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Funny story: Ravens new Ray Rice and wife promotion looks like a hit

Ravens new Ray Rice and wife promotion looks like a hit

To honor Ray Rice, the Baltimore Ravens will be giving away bobble head dolls of the star running back's wife. The dolls come with extra springs to heighten the hitting experience. Mark Conn, Ravens promotions director, feels the freebies will giv...
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Funny story: NFL Season Opens With A Bang As President Obama Wins $700 On The Denver Broncos Vs. Baltimore Ravens Game

NFL Season Opens With A Bang As President Obama Wins $700 On The Denver Broncos Vs. Baltimore Ravens Game

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama said that he is thrilled that the NFL football season is finally here. The commander-in-chief talked with Rufus Reno of Sports Balls Illustrated Daily and said that there is nothing he likes better than betting o...
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Funny story: Joe Flacco's Salary Enters the Van Allen Belt

Joe Flacco's Salary Enters the Van Allen Belt

Scientists discovered Joe Flacco's contract details in the new third radiation belt around Earth. Baltimore Ravens quarterback and Super Bowl winner Joe Flacco has gone into outer space with his new high water mark in payroll. His salary is out of...
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Funny story: Super Bowl Versus History of Zombies

Super Bowl Versus History of Zombies

In this age of too many TV channels, one can easily lose control of the remote and end up on an unexpected network. Opposite the Super Bowl, as usual, was Downton Abbey. Most of us can tell the difference between the deathly Dowager Countess and C...
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Funny story: Super Bowl Blackout Blamed On Gisele Bundchen and Anna Welker

Super Bowl Blackout Blamed On Gisele Bundchen and Anna Welker

NEW ORLEANS - National Football League Commissioner Roger Goodell is alleging that the Super Bowl blackout that occurred during the third quarter of Super Bowl XLVII, between the Baltimore Ravens and the San Francisco 49ers, was caused by two well-kn...
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Funny story: NFL on Super Bowl XLVII: "We Did Say Blackout Rules Apply..."

NFL on Super Bowl XLVII: "We Did Say Blackout Rules Apply..."

Useless NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has released a statement, claiming that the blackout that crippled tonight's Super Bowl was Pre-planned. "We did say that blackout rules apply," says the Commissioner, whose heavy-handed, inane Commissioneri...
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Funny story: NFL At Super Bowl XLVII: "The Secondary Sucks, And It Is Your Fault."

NFL At Super Bowl XLVII: "The Secondary Sucks, And It Is Your Fault."

NFL At Super Bowl XLVII: "The Secondary Sucks, And It Is Your Fault." Unnamed sources close to NFL scapegoat-finder / Commissioner Roger Goodell says that he will be issuing a statement tomorrow blaming the shitty play of the cornerbacks and safet...
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Funny story: Super Bowl News: President Obama Bets On The Baltimore Ravens

Super Bowl News: President Obama Bets On The Baltimore Ravens

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Las Vegas oddsmakers have the San Francisco 49ers as 3½ point favorites over the Baltimore Ravens in Super Bowl XLVII (47). Sports Balls Illustrated Daily is reporting that more money will be bet on this year's Super Bowl than i...
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Funny story: Mrs. Wes Welker Apologizes To Ray Lewis of The Baltimore Ravens

Mrs. Wes Welker Apologizes To Ray Lewis of The Baltimore Ravens

BOSTON - It took her ten days, but New England Patriot's wide receiver Wes Welker's wife, Anna has finally issued an apology to Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis. Mrs. Welker, 32, made the apology through Dottie Bazooka a reporter with Sports...
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Funny story: Manti Te'o Has Been Banned From The Super Bowl

Manti Te'o Has Been Banned From The Super Bowl

NEW ORLEANS - The Super Bowl Committee has just announced that it has banned Norte Dame football player and Internet hoax participant Manti Te'o from appearing at Super Bowl XLVII in New Orleans. A committee spokesperson identified as Ebenezer Buc...
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Funny story: Gisele Bundchen Is Reportedly Hiding In Honduras

Gisele Bundchen Is Reportedly Hiding In Honduras

CHICAGO - The word out of the Windy City is that New England Patriot Tom Brady's wife, Gisele Bundchen is alleged to be in hiding somewhere in the jungles of Honduras. Sports Territory Magazine is reporting that the quick-tempered South American e...
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Funny story: Patriots Find the Pendulum Puts Them into Poe's Pit

Patriots Find the Pendulum Puts Them into Poe's Pit

As Oliver Hardy often said to Stan Laurel, "Here's another fine mess…" The Dirty Birds won. The Ravens played for the stuff that dreams are made of…and as Humphrey Bogart told us in the Maltese Falcon, you end up with egg on your face-or dead.
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Funny story: The Ravens Manhandle The Patriots 28-13

The Ravens Manhandle The Patriots 28-13

FOXBORO, Massachusetts - Rufus Reno with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily stated that the way the Ravens crushed the Patriots, 28-13, the team from Clam Chowder Country looked more like Cub Scouts than Patriots. The birds from Baltimore flew into th...
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Funny story: Gisele Bünchen-Brady Says The New England Patriots Will Beat The Baltimore Ravens By 29 points

Gisele Bünchen-Brady Says The New England Patriots Will Beat The Baltimore Ravens By 29 points

BRENTWOOD, California - Gisele Bünchen, the outspoken wife of Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, was lying out by the pool at their $20 million mansion, which she named Casa Touchdown. The infamous underwear model was speaking with Dottie Bazooka of...
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Funny story: The Belichick 'Address' Trumps the Raven 'Nevermore'

The Belichick 'Address' Trumps the Raven 'Nevermore'

Edgar Allen Poe left Boston and moved to Baltimore. If you believe in tracing rivalries to their source, we have the root in our grasp. The Ravens may claim that the AFC game will nevermore allow a Patriot victory-as Brendon Ayanbadejo plays t...
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Funny story: Broncos Lose To The Ravens 38-35 In Overtime - The Tim Tebow Curse Got 'Em!

Broncos Lose To The Ravens 38-35 In Overtime - The Tim Tebow Curse Got 'Em!

DENVER - There were some snow flurries and the temperature was 6 degrees but Baltimore Raven's kicker Justin Tucker's foot was hot as he nailed a 47-yard field goal in overtime to stop Peyton Manning's Denver Broncos dead in their tracks 38-35. Sp...
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Funny story: NFL Presents Upset Weekend: the Biblical Plague on Your House

NFL Presents Upset Weekend: the Biblical Plague on Your House

The NFL has labeled their weekend games of the playoffs incorrectly. The first two games proved to be Upset Weekend, or perhaps more aptly for the vast majority of those in a state of shock: Dyspepsia Weekend. Those countless fans of Peyton Man...
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Funny story: X-Factor's Simon Cowell Says American Idol's Steven Tyler's Rendition of The National Anthem at The Patriots Vs. Ravens Game Will Not Get Him A Yellow Ticket To Hollywood

X-Factor's Simon Cowell Says American Idol's Steven Tyler's Rendition of The National Anthem at The Patriots Vs. Ravens Game Will Not Get Him A Yellow Ticket To Hollywood

FOXBOROUGH, Massachusetts - The New England Patriots defeated the Baltimore Ravens 23-20, for the AFC championship, but it certainly was not due to being inspired by Aerosmith lead singer and American Idol judge Steven Tyler's rendition of "The Star...
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Breaking News...

Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
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