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Commonwealth Games Roundup: Australian Women Come Top

Funny story: Commonwealth Games Roundup: Australian Women Come Top

The 2018 Commonwealth Games in Australia’s Gold Coast certainly lived up to their unofficial title of the “over-friendly games” in the athletes’ village with the home team’s women proving their strength in sprints, long distance and team events. It w...

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Commonwealth Games Anger as Scotland Men are Disqualified from Hopscotch Event

Funny story: Commonwealth Games Anger as Scotland Men are Disqualified from Hopscotch Event

In an exclusive interview with our sports editor, Paxton Quigley, Scotland’s Team Manager, Jock MacSporran claimed full responsibility for the dismal failure and eventual disqualification of his men’s team from the hopscotch event at the Gold Coast’s...

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China buys Australia using a credit card

Chinese government spokesman Wun Hung Lo has just announced that Australia is now part of China. Speaking from his Beijing penthouse spa Lo said "Using Great Leader For Life Or Eternity, which ever takes longer's, credit card, re haf now bought e...

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Throw Another Chimp In The Sky

*Warning this story may contain lazy stereotypes and bad grammar. Don't judge us but we've got a little bit of a grudge against Australia* Australia is to set up it's own National Space agency to grow it's own space program. With typical Aussie se...

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Australia takes New Zealand Mainland Annexation Party to High Court - Claims invasion is inappropriate

Funny story: Australia takes New Zealand Mainland Annexation Party to High Court - Claims invasion is inappropriate

After the declaration by New Zealand of a hostile takeover, Australian authorities are taking up a desperate fight to save their sovereignty, though bizarrely using the domestic legal system. Foreign Minister strongly condemns invasion as uncalled f...

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North Korea threatens to nuke Australia

Funny story: North Korea threatens to nuke Australia

Chubby despot Kim Jong Un has threatened to fire nuclear weapons at Australia, after the Aussie Prime Minister said he would "stand by the US like a mate at a barbie". The North Korean leader may not have missiles that can reach the US, but Australia...

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Australian traffic-light gender bender lights cause confusion!

Funny story: Australian traffic-light gender bender lights cause confusion!

It is a well known fact the world has gone completely bonkers and now Australia have joined the fun! Their latest set of traffic light lights are causing much confusion in major cities because Australian women's Lib groups are demanding that the tiny...

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To Immigrate or Immigrant?

Australia has announced plans to relax immigration laws on Brits, which is ironic as the Brits have just pulled up their own personal drawbridge to Europe. Riding a kangaroo battle droid (one of several commissioned by the Australian armed forces)...

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Old Aussie golfers never die they just watch snakes devouring wallabies!

Funny story: Old Aussie golfers never die they just watch snakes devouring wallabies!

Ageing Aussie golfers heading towards the eighteenth were caught by surprise as a huge Scrub Python leaped (can they leap?) out of a bush, grabbed a wallaby by the neck and devoured the thing in front of their eyes! Not wishing to interrupt the na...

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Wizards of Oz

Funny story: Wizards of Oz

Sources claim that Australia is to be "moved" so that it can align with a global set of satellites thus making it easier for the government to track our movements via your GPS. Back and to the Left news understands that the plans to move Australi...

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The wheelie-bin war

One of the hottest issues in the upcoming election in the Australian Capital Territory (ACT) is the provision of wheelie-bins to all residents for the containment and removal of 'green' garden waste. The issue goes back a long way and has been con...

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Australia to outlaw all 'psycho-active' substances

The Australian government is planning a blanket ban on all 'psycho-active' substances. A spokesperson for the government said that they are having trouble keeping the list of banned drugs up-to-date. "No sooner do we put a substance on the list" she...

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Speed limits abolished

The Chief Minister of the Australian Capital Territory (ACT), announced yesterday that in legislation passed last week in the ACT Legislative Assembly, all speed limits have been abolished in the ACT. He said that, for the benefit of all motorists a...

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Winter has been abolished, says PM

The Prime Minister announced yesterday that Winter will be abolished from next year. He said "We have had a lot of complaints about the cold weather, particularly from senior citizens, and have decided to do something about it." He added "It will tak...

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GPs to cut consultation fees

The newly elected head of the Australian Medical Association (AMA), Dr James Gibbon, has announced that from next week, General Practitioners (GPs) will cut their consultation fees to $10. This is a cut of about $70 in the cost of the average ten-m...

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Corrupt Union official 'a good bloke' says Premier

The Premier of South Australia (SA) has come out and expressed his Labor government's support for and faith in beleaguered Shop Workers Union secretary Bob Down. Mr Down was recently the focus of a Royal Commission into union corruption in SA. The...

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Editor condemned to death by beheading

In the early hours of this morning the editor of this newspaper was arrested because he permitted publication in yesterday's edition a story detailing the introduction of Sharia Law into Australia. The article was deemed to be 'offensive to Islam' by...

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Australia introduces Sharia Law

The Australian Minister for Culture and Law, Ms Marjory Daw, yesterday announced that Sharia (Islamic) Law will now be part of the Australian legal system. She added, "In response to an unprecedented demand, Sharia Law will be introduced into Austral...

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Breaking news…

The Queen Takes A Knee

The Queen of England takes a knee in front of Trump during the playing of the Stars Spangle Banner, joining the protest.
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