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Early on, Planet Earth looked like a giant jelly doughnut, scientists theorize

Funny story: Early on, Planet Earth looked like a giant jelly doughnut, scientists theorize

The latest in science news theorizes that the earth was originally a Synestia - it took on a giant jelly doughnut shape early in its history, about 4.5 billion years ago. Some scientists believe the earth was originally a blob of mostly vaporized...

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New Planet is Actually Peanut Butter on the Hubble Telescope's Lens

Funny story: New Planet is Actually Peanut Butter on the Hubble Telescope's Lens

Outer Space In retraction of a news flash yesterday about a new planet in our Solar System discovered, astronomers sheepishly admitted that the planet they had discovered and named "New Kid on the Block" after the astronomer's favorite childhood ban...

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It Is What It Is, Isn't It?

Funny story: It Is What It Is, Isn't It?

Much like the mysterious dark matter that astrophysicists have been hypothesizing about since the 1930s, metaphysicians this week announced that "It is what it is--isn't." Explained Dr. Cecile Plotinus, who teaches a course in the Pre-Socratic ph...

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Scientist Fires Missile and Accidentally Destroys Pluto

Funny story: Scientist Fires Missile and Accidentally Destroys Pluto

Huntsville, AL An astronomer/scientist at the Space Science Lab, who has so far managed to remain anonymous, has admitted to accidentally destroying Pluto with a nuclear missile. "I meant to hit the zoom so I could get a closer look at this three-...

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Cool Sounding "Planet X" draws attention away other more worthwhile celestial bodies

Funny story: Cool Sounding "Planet X" draws attention away other more worthwhile celestial bodies

Theoretical planet, Planet X is again making headlines despite the fact that there are curious discoveries on other real, existing planetary bodies. Planet X, also known as Nibiru (another cool sounding alias), is an undiscovered enormous planet...

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God reveals he uses mirrors to make universe look bigger

Funny story: God reveals he uses mirrors to make universe look bigger

Scientists have discovered that the universe isn't is a big as previously thought. Suspicions started when a NASA satellite crashed into a large reflective surface found out in the Andromeda system. Many believed that a short circuit in the vessel h...

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Universe's inflation discovery proves Big Bang expansion, causing thousands of couples to break up.

Funny story: Universe's inflation discovery proves Big Bang expansion, causing thousands of couples to break up.

Earlier this week, a team of physicists from Harvard (ever heard of it?) provided direct evidence of cosmic inflation. If validated, this would be the smoking gun for the Big Bang model of the creation of the universe. While the scientific world...

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Fox Series "Cosmos" Host Tyson Under Attack

The new Fox Cosmos series, hosted by the now-familiar-to-TV-watchers Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson, has upset anti-science conservative Christians. Besides being enraged by Tyson's statement that "the theory of evolution, like the theory of gravity, is a...

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Neil DeGrasse Tyson to Star in Sex and the City Spinoff

Noted astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson has come to terms with producers to star in a new television series on Fox. Co-starring with Tyson are Sarah Jessica Parker and Cynthia Nixon, former stars of the hit series Sex in the City, upon which the new...

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Nosy scientist causes cosmic stink

SOSO, Oklahoma-- Dr. Ima Voyeur, an astronomer peeping at the sun through a telescope, was blinded by the light, realizing that it's not polite to peer at heavenly bodies without their knowledge and consent. The sun was in the midst of undressing,...

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Bizarre Alien Civilization Actually Likes Telemarketers

Funny story: Bizarre Alien Civilization Actually Likes Telemarketers

WASHINGTON, D.C. At a press conference yesterday,astronomer Dr. Stella Nightley (Ph.D, THC, LSD) announced that her team had discovered a new planet forty light-years from Earth. Thanks to the unprecedented power of the revolutionary new telescope a...

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Astronomers Say Orion's Belt On Last Hole--Obesity Epidemic Blamed

Orion's Belt, part of the constellation Orion, has expanded to the point that it's down to its final belt hole, a renowned scientist said today. Dr. Huang O'Flaherty, addressing the International Astronomical Union, told attendees, "Good morning...

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Innovative astronomer tries to "sneak up" on Saturn

Amateur astronomer Nils Snowberry explained how he has been trying to observe the ringed planet "when it wasn't aware he was looking." Snowberry said he could swear that the ring structure shifts in angle when he takes too long to set up his te...

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Scientists discover sugar in the Milky Way

Funny story: Scientists discover sugar in the Milky Way

Washington - Dr. P. Knut of the International Space Station has discovered a star in the Milky Way surrounded by sugar. The sugar was detected using sensitive instruments that can tell the molecular structure and composition of tiny hunks of sugar l...

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Spoof Horoscopes for September 2012

Funny story: Spoof Horoscopes for September 2012

Aries March 21st - April 19th Your must win at any cost attitude must be kerbed this September, for the sake of the less violent people around you, and to help prevent the high risk levels from the 4th to the 11th, of your making yourself look a bigger prat than usual. Especially if fail to think before talking! Your silent but deadly passing of wind, will reach new heights around the 14th,...

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Pluto...a planet again?

Funny story: Pluto...a planet again?

Two years after being demoted to the status of "interesting asteroid" Pluto may regain the title of planet after a fourth moon was found orbiting the distant object. Pluto was not spotted until 1921, and was thought to be planet sized due to it's...

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Dark matter is out, sticky matter is in

Funny story: Dark matter is out, sticky matter is in

In theoretical physics and cosmological circles there has been a good mannered debate raging for several decades over what is holding all the matter in galaxies together. "It's quite simple," said Brian Cox, presenter of The Sky At Night. "When we...

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Twitter In Meltdown As First Extraterresterial Opens Account

Funny story: Twitter In Meltdown As First Extraterresterial Opens Account

We all know about Twitter and its popularity in celeb circles; attracting as it does accounts by A-Listers as diverse as Britney Spears and the Dalai Lama. But now in what's believed to be first for the micro blogging site, Garok, an extraterrestrial...

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Breaking news…

New Bill Would Give Guns Citizenship

Sen. Ted Cruz (TX-R) introduced a bill {BLAKA} that would give guns US citizenship, along with the right to vote and own weapons. Asked about how they felt about this bill a gun said "bang bang click"
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