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Meteorologists Are Now Predicting That The Atlantic Ocean Could Freeze

Funny story: Meteorologists Are Now Predicting That The Atlantic Ocean Could Freeze

NEW YORK CITY - Several well-respected U.S. meteorologists are reporting that the harsh winter will continue to get worse and they are now predicting that as amazing as it may sound, the Atlantic Ocean could end up totally freezing. Tilapia Frisbe...

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Penguins Eyeing East Coast as Potential New Habitat

Funny story: Penguins Eyeing East Coast as Potential New Habitat

BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS - Penguins have been spotted swimming in the icy coastal waters off Boston with a look of delight in their beady little eyes. Much to the delight of avid East Coast birdwatchers, it is suspected that the aquatic creatures, who...

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Oceanic Scientists Report That Someone Has Stolen One Of The Titanic's Smokestacks

Funny story: Oceanic Scientists Report That Someone Has Stolen One Of The Titanic's Smokestacks

NEW YORK CITY - A team of five American oceanic scientists have just reported that one of the four Titanic smokestacks is missing. The ship, which hit an iceberg and sank on April 14, 1912, is resting at a depth of 12,600 feet on the Atlantic Ocea...

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Woman Survives Floating In The Icy North Atlantic For 37 Days

Funny story: Woman Survives Floating In The Icy North Atlantic For 37 Days

RYE, New Hampshire - The United States Coast Guard has informed the public that they have rescued a New Hampshire woman identified as Candace Buttercastle, 42, who was found floating in the freezing waters of the North Atlantic for an amazing 37 days...

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The Atlantic Ocean Will Run Out of Tuna Fish By March 1, 2014

Funny story: The Atlantic Ocean Will Run Out of Tuna Fish By March 1, 2014

PROVINCETOWN, Massachusetts - The New England Department of Fishing has just issued a statement dealing with the East Coast fishing industry. NED of F Assistant Director of Operations Blumenthal H. Persimmon, 49, has said that according to predict...

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James Cameron Insensitive to Titanic 'Victims'

Funny story: James Cameron Insensitive to Titanic 'Victims'

Victims who in 1997 had been subjected to James Cameron's Titanic, and many others who had subsequently been affected by watching his film, are protesting at the film being raised from the depths of bad 90s film hell in a new 3D format. 'It's dis...

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A Huge Meteorite The Size of Kirstie Alley, Gabourey Sidibe, and David Crosby Combined Just Barely Misses Hitting The 'Right Coast'

Funny story: A Huge Meteorite The Size of Kirstie Alley, Gabourey Sidibe, and David Crosby Combined Just Barely Misses Hitting The 'Right Coast'

PHILADELPHIA - NASA's Office of Meteorological Unusual Incidents reported that on Valentine's Day, a huge meteorite almost hit Dover, Delaware but ended up landing in the Atlantic Ocean instead. Galahad Fenkershill, chief director of NASA's OMUI t...

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Neanderthals Sailed the Atlantic

Funny story: Neanderthals Sailed the Atlantic

Neanderthal News Network, Louisburg, Nova Scotia. Leif Erickson's buddies, and other Viking types, were in the new world long before Columbus. Now Archeologists have unearthed startling evidence that Neanderthals sailed the Atlantic thirty thousa...

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East Coast Storm to Bring Eight Inches, Men Celebrate

Funny story: East Coast Storm to Bring Eight Inches, Men Celebrate

The National Weather Service has announced a winter storm warning for the bulk of the Atlantic coast, while the storm is expected to bring an additional six to eight inches of thick measurable depth. Chief Doppler Radar forecaster, Ivana Hardmen,...

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Obama To Close Atlantic And Pacific Oceans

Funny story: Obama To Close Atlantic And Pacific Oceans

In an effort to exert total control over all aspects of American life, high ranking far-left liberal members of the Obama administration and Congress are rumored to be holding secret talks among themselves regarding closing the oceans bordering the U...

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Human powered sub plagued by silly names

Funny story: Human powered sub plagued by silly names

Ted Ciamillo decided that for his fortieth birthday he would build a human powered submarine and cross the Atlantic in it. However, his project is being plagued by people with silly names. Firstly, there is his marine biologist friend, who has sec...

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Reputable Journals Like the Atlantic Ocean Annual Cast Doubt on Palin's Child's Legitimacy

Funny story: Reputable Journals Like the Atlantic Ocean Annual Cast Doubt on Palin's Child's Legitimacy

The Atlantic Ocean Annual continues to report that Sarah and Todd Palin's child Trig is not their biological offspring! Evidence of a late pregnancy announcement and photos of a not pregnant Palin weeks before the birth seem to support the reports.

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Lollipop stick ship sails for England

Funny story: Lollipop stick ship sails for England

A Viking ship made from lollipop sticks set sail for England from the Netherlands on Tuesday.

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I, E.T. McCrone May Be Down, But I'm Comin' Up!

Funny story: I, E.T. McCrone May Be Down, But I'm Comin' Up!

True it is, dear supporter, I, E.T. McCrone hasn't won even one delegate in either party in my run for first Prezminister of the USUK. This may have somethin to do with the fact that me name hasn't been on any ballot in either party or on any side of the Atlantic, this month or no other. But loyal supporter, you dasn't let that mere trifle dishearten ye. I, E.T. McCrone still believes...

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Scientists to Drain Atlantic Ocean

Funny story: Scientists to Drain Atlantic Ocean

Jacksonville, FL (IP) - U.S. scientists have begun a project that will drain the entire Atlantic ocean in order to find a suspected leak. This has resulted in civil unrest on the expanding shoreline. Ocean side residents have been picking up fish f...

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U.S. Army denies elephant-size, flesh-eating plankton linked to toxic dump in ocean

Funny story: U.S. Army denies elephant-size, flesh-eating plankton linked to toxic dump in ocean

After a series of grizzly attacks of swimmers along America's East Coast beaches by mammoth, flesh-hungry plankton, the Army issued a statement today denying that the mutant sea creatures were linked to the dumping of 64 million pounds of nerve a...

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I, ET McCrone Wants Your Money!

I, ET McCrone have tried to persuade you, gentle voters, to support my project to become PrezMinister of the USUK. I have beg, proposed and lured you with my ingenious ideas like the Dental dam across the Lake, my Lincoln-Elizabeth Tunnel across the Atlantic and other brilliant schemes. I have told you my story of rising up as an elevlift operator from Liverpool through nyc to Tucson, az. Thus my...

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French Government to stop obese Americans at French Airports

Funny story: French Government to stop obese Americans at French Airports

The French government delivered what is widely regarded as a calculated snub to America today when Jaques Chiracs ruling party passed legislation through the senate enabling immigration officers to refuse entry to passengers disembarking from trans A...

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Breaking news…

The Only Way to Get the Palestinians to the Table

Our Middle East correspondent M. Voltaire opines: If you want PLO/Hamas to come to the Peace Table, set out copious quantities of rancid cheese --it's the only enticing incentive for street rats.
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