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Funny satire stories about Baked Beans

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Funny story: Brits organisers say sorry as Adele is cut off in full flow

Brits organisers say sorry as Adele is cut off in full flow

LONDON - James Corden today blamed producers for the decision to cut Adele's Brits acceptance speech short because of an overrunning TV schedule. The host of the music awards told the Evening Spoofard it was "awful" to force her off the stage to m...
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Funny story: Warning as container ship breaks wind

Warning as container ship breaks wind

A stranded container ship has finally split in two off the coast of New Zealand. In a massive explosion last month, it spewed out more than 300 containers of baked beans and sprouts, leaving a trail of debris over three miles of shoreline. It is the...
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Funny story: Beans Found In Aldi's Beans Tin

Beans Found In Aldi's Beans Tin

Mature Student Phil Yerboots, 36, from Swindon, got the shock of his adult life today when he opened a tin of his favourite 'Aldi's Own brand' Baked Beans and found nearly a dozen beans inside. 'I thought it was a joke at first, I wasn't amused at...
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Funny story: "Nude Tuna Chunk Molested By Fresh Chipolata" Claims Juanita Juan

"Nude Tuna Chunk Molested By Fresh Chipolata" Claims Juanita Juan

Own up! You didn't realise tuna chunks wore clothes. So the concept of a naked tuna chunk is beyond your fixed imagination. Fair enough. Nobody's forcing you to read this anyway. But if you can't cope with the simple facts of life, get out now! News is flooding down our drainpipe that a mad chipolata committed an improper act on a tuna chunk in a London park last night. The tuna chunk,...
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Funny story: Chaos Strikes International Baked Bean Festival

Chaos Strikes International Baked Bean Festival

The 83rd International Baked Bean Festival at the O2 Arena in London erupted in chaotic scenes as fights broke out between rival groups over the Finest Accompaniment To Baked Beans Award category. Adherents of toast were particularly vociferous, a...
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Funny story: Nude Baked Bean Gobbled By Goldfish

Nude Baked Bean Gobbled By Goldfish

News is dribbling down the drainpipe that a rampant heterosexual goldfish has taken advantage of a nubile celebrity baked bean. The goldfish had invited the baked bean out for a slap-up lunch in a luxury French restaurant. However, what started o...
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Funny story: Baked Beans Finally Catch On In France

Baked Beans Finally Catch On In France

UK baked bean producers are reportedly "ecstatic" about an unprecedented surge in popularity in France and are taking steps to dramatically increase the production figures for the humble haricot in tomato sauce. In a tin. The French have a history...
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Funny story: Isle Of Wight News - Baked Bean Bonanza At Bembridge!

Isle Of Wight News - Baked Bean Bonanza At Bembridge!

News just in - There's been an astonishing twist of events just off the Bembridge shoreline as spectacularly large shoals of baked beans began amassing just yards out to sea. Crowds of local children - many wearing odd socks - who were initially l...
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Funny story: Monster Goldfish Thrives On Diet Of Baked Beans And Chicken Jalfrezi

Monster Goldfish Thrives On Diet Of Baked Beans And Chicken Jalfrezi

NORFOLK - UK - A monster goldfish, over two feet long and weighing in at 27lbs survives on a diet of baked beans and chicken jalfrezi curry, claims owner, Ichabod Brundle, of Beccles. The goldfish, named "Giggsy" after the record breaking Manchest...
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Funny story: "Naga Viper (The World's Hottest) Chilli Goes Well With Baked Beans" Claims Gillingham Goldfish Owner

"Naga Viper (The World's Hottest) Chilli Goes Well With Baked Beans" Claims Gillingham Goldfish Owner

The world's hottest chilli, the Naga Viper - with a stratospheric Scoville Scale rating - goes really nicely when added to can of cheap, own-brand supermarket baked beans, according to claims made by a Gillingham man last night. Goldfish owner and...
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Funny story: Spoof Writer Attributes Overnight Success To Baked Beans

Spoof Writer Attributes Overnight Success To Baked Beans

A soaraway Spoof superstar success, whose brother looks a bit like Charles Hawtrey out of the Carry On films has attributed his success to the regular inclusion of baked beans in his diet. The writer, who can't be named for legal reasons (Reddon)...
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Funny story: Beans Means Fiennes

Beans Means Fiennes

One of Britain's greatest living characters, Sir Ranulph Fiennes is to be honoured forever with an eight feet statue made entirely out of baked beans! The masterpiece will stand in the Adventurers home city of Glasgow and will take over a week to...
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Funny story: Coke and Bush's Baked Bean Recipes Stolen

Coke and Bush's Baked Bean Recipes Stolen

Following a rash of corporate impropriety reports from the financial sector in recent weeks, the spotlight had been removed from other forms of corporate crime taking place in the food and beverage industry. Closely guarded secrets for decades, C...
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Funny story: Baked Beans Price Hits 60-Year High

Baked Beans Price Hits 60-Year High

There was chaos in the financial markets today, when the price of one of the world's most popular commodities - Baked Beans - hit a 60-year high, which was brilliant news for investors. Beans, made from haricot beans, are the staple diet of all 60...
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Funny story: Beans Will Be Banned: Obama

Beans Will Be Banned: Obama

Washington D.C. - In order to save the Earth for future generations the beans will be banned from the stores, Donkey Party runner Barack Obama said here.
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Funny story: Baked Beans off The Menu As Brown Unveils Flatulence Tax

Baked Beans off The Menu As Brown Unveils Flatulence Tax

The chancellor today unveiled a raft of new taxation to deal with the growing threat from greenhouse gases and global warming.
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