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Spider Venom Causes Painful Erections!

Funny story: Spider Venom Causes Painful Erections!

The Brazilian Wandering Spider has repeatedly ranked as the world's most venomous spider to those who study them. You hear a lot about Brown Recluse and Black Widows but these guys are hunters on the ground. They do not try to catch their prey by...

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Dairy Queen Presently Test Marketing A Brand New Dessert Item

Funny story: Dairy Queen Presently Test Marketing A Brand New Dessert Item

MINNEAPOLIS, Minnesota - The Dairy Queen Corporation in a move to increase their sales of ice cream products has just developed a new dessert item. Columbus Vee, a representative with the fast food franchise chain stated that the new item is pres...

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New Vegan Condom Available!

Funny story: New Vegan Condom Available!

A company in Roanoke, Virginia has announced that they have a new "Vegan" condom they call "The Banana Peel" that is the perfect answer for vegans who want to to go natural but don't feel comfortable about wearing a lambskin. "We think we have a b...

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Boogers: they're finger-lickin' good!

"Booger" (also "boogie") is the polite name for snot, a free, delicious, nutritious emergency ration produced, without fanfare, by the nasal mucosa in such abundance that individuals swallow approximately 3.48 gallons per day without realizing it. Boogers are made up of mucin, water, cells, and inorganic salts. Depending upon the size of the serving, a single helping may contain from 10 to 40 c...

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Duchess Of Cambridge In Tears After Unveiling Of Official Portrait!

Funny story: Duchess Of Cambridge In Tears After Unveiling Of Official Portrait!

The Duchess of Cambridge broke down in tears this morning when she and Prince William attended the unveiling of her first official portrait at London's National Gallery. Kate was upset after discovering gorilla artist Paul Emsley had depicted her...

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Banana Cake Stuck To Man's Teeth

Funny story: Banana Cake Stuck To Man's Teeth

An Englishman living in the Thai capital of Bangkok had a narrow escape earlier today, when a banana cake he was eating after his tea became stuck to his teeth, rendering his mouth immobile. Moys Kenwood, 48, originally from Hull in East Yorkshire...

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Chocolate Banana - For Real!

Funny story: Chocolate Banana - For Real!

Scientists at Cardiff University on the Stephen King Sponsored Genetics course have successfully cross-bred bananas and cacao the plant that gives us the most important of foodstuffs, chocolate. "It's brilliant," said head professor of genetics, J...

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Killer Banana Splits After Attacking Gorilla In Ohio

Funny story: Killer Banana Splits After Attacking Gorilla In Ohio

Police in Ohio are searching for what witnesses claim is a giant banana they say jumped out of the bushes and viciously attacked a gorilla doing a promo for a Wireless Phone Center. The manager of the store said that he noticed a banana lurking in...

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Alchemy makes gold from bananas!

Funny story: Alchemy makes gold from bananas!

For thousands of years it has plagued alchemists -how to make gold from base materials. The fabled "Philosophers Stone" the very ingredient needed to transform shit into gold has eluded man - until now! A new discovery by a modern day alchemist ha...

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San Francisco Vegetarian & Humanitarian Claims Bananas Can Stop the Spread of Aids!

Funny story: San Francisco Vegetarian & Humanitarian Claims Bananas Can Stop the Spread of Aids!

A recent medical report released by a part time biologist, medical journal writer, and full time vegetarian claims the regular use of bananas can halt the spread of Aids! Still not tested by the FDA, the report states that a special ingredient in...

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Woman finds family of illegal immigrants in bananas from local supermarket

Funny story: Woman finds family of illegal immigrants in bananas from local supermarket

An elderly widow from Milton Keynes was shocked to discover a family of 8 illegal immigrants sleeping in a bag of Fair Cop bananas she bought from her local supermarket. Fat bag Daisy Upton, 73, said, "Ooh, well, now there's thing. I did think...

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Bent Bananas only is the new EU Rule

Funny story: Bent Bananas only is the new EU Rule

Shops throughout Europe have been banned from selling straight or nearly straight bananas the bananas according to the EU ruling have got to be totally bent or they are to be discarded. Its incredible that they are going to stop shops selling perf...

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Banana company unveil new iPad product

Funny story: Banana company unveil new iPad product

Banana, the world famous computer manufacturer, have revealed a new product today, to the great excitement of their adoring fans. The product, called the "iPad" is a departure from their usual business line - computers for thick people, tiny music...

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Area Man Wondering Why He Buys Bananas Anymore

Harlingen area resident, Christopher Baker continues to wonder why the supply of bananas he bought a week ago have gone uneaten. "I don't buy a lot, like four or five at the most", Baker commented. "You would think that someone in this house woul...

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Banana's in Pajama's are Coming Down the Stairs

Funny story: Banana's in Pajama's are Coming Down the Stairs

Bananas, in pajamas, are coming down the stairs. Bananas, in pajamas, are coming down in pairs. Bananas, in pajamas, are chasing teddy bears, because on Tuesdays, they all try to catch them unawares! People are genuinely fearful of what these gia...

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The "Banana Wars" are now officially over and the Monkees won!

Funny story: The "Banana Wars" are now officially over and the Monkees won!

The "Banana Wars" in Europe, Africa and South America have been going on since 16 years (longer than WW1 and WW2 together) and at last peace has been officially declared. The wars started off when wicked, evil banana conglomerates attempted to ste...

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Banana Hoarding - The Curse Of Modern life

Funny story: Banana Hoarding - The Curse Of Modern life

A new Panorama report for the BBC reveals that one of the greatest threats to the continued existence of the human race is not Global Warming, as championed by Al Gore, but the hoarding and panic buying of bananas. The Panorama special explains to...

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Banana Boy Admits He's The Illegitimate Grandson of Carmen Miranda aka The Tutti Fruitti Hat Lady

Funny story: Banana Boy Admits He's The Illegitimate Grandson of Carmen Miranda aka The Tutti Fruitti Hat Lady

PLANTATION, Florida - The infamous Banana Boy, who's real name is Paquito De Los Platanatitos, confided to Larry King that he is the long lost illegitimate grandson of the Queen of the Cha Cha Cha, the fruit salad hatted Carmen Miranda. Miss Miran...

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Breaking news…

New Bill Would Give Guns Citizenship

Sen. Ted Cruz (TX-R) introduced a bill {BLAKA} that would give guns US citizenship, along with the right to vote and own weapons. Asked about how they felt about this bill a gun said "bang bang click"
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