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Funny story: No Longer Bringing Home The Bacon

No Longer Bringing Home The Bacon

Processed meat causes cancer! We were so shocked when we read (skimmed it and looked for pictures) the report, through a haze of Shisha smoke, we were outraged. We quickly like two cigarettes each to calm our nerves and called up the most sciency sci...
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Funny story: Target Continues Its Nonsensical Non-Labelling

Target Continues Its Nonsensical Non-Labelling

In its sweep of non-labelling, Target turned the tables on fruit lovers. Not wanting to offend anyone, its fruits, fresh or packaged, will now be thrown into a large bin and with signage: Fruit Flavored Stuff. "If you want a lime for your Coron...
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Funny story: Michigan Woman Wrongly Convicted For Firing Weapon Into McDonald's, Because Bacon

Michigan Woman Wrongly Convicted For Firing Weapon Into McDonald's, Because Bacon

GRAND RAPIDS, MI - A local woman was wrongly found guilty today of firing a shot into the drive-thru window of a McDonald's on February 10, 2015. We say wrongly convicted because the woman, "Shaneka," only fired the weapon into the store at head leve...
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Funny story: Chef Chang to open Bacon! Bacon! Bacon! on St. Patrick's Day

Chef Chang to open Bacon! Bacon! Bacon! on St. Patrick's Day

CHICAGO, ILLINOIS - Bacon! Bacon! Bacon! will open in Chicago on St. Patrick's Day. Famous restauranteur, Chef Chip Chang, explained the theme of his newest Chicago restaurant, "It will be all about pork: pork chops, pork rolls, pork roasts, pork...
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Funny story: 1st International Bacon Olympics Begins Next Month

1st International Bacon Olympics Begins Next Month

KEWANEE, ILLINOIS - Welcome to Kewanee, Illinois, the self-proclaimed Hog Capital of the World, population 12,916, where the 1st International Bacon Olympics will be held the first week of March. If there is any doubt that this small town loves...
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Funny story: Nutritionist Killed In a Tragic Bacon Accident

Nutritionist Killed In a Tragic Bacon Accident

Pocono, Pennsylvania -- Gwendolyn Shopworn, a food researcher from Boston, expired earlier today while attempting to cross Pennsylvania's famous Bushkill Falls on a high wire. "This is a real tragedy," said Pocono Sheriff Snuffy Anastasia. "She'...
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Funny story: Britons Braced For Bacon Shortage

Britons Braced For Bacon Shortage

As if things aren't already bad enough in this septic isle, the devastating revelation that beleagured Britain faces an impending bacon shortage has left plucky Brits reeling. Bacon, a staple ingredient in the 'Full English' and a much heralded bu...
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Funny story: Vegetarians call for a Bacon Ban

Vegetarians call for a Bacon Ban

Vegetarians based in Altrincham, Cheshire, have asked for a complete ban on bacon following the alarming news that more vegetarians have fallen off the wagon due to thinly sliced meat than for any other reason. "It's the smell of cooking bacon," s...
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Funny story: Queen's Jubilee Hat Fashions Turn Edible

Queen's Jubilee Hat Fashions Turn Edible

Never squandering an opportunity to compete against each other in the world of high fashion, several women from the extended Royal Family and other distinguished guests are wearing edible hats for the Queen's Jubilee. One daring creation was a pro...
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Funny story: Food Is A Lie

Food Is A Lie

Multi-million pound companies have been accused of forging 'place of origin' labels to put on their produce to seem more upmarket. It has been discovered they invent whole countries just to avoid putting "made in Slough" on a packet of spam. Back and...
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Funny story: Pie Charts toppled from the best of the the best graphs chart

Pie Charts toppled from the best of the the best graphs chart

In a comparison of forty different kinds of graphs, the pie chart has been declared the most popular with ordinary people who don't understand graphs. "There is something visually appealing about a pie chart," said Hillman Impclub, chief statologi...
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Funny story: Ga Ga Calls It A Day

Ga Ga Calls It A Day

Shy and retiring megastar Lady GaGa has today sensationally quit the showbiz world. Lady GaGa, real name Gaynor Gartside has had enough of living the highlife and called it a day. As her new single once again goes global, she explained her decision to millions of devastated fans world wide. 'This will indeed be my last single. I'm sick and tired of wearing bra's made out of Parma Ham, a...
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Funny story: Desperate Pig Hides All the Family Bacon

Desperate Pig Hides All the Family Bacon

It all seemed so reasonably explainable for the Hawkins' 550 pound pig Larry. At first his dad suddenly disappeared with no warning as well as the 600 pound pig Isabella. "They eloped", Larry said to his self. "Yep, that's what happened, they eloped. Dad always had an eye for the really fat ones and Isabella made Rosie O'Donnell look like a super model". Then his mom was gone the next d...
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Funny story: Pigs Stage Protest Against Bacon Soda in NYC

Pigs Stage Protest Against Bacon Soda in NYC

Just to set the record straight, it was the oink, oink kind of pigs, not the human variety, that gathered in New York City's Grand Central Station last night to protest bacon soda, a new product now offered for sale online. Commuters were sta...
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Funny story: Bacon Tested for Deadly Flu

Bacon Tested for Deadly Flu

Imports of lean bacon from Scandinavia were suspended today as reports confirmed that the bacon was suffering from the Danish variant of swine flu. Three customers contacted the lead importer, when their bacon developed a high temperature and blis...
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Funny story: Hog Warts, Restless Pig Syndrome Also on Rise

Hog Warts, Restless Pig Syndrome Also on Rise

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Even as the World Health Organization struggles to contain a recent outbreak of swine flu, a startling number of other swine related diseases and illnesses have begun to crop up across the globe. "This latest development is esp...
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Funny story: Health Alert: Stop eating bacon butties to avoid swine flu. Corrie Streeet's Roy's Rolls to take bacon butties off menu

Health Alert: Stop eating bacon butties to avoid swine flu. Corrie Streeet's Roy's Rolls to take bacon butties off menu

LONDON, UK: The Health Ministry has issued more swine flu alerts and precautionary measures. The Health Secretary has said: "We are now asking Brits to avoid eating bacon butties - just to be on the safe side". A bitter Onslow Dole and his wife...
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Funny story: Kevin's Bacon Bankrupt

Kevin's Bacon Bankrupt

It's a rags to rags story that has left America stunned - one of it's greatest icons has admitted that he is bankrupt due to the recession that is gripping the world like a clenched fist around a teenage boys erect penis before his first wank. Ke...
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