New York - "In central banking stature terms the man's a midget," the CEO of First Moneylaundering Gnomes of Zurich Bank [USA] Inc said today as news of Mark Carney's appointment broke, "probably only got the Canadian job for keeping his mouth shut a...
Ex Government Austerity Minister Sir Peregrine Partridge-Greenwelly has been sectioned under the Mental Health Act of 1983. Sir PG will undergo re-training at a psychiatric hospital in West London following a speech he made in Parliament on Thursday...
The Bank of England is worried about the public's lack of interest in its interest rates.
With current rates of interest now at a historic 0.5 per cent low, "people are just not interested," said the Governor. "In fact, the public's level of inter...
The Bank of England has once again left UK interest rates unchanged and announced no expansion to its quantitative easing (QE) programme.
Rates have now been held at the current record low for more than three years.
"We're just not that bothere...
London - Last year's royal wedding hexed the economy and plunged the UK into double dip recession 'like wot satirists predicted back in 2008'.
Today a new warning by the Bank of England Governor lays blame squarely on the Queen.
The octogenaria...
Rumours that the Bank of England has taken to the Christmas spirit and donated its entire funds to charity are turning out to be partly true.
Robin Hood and his merry men have diverted the Bank's funds to a number of 'good causes' by manipulation...
Most Britons were agitated today as they learned that the Bank of England issued a new fifty-pound note. In the height of the worst recession in history the government decided that this would be a great idea to unify Britons and prepare for the 201...
Caracas - The Venezuelan leader is hopping mad at reports that repatriation of the country's 211.35 tons of gold bullion has got off to an inauspicious start.
The overnight 'disappearance' of HMS Iron Pyrites, a refurbished former Royal Navy sub c...
Following the announcement that CPI inflation in the UK in the 12 months to April was 4.5% per cent, the Bank has published a letter from the Governor to the Chancellor, as required by policy. The letter is reproduced below:
Bank of England
London EC2R 8AH
The Rt Hon George Osborne
Chancellor of the Exchequer
HM Treasury
1 Horse Guards Road
London SW1A 2HQ
Dear Chancellor
As you w...
A lucky gold miner from Bethnal Green laid claim to the top end of Threadneedle Street today after striking gold fifty feet below the surface.
Within an hour, city police reported thousands of men with shovels gathering outside Mansion House tub...
The Bank of England's Monetary Policy Committee has once again resisted pressure to increase interest rates and so the record low of 0.5%.
With all sectors experiencing a slowdown in growth, the MPC decided that it would be counter productive to f...
In a display of workers solidarity the Governor of the Bank of England told the TUC Conference that they were right to be angry with the Banks over the Financial crisis.
However he also said that the working people of the country would still have...
Bank of England decided to let general public engage in quantitative easing. The decision was made after one of the money printing machines stopped working and all suppliers of spare parts refused to accept sterling as a payment. BoE was not able to...
It has been today announced that the nation faces a huge deficit in the country's current account.
Apparently, spending has exceeded income by £42 billion and we are overdrawn!
The Bank of England has written to Prime Minister Gordon Brown to s...
The Bank of England today revealed it would cease setting interest rates - with the cost of borrowing set at random.
Mervyn King, Bank of England top dog, told reporters outside his West London mansion: "In the current economic environment, if int...
Gordon Brown accepted today that his various attempts to kick-start the economy were probably doomed to failure. He said he was convinced the individual ideas were fine, but kick-starting was a really bad name for it.
"Kick-starting nearly always...
The Bank of England has cut interest rates once again to help to encourage the economy to recover. The cut of 0.00% is seen as a way of cutting the base rate without it going down to zero and punishing lenders.
All previous cuts to the interest r...
Bank of England Governor Mervyn King has announced plans to help kick-start the UK economy by buying toxic losing bets on last Saturday's Grand National.
The race was won by shock 100/1 outsider Mon Mome, leaving millions of punters out of pocket.