of £1,765,287,432,177.59 after creditors lost faith in the UK's ability to service the national debt. Officials have just 24 hours to pay at least £800 billion by chip-and-pi...

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No Interest In The Interest Rate

The unthinkable has happened to our fair island and we're not talking about the three consecutive days of sun we've had. The UK has cut the interest rates to 0.25% we hit the streets and asked "normal" people what they thought about the cuts. Mike...

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New National Sperm Bank "ATM" Machine Proposal

Funny story: New National Sperm Bank "ATM" Machine Proposal

The new National Sperm Bank in Birmingham is to have "night deposit boxes" and sperm withdrawal A.T.M machines like any other bank, a spokesperson for the N.S.B told our sperm welfare staff this morning. Nasty letters will be sent out to customer...

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Jane Austen Visits Bookstore in NYC's Grand Central Terminal

Funny story: Jane Austen Visits Bookstore in NYC's Grand Central Terminal

Furious upon learning that her likeness would appear on 10-pound Bank of England notes, Ms. Austen determined she would take action to express her displeasure. "Kinda cheap," Jane reportedly complained, spreading the word that she had expected...

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Comedian takes over Bank of England

Funny story: Comedian takes over Bank of England

It has been confirmed that a Comedian will replace Tubbs from the League of Gentlemen-lookalike Mervyn King as the Governor of the Bank of England. In a surprise move the Chancellor announced the unknown Comedian as the new head, before adding tha...

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Olly Murs Named As New Bank Of England Governor

Funny story: Olly Murs Named As New Bank Of England Governor

After months of speculation the identity of the next governor of the Bank of England has been revealed as Olly Murs. George Osborne stunned the city by announcing that Olly Murs, the runner-up in the sixth series of The X Factor in 2009, will repl...

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Gnomes of Zurich rattled at new Bank of England Governor appointment

Funny story: Gnomes of Zurich rattled at new Bank of England Governor appointment

New York - "In central banking stature terms the man's a midget," the CEO of First Moneylaundering Gnomes of Zurich Bank [USA] Inc said today as news of Mark Carney's appointment broke, "probably only got the Canadian job for keeping his mouth shut a...

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EX-Cabinet Minister Sectioned For Asking Questions About Bank Of England!

Funny story: EX-Cabinet Minister Sectioned For Asking Questions About Bank Of England!

Ex Government Austerity Minister Sir Peregrine Partridge-Greenwelly has been sectioned under the Mental Health Act of 1983. Sir PG will undergo re-training at a psychiatric hospital in West London following a speech he made in Parliament on Thursday...

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Lack of interest in interest rates

The Bank of England is worried about the public's lack of interest in its interest rates. With current rates of interest now at a historic 0.5 per cent low, "people are just not interested," said the Governor. "In fact, the public's level of inter...

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UK Interest Rates Left Unchanged

Funny story: UK Interest Rates Left Unchanged

The Bank of England has once again left UK interest rates unchanged and announced no expansion to its quantitative easing (QE) programme. Rates have now been held at the current record low for more than three years. "We're just not that bothere...

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Bank of England Governor blames the Queen

Funny story: Bank of England Governor blames the Queen

London - Last year's royal wedding hexed the economy and plunged the UK into double dip recession 'like wot satirists predicted back in 2008'. Today a new warning by the Bank of England Governor lays blame squarely on the Queen. The octogenaria...

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Bank of England Funds Diverted to Charity

Funny story: Bank of England Funds Diverted to Charity

Rumours that the Bank of England has taken to the Christmas spirit and donated its entire funds to charity are turning out to be partly true. Robin Hood and his merry men have diverted the Bank's funds to a number of 'good causes' by manipulation...

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Britons Not Pleased with New Note

Funny story: Britons Not Pleased with New Note

Most Britons were agitated today as they learned that the Bank of England issued a new fifty-pound note. In the height of the worst recession in history the government decided that this would be a great idea to unify Britons and prepare for the 201...

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Fury in Caracas as Hugo Chavez-hired bullion submarine 'sinks' without trace

Funny story: Fury in Caracas as Hugo Chavez-hired bullion submarine 'sinks' without trace

Caracas - The Venezuelan leader is hopping mad at reports that repatriation of the country's 211.35 tons of gold bullion has got off to an inauspicious start. The overnight 'disappearance' of HMS Iron Pyrites, a refurbished former Royal Navy sub c...

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Bank of England Governor's letter to the Chancellor

Funny story: Bank of England Governor's letter to the Chancellor

Following the announcement that CPI inflation in the UK in the 12 months to April was 4.5% per cent, the Bank has published a letter from the Governor to the Chancellor, as required by policy. The letter is reproduced below: Bank of England London EC2R 8AH The Rt Hon George Osborne Chancellor of the Exchequer HM Treasury 1 Horse Guards Road London SW1A 2HQ Dear Chancellor As you w...

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UK Interest Rate Higher Than AV Vote

Funny story: UK Interest Rate Higher Than AV Vote

The Bank of England's Monetary Policy Committee has once again resisted pressure to increase interest rates and so the record low of 0.5%. With all sectors experiencing a slowdown in growth, the MPC decided that it would be counter productive to f...

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TUC joins with the Governor of the Bank of England

Funny story: TUC joins with the Governor of the Bank of England

In a display of workers solidarity the Governor of the Bank of England told the TUC Conference that they were right to be angry with the Banks over the Financial crisis. However he also said that the working people of the country would still have...

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Bank of England grants licence to print to general public

Funny story: Bank of England grants licence to print to general public

Bank of England decided to let general public engage in quantitative easing. The decision was made after one of the money printing machines stopped working and all suppliers of spare parts refused to accept sterling as a payment. BoE was not able to...

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Breaking news…

Emmanuel Macron Doesn’t Speak Trumpish

Anyone notice, French President Emmanuel Macron speaks better English than Donald Trump? And no superlatives necessary...Sad!
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