There are reports that male Republicans are being attacked and swallowed up by giant vaginas. The flying sex organs have been spotted in several major cities across the U.S. In what appears to be a kind of subversive sting operation, the female genit...
A New York man is claiming he was stalked then ambushed by a pack of marauding predator cougars while minding his own business in Manhattan.
John Turner, 25, says he was badly shaken by the ordeal and is now seeking therapy however his physical in...
Friday the thirteenth is a day to be feared. Many people choose to stay in bed on the traditionally unlucky day, named after the slasher film franchise starring the un-killable Jason Vorhees.
But few suffer the misfortune that befell Terry Gilchri...
A clan of destructive "fairytale" dwarfs are causing carnage throughout Europe.
Their first sightings were said to be in Germany on February 25th where a American tourist was burnt to a crisp by one of the dwarfs. They have later been spotted in F...
In the aftermath of the attack on Rupert Murdoch today the National Pie in the Face Association once again strongly defended the right of all citizens to own custard pies.
Morpheus Crown, nation chairman of the NPITFA, strongly condemned the unpr...
Locals in the harbour town of Brixham have been left 'seriously perturbed', say emergency service personnel, after witnessing a vicious and unprovoked attack on the quayside.
Witnesses say that an unnamed woman was eating a choc-ice whilst staring...
It seems dogs really have got an understanding. As reported yesterday, violent dog owner Terry Beard, 42, from a Council Estate bit his West Highland Terrier Wesley for no apparent reason.
Wesley is well known on the estate as he walks with a pro...
A stupid boy was attacked by an otter yesterday. The youth was capturing the cute little otter on his cell phone when all hell broke loose.
The otter was sunning himself on the grass when the boy approached saying, "oh, look at the cute little o...
A team of cleaning ladies in France sick to death of their pay and conditions decided to start robbing supermarket and shop tills using an ingenious invention, their Hoovers.
They did a series of day-light robberies dressed in aprons and masking t...
Authorities in Maryland say a woman accused of squirting semen onto two male shoppers has been linked to three more cases.
The lady who was arrested and charged with spraying the fluid on a shopper at a Giant Food store said that she has volunteer...
Britain's most intelligent man, Bolero McSwansong from Swansea was recovering at home this morning after being inexplicably assaulted by a strange man armed with a soup spoon.
The incident occurred at 01:30am this morning as McSwansong emerged fro...
WASHINGTON DC - An incident report stating that President Obama had been "threatened" about 10 weeks after being sworn into office may have had "omissions." A Secret Service spokesman stated, "a more accurate description of the event would be to the...
3200 KMS West of the Australian Coastline
Eye witnesses on an Australian QANTAS aircraft sent to locate missing world circumnavigation sailor ABBY SUNDERLAND claim to have seen several Israeli Blackhawk helicopters circling Abby Sunderland's yacht...
A 13 year old boy was attacked in the bathroom of a local D.C. zoo by an aged and disoriented cougar. The boy, his identity is being withheld to protect him from Barney Frank, is in good condition but the same can not be said for Nancy Pelosi.
"Oh...
Katie Price was viciously attacked today at a book signing of her latest bestselling novel, Toilet Paper. The attack came when 14 starving novelists broke ranks with her many devoted fans and started throwing volumes of Keats, Tolkien and Raymond Fie...
(Defecated News) Troubled controversial Italian Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi, yesterday underwent major reconstructive facial surgery following the horrific attack by a 'toy-church-wielding psychopath'.
The 73 year old billionaire suffered fa...
The BBC has decided that the Trip-Hop/Electronica band Massive Attack were responsible for the intentional Distributed Denial of Service assault on the Twitter website. It is thought that the band may have been attempting to stop Twitter users from...
Malibu, CA - A 12 foot rubber shark off Malibu beach, intended to be used as a guerilla marketing ploy promoting the premiere of a specialty channel program about sharks, has attracted several other sharks to the area. The result is that at least 17...