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Funny story: Radical process will restore the coal industry to its glory days

Radical process will restore the coal industry to its glory days

Osucit, Japan - Ken Assosuka of the Osucit Power and Light Company held a press conference today to reveal a new process for burning coal that reduces CO2 emissions to zero. The new process captures the CO2 and uses it to carbonate saki, orange juic...
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Funny story: The Sulk Institute Announces the New Universal Vaccination Mandate

The Sulk Institute Announces the New Universal Vaccination Mandate

La Jolla, CA - Lizzy Lackbrain of the Sulk Institute held a major press conference today at noon to announce a new policy that will forever change how mankind protects itself from disease causing organisms. Babys, children and adults will no long...
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Funny story: Meals on Wheels is Feeding People

Meals on Wheels is Feeding People

Savanna, Georgia - As previously reported in the Main Stream Your a Nation here the Meals on Wheels program is short on money to buy food. As Betty Doogooder reported many of the hungry relying on the food delivery service are poor, sick, blind...
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Funny story: Trump names Sanders Secretary of Education

Trump names Sanders Secretary of Education

Trump Tower, New York - Our reporter stationed outside the elevator at Trump Tower noticed a strange event Sunday night at around dinner-time. A bag of KFC was brought to the elevator lobby where the Secret Service inspected the chicken, fries and b...
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Funny story: Hillary sells her witches paraphernalia on EBAY

Hillary sells her witches paraphernalia on EBAY

Clinton Estate - According to our anonymous source, who wishes to be known only as "Bill", Hillary has been secluding herself in the basement where she has collected all her witches equipment: Broom with extra thick handle, black candles made from th...
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Funny story: Zombies rush Hatian jailers

Zombies rush Hatian jailers

ARCAHATE, Haiti -- Two thousand naked Hatians forced their way past screws into the local jail here, Warden Yozambie Yomama said on the record. The interlopers were suffering from exposure, starvation, zombification, and the Clinton Foundation, a...
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Funny story: Chinese submarine detects ping from crocodile

Chinese submarine detects ping from crocodile

Broadway - Acording to I. Copeeyu of the Chinese fleet command, what was thought to be the ping of the MH370 flight recorder turned out to be a protester previously fed to a crocodile and dumped in the sea by the Chinese. Wufu Chifat was found gu...
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Funny story: FDA and EPA join forces to combat new death by aspartame study

FDA and EPA join forces to combat new death by aspartame study

Washington D.C. - As the United States Federal government is about to run out of cash, our sources report that the FDA and the EPA are about to re-launch aspartame as a vitamin. In the light of a recent study showing that aspartame kills women (...
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Funny story: MH370 brought down by BUAS

MH370 brought down by BUAS

Diego Garcia - After landing safely at Diego Garcia military base, on March 8, MH370 set off with most passengers on board today, again under remote control. All boarded passengers and crew were served aspartame laced drinks to reduce the antici...
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Funny story: Device that detects GMO food ruled terrorist

Device that detects GMO food ruled terrorist

Washington DC - The FDA today ruled that a new device that detects contaminated food is a terrorist device since it can be used to damage corporations producing GMO foods. Dr. Strange Death, spokesman for the FDA, made the announcement to a packed...
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Funny story: Police now training: Glasses can be guns

Police now training: Glasses can be guns

Chicago - Police spokesperson S. Wineburger of the Chicago Police Department announced today that anyone pointing glasses at police conducting official business may be shot. It was previously reported here that police are now trained to shoot anyo...
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Funny story: Owning a dog good for the heart: RISK

Owning a dog good for the heart: RISK

New studies have shown that owning a dog can be good for your heart, but has the risk of exposing you to malodorous digestive byproducts commonly produced in the large intestine when certain bacteria are present in combination with certain foodstuffs...
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Funny story: New Yorkers draw line in the sand

New Yorkers draw line in the sand

New York NY - Police attempted to restore order today in Times Square amid a tumult of rioting fat people. Spokesperson Ms. Phat Derrierey explained why protest had turned to violence. "It's that ban an large sugary drinks. We all decided that e...
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Funny story: High school student manufactures gold from lead

High school student manufactures gold from lead

Golden, CO - From a town named Golden comes a discovery that is about to make the precious metal as cheap as lead. Apple Creek High School student Lanny Auris has developed a cheap process to make gold from lead, in his basement using only common ho...
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Funny story: Major retailers to put out barf buckets Thanksgiving afternoon

Major retailers to put out barf buckets Thanksgiving afternoon

Plymouth, Mass - Mal*Wart, JC Farthings, and Maced stores all plan to open right after millions of giant turkey dinners are consumed. Who wants to wait for Black Friday? According to Dr. Drew Upbird, medical consultant to the retail industry, con...
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Funny story: Ozzy Osbourne has brain surgically removed to prevent Alzheimer's

Ozzy Osbourne has brain surgically removed to prevent Alzheimer's

Ozzy's House - Following the lead of his wife who cut off her breast to prevent cancer, Ozzy has had most of his brain cut out in a bold attempt to prevent Alzheimer's. His wife had this to say. "I think it has really improved his disposition. He...
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Funny story: Romney diet drink proven to be fake

Romney diet drink proven to be fake

Washington DC - According to Miss Adelle Bowersocks 1232C Upswine Gardens, Romney is not really drinking diet soda, as he appears to be. Miss Adelle was cleaning up after a $200,000.00 a plate dinner when she tasted what appeared to be left over die...
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Funny story: Scientists discover sugar in the Milky Way

Scientists discover sugar in the Milky Way

Washington - Dr. P. Knut of the International Space Station has discovered a star in the Milky Way surrounded by sugar. The sugar was detected using sensitive instruments that can tell the molecular structure and composition of tiny hunks of sugar l...
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Breaking News...

Harvey Weinstein ejaculated from Motion Picture Academy

In an emergency meeting of the Motion Pictue Academy, reviewing the sexual antics of Weinstein until, in a crescendo of passion, they ejaculated him all the way to New Jersey, land of the creeps.
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