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Pelosi Finally Gets Committed After Saying GOP Winning Senate Would End Civilization

Funny story: Pelosi Finally Gets Committed After Saying GOP Winning Senate Would End Civilization

San Francisco, CA - House Minority leader Nancy Pelosi has finally been committed to an unnamed mental health facility for her own good, as well as the benefit of the rest of society. All that is really known about the facility is that it is located...

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Majority of Illegal Immigrant Children Approved for Asylum, But Which One?

Funny story: Majority of Illegal Immigrant Children Approved for Asylum, But Which One?

Texas - According to the House Judiciary Committee, two-thirds of illegal children who have requested asylum after crossing our southern border will be admitted and allowed to stay in our country. But why would any child want to live their lif...

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Justin Bieber Proudly States That Vladimir Putin Has Offered Him Asylum

Funny story: Justin Bieber Proudly States That Vladimir Putin Has Offered Him Asylum

DETROIT - Justin Bieber performed before a less than sold out crowd at The Carburetor Coliseum in MoTown. After the concert he spoke backstage with Calcutta Cotton of Music Moments Magazine. Miss Cotton asked him if he still feared that he coul...

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Edward Snowden Claims He Hacked NASA, the Pentagon, and Oprah Winfrey

Funny story: Edward Snowden Claims He Hacked NASA, the Pentagon, and Oprah Winfrey

MOSCOW - Edward Snowden recently stated to Russia's national news agency, Vodkavich that he is very grateful to President Putin for having taken him in and granted him asylum. Snowden remarked that there is no one in the entire world who has more...

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Putin's daughter Yekaterina files for US political asylum

Funny story: Putin's daughter Yekaterina files for US political asylum

New York - Outed as the secret eminence grise behind notorious Russian protest band Pussy Riot President Vladimir Putin's younger daughter has fled her Kiev, Ukraine safe house on a one way ticket to the USA. Yekaterina Yemiddletona arrived at JF...

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Edward Snowden Verifies That He Is Dating Vladimir Putin's Niece

Funny story: Edward Snowden Verifies That He Is Dating Vladimir Putin's Niece

NEW YORK CITY - American NSA whistleblower and now resident of Russia, Edward Snowden stated to Russia's national news agency, Vodkavich that he is thrilled with having been granted asylum in Russia. He also added that he loves his new job as dire...

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'You've got me under your thumb, so deep in the heart you're really a part of me . . . '

Funny story: 'You've got me under your thumb, so deep in the heart you're really a part of me . . . '

The Guard Dog is pleased to announce an exclusive report connected to the four South American Presidents currently in the spotlight regarding the Edward Snowden affair. These Presidents are Nicolas Maduro of Venezuela, Daniel Ortega of Nicaragua, Evo Morales of Bolivia, and Rafael Correa of Ecuador. In review, Edward Snowden, ex-employee of Booz Allen Hamilton who blew the whistle on massiv...

Read full story View ''You've got me under your thumb, so deep in the heart you're really a part of me . . . ''

Assange In Great Escape Bid

Funny story: Assange In Great Escape Bid

Wikileaks boss and wannabe lothario, Julian Assange, is believed to be going stir crazy, as he has now been holed up in the Ecuadorian embassy for over two months. Embassy sources claim Assange's mood has darkened further since he was granted asyl...

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Assange fury after emails hacked

WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange is planning to quit his refuge in the Ecuadorean embassy in London after accusing officials there of reading his emails. Assange, who ran screaming into the embassy in June claiming asylum in a bid to avoid ext...

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"Abominable Snowman cannot be deported" says Rights Group

Funny story: "Abominable Snowman cannot be deported" says Rights Group

Human rights group Sanctuary International say they will fight any moves to have a Tibetan asylum seeker deported. Mr Yeti, 46, a lecturer at Kings College and the only living example of the legendary 'abominable snowman' ever recorded, is accuse...

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Abominable Snowman claims asylum

Funny story: Abominable Snowman claims asylum

The mysterious and elusive Yeti, believed to be the missing link between humans and the great apes, has finally been discovered. Standing seven feet and with thick white fur, the existence of this large primate thought to have evolved from the gr...

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Aussies trying to export their asylum seekers

The Australian Federal Government is asking everyone to pretend it's going to be OK to send asylum seekers who land illegally in Australia to Malaysia for processing. Australian Immigration Minister Chris Bowen said today: "Look, we know everyone...

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Antonio Banderas Admits He Has Forgotten How to Speak Spanish - Claims Asylum in Spain

Funny story: Antonio Banderas Admits He Has Forgotten How to Speak Spanish - Claims Asylum in Spain

The Spanish actor who was discovered by Melanie Griffith on a shopping tripping to Madrid, has made a shocking revelation, that he has forgotten how to speak Spanish due to his wife. Banderas has now claimed asylum in his home country of Spain, s...

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Gaddafi's Nurse Applies For Asylum

Funny story: Gaddafi's Nurse Applies For Asylum

A Ukranian nurse, once said to be "close to" Libyan leader Colonel Gaddafi, has applied for asylum in Norway. Galyna Kolotnyska was evacuated from Libya earlier on in the year after the troubles escalated and she went home to Ukraine for a while i...

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UK households forced to take in asylum seekers

Funny story: UK households forced to take in asylum seekers

The problem of immigration and asylum-seekers continues to dominate the news, not least the problem of where to locate the large numbers of applicants, whilst their individual cases are being processed. A leaked government document suggests that e...

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Asylum Seekers Monthly Editor E. Scape

Welcome. Dis month, I am tellin you regardin de Mr Onikubu an hees entry into the England country. Mr. Onikubu, am comin from the Nigera an very sad he say he is criminal. when I am ask why, he say in England country, if fall off back of lorry, is criminal. He come here back of skip lorry, when it get to Dover, it tip him out, he really did fall off back of lorry! Poor Mr. Onikubu, he no...

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Future asylum seekers will have to prove they are gay

Funny story: Future asylum seekers will have to prove they are gay

Mr T from Cameroon and Priscilla Tickle from Iran have won a landmark immigration appeal, overturning the decision to deport them, which had been based on them being able to conceal their horniness in their barbaric home countries. However this is...

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Two South African Lesbians Granted Asylum In England But They Must Leave Their Vuvuzelas In South Africa

Funny story: Two South African Lesbians Granted Asylum In England But They Must Leave Their Vuvuzelas In South Africa

LONDON - Jontussa Buffatunga and Malikeesha Quancha, two lifelong residents of Cape Town, South Africa have applied for and been granted asylum by the English government. Buffatunga said that the couple had applied and been turned down by 17 count...

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Breaking news…

Trump Jr. Says That He Always Wanted to Be Separated From His Parents

That's why he can't understand the consternation at the border with kids being taken from parents.
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