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Funny satire stories about Austerity

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Austerity Authentication

Captain Bellend himself, Philip Hammond, has said “we’re not out of the woods yet” in reference to austerity. The policy that has been condemned by governments all over the world and is killing off the weakest of our population. Philip Said: A...

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Greedy Greeks want more freebies

Funny story: Greedy Greeks want more freebies

ATHENS - Greedy Greeks, accustomed to freeloading off their government, took matters into their own hands when they gathered, supposedly to "protest," in an overcrowded courtroom, preventing a bank's lawyer from appearing before a judge in a "rou...

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North East to observe a minute​​'s silence for victim family suffering austerity who had to cancel Sky subscription

Funny story: North East to observe a minute​​'s silence for victim family suffering austerity who had to cancel Sky subscription

A one minute silence across the North East will be held tomorrow in observation of the loss of a family from Teesside who had to cut their Sky TV subscription due to austerity. As a result, Dan Matthews of Middlesbrough will no longer be able to f...

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Free Viagra for all deserving cases as Brit Top Knobs slug it out for votes

Funny story: Free Viagra for all deserving cases as Brit Top Knobs slug it out for votes

London - Bankers' bonuses in the City of London will be part-paid in Viagra and part in cash in a brand new election initiative by the Conservatives. London-based Hard Times austerity think tank reported today the policy will see bankers able to...

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Cameron to host "I'm In Austerity Britain: Get Me Out Of Here"

Funny story: Cameron to host "I'm In Austerity Britain: Get Me Out Of Here"

A new reality TV game show hosted by David Cameron will debut next week, based around the austerity measures put in place by the Tory government. A staggering 3.6 million contestants will go through various Tory Tucker Trials, such as not crying...

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Customers Frustrated With Sizing of Clothing

Funny story: Customers Frustrated With Sizing of Clothing

And the debate goes on: Are clothes getting smaller, or are we as a population getting bigger? Experts from several industries met at the Hotel Louisville. As they gorged on crab cakes, steamboat roast beef, potatoes, chili, green bean casserole,...

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Beat Austerity Measures With These DIY Xmas Gifts

Funny story: Beat Austerity Measures With These DIY Xmas Gifts

Gift Ipod cover for child's IPod Fold a sheet of ruled writing paper around an IPod. Crease the folds and carefully cut out a window for the screen. Now here's the clever bit: Stick Scotch Tape or Sellotape first across one side of the window and then turn the paper over and do the same. Now fold the paper to the shape of the IPod and Sellotape together allowing an open section to slip...

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Latest Government Austerity Measures Cause Havoc On Nations Pockets

Funny story: Latest Government Austerity Measures Cause Havoc On Nations Pockets

David Cameron, Prime Minister and Conservative, has unveiled his latest tactic in achieving 'permanent austerity' in Britain. Announcing his latest plan at a banquet, held in honour of having expensive parties for people who don't really do anythi...

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Americant Airlines doesn't want you in the cabin

Funny story: Americant Airlines doesn't want you in the cabin

Spokesman Ann T. Sociale of Americant Airlines revealed a new price structure for domestic flights. The move is thought by staff here to be in response to a recent policy shift by another well known airline favoring passengers that do not bring bags...

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Queen Is Miser With Electric Heater

Funny story: Queen Is Miser With Electric Heater

Cash strapped Buckingham Palace is reduced to only having one bar on of the electric heater in the state rooms, revealed a disgruntled insider. "The Queen is a miser and is too mean to keep the heating on" revealed one of her courtiers. "We are red...

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Austerity measures for the Tooth Fairy

Funny story: Austerity measures for the Tooth Fairy

Before decimalisation in the 1970s, it was common for a bob to be left under a pillow in exchange for a tooth. After decimalisation, a bob became ten pence. This state of affairs lasted until the affluent eighties when teeth doubled in value, out pac...

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Prince Philip Funeral Plans Found In Gents Toilet On Hampstead Heath

Funny story: Prince Philip Funeral Plans Found In Gents Toilet On Hampstead Heath

Draft plans for the funeral of Prince Philip have been found stuffed behind a toilet cistern in a gentlemen's toilet on Hampstead Heath. How the documents came to be there remains a mystery. The documents were found by a local kebab shop owner, Ge...

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Nottingham News: For W/E: 29th July 2012 - With Comments

Funny story: Nottingham News: For W/E: 29th July 2012 - With Comments

Sunday 22nd July 2012 Topic: Crime - CCTV "Mower thief caught out by camera in victim's van" Source: This is Nottingham (Stills from the camera included) Extract: An opportunistic thief was captured stealing a lawnmower by a hidden camera in the victim's van. Shauna Ford, 50, of Hucknall, bought the £22 video camera on eBay six months ago. She installed it under the rear-view mir...

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New Greek ruins opening to the international community

Funny story: New Greek ruins opening to the international community

Athens Greece - According to our source, Mr. Pimpleonizbuto, curator, the ruins of ancient Greece have been supplanted with the ruins of modern Greece. The new ruins are available for international touring now. Unlike the ancient ruins of Greec...

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Monopoly updated to reflect the current economic uncertainty

Funny story: Monopoly updated to reflect the current economic uncertainty

Monopoly, the world's most popular bored game, has had several incarnations, mainly by using different cities or the Simpsons. Now, MasterBate games have announced that the game will be getting its first major revision since the addition of the Scott...

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European Union To Ban Austerity

Funny story: European Union To Ban Austerity

In an unprecedented show of unity 26 of the 27 European Member States agreed to ban the word austerity from their respective languages. As expected, Greece used its' veto against the proposal before releasing the following statement; "In the off...

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Austerity backlash nixes central banks' stock splurging

Funny story: Austerity backlash nixes central banks' stock splurging

MUNICH - Ben Bernanke announced at a press conference here today that he was sorry. No more money could be funneled through the central banks of Europe to keep the stock markets afloat. He blamed it on democracy, as exemplified in Greece. "Now...

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Merkel to define ghetto zones

Funny story: Merkel to define ghetto zones

BERLIN - According to Austrailian sources, maps are being redrawn showing vast areas of Europe in a dark drab shade of grey. An Austrailian print shop leaked copies of a redrawn map of Europe ordered by the German government. The maps show area...

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