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Funny story: New Jersey Boardwalk Fire Will Be Ruled "Accidental"

New Jersey Boardwalk Fire Will Be Ruled "Accidental"

NEW YORK, NY - Investigators have determined that the fire last week that destroyed 68 businesses on the boardwalk in Seaside Park, N.J., was not set intentionally, according to the person who was seen running from the fire with an empty gas can.
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Funny story: Nottingham men in naked Wiccan arson romp

Nottingham men in naked Wiccan arson romp

Nottingham - A packed court has heard how two Nottingham pagans used an ancient 'skyclad' rite as a bit of an excuse for a spot of naked romping around a makeshift indoor fire. The Meadows residents Mr A Mughal and Mr T Williams shed their inhibit...
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Funny story: River cottage arson attack?

River cottage arson attack?

Foppish pig fiddler Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall was today at the centre of an arson inquiry, after the landmark river cottage was burnt down. Curly haired Hugh a celebrity chef known for his trademark lack of food hygiene and eating pigs testicles...
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Funny story: What the blazes 'couple tried blowing up car with flaming tampons'??

What the blazes 'couple tried blowing up car with flaming tampons'??

Pennsylvania - "At this stage we don't yet know what they used as a dipstick to check the vehicle's oil levels," a Harrisonville patrolman said today, "maybe it's best left to the imagination." His comments come as a Metal Township couple was char...
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Funny story: England Riots: Public Enemy Number One

England Riots: Public Enemy Number One

England was tonight bracing itself for yet another night of civil unrest and rioting. Violence and destruction is no longer confined to London and the London boroughs, and has now spread as far as Manchester and Leeds, Bristol, Wolverhampton and Birm...
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Funny story: Bong fires of the vanities erupt over Britain

Bong fires of the vanities erupt over Britain

London - A spate of nationwide arson attacks was being blamed today on dodgy 'bongs' similar to one that caused the 1666 Great Fire of London. Ministry of Skunk sources issued an immediate recall of the entire 'Zomby' range of imported hookahs fol...
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Funny story: Koongal's Privates Go Up In Blaze

Koongal's Privates Go Up In Blaze

British socialite Bettina, Duchess of Koongal, 50, got the shock of her life when she returned from a Tahitian getaway only to discover that her luxurious 16th century mansion had fallen victim to an arsonist who has so far torched more than a dozen...
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Funny story: Lesbianism blamed for Ford jail arson

Lesbianism blamed for Ford jail arson

Sussex - (Wormwood Scrubbers): Ministry of Justice bosses today blamed Ford Open Prison's openly gay woman governor for the weekend's rioting that burnt down the jail. 'Mean looking' Sharon Williams apparently sparked the blaze that caused £3milli...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Arson suspected in chippy fire

Isle of Wight News - Arson suspected in chippy fire

Hopeless Street chip-shop in Ventnor is the centre of a police investigation after a fire broke out there at 10:30pm Monday morning. Regular Isle of Wight News readers, and even some of those with constipation, will recall our recent survey to fin...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Mysterious Arsonist Strikes Again

Isle of Wight News - Mysterious Arsonist Strikes Again

Police are hunting a pair of youths who are believed to be behind a series of arson attacks on dry stone walls around Shorwell. "There are a couple of young lads we'd like to speak to," said police constable Michelle Gonmad. "We have a fair idea who they are, on account of there not being very many youths in the Shorwell area." The border wall for Westcourt Farm, on the road to Limerstone ha...
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Funny story: Jesus Guilty Of Arson?

Jesus Guilty Of Arson?

A 19 metres tall and 12 metres wide statue of Jesus Christ no longer stands after Jesus' relative, Mother Nature, was alleged to have been called in to "strike it down". In Ohio, locals were at a loss why a lightening strike choose there treasured...
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Funny story: Paparazzi Should Follow This Prized Idiot Around

Paparazzi Should Follow This Prized Idiot Around

Saying he probably inhaled too many paint fumes while finishing his lawnmower in a small building, a Wisconsin man faces an arson charge after telling authorities he wasn't thinking when he decided to use gasoline for cleaning up his apartment, and t...
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Funny story: Daft Bastard Burns Own House Down

Daft Bastard Burns Own House Down

Consternation today following the total incineration of a house, reportedly occupied by a daft bastard. Smoke and flames engulfed the house at eleven am today and the building suffered total structural failure as fire-fighters arrived at the scene.
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Funny story: Royal College of Arms Smuggling fire 'may be arson'

Royal College of Arms Smuggling fire 'may be arson'

Shitty of London - (Ass Mess): Prince Charles is said to be hopping mad after a mystery fire that destroyed masses of carefully planted heraldic disinformation about the Puppet Monarchy's congenital addiction to arms smuggling was branded arson by po...
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Funny story: Sweden's Straw Goat Torched Yet Again

Sweden's Straw Goat Torched Yet Again

A giant straw goat erected each Christmas in the northern Swedish town of Bonkers has been burned down - yet again. The 50 foot high animal has been torched 23 times since it was first erected in 1966. It has also been ram-raided with a sleigh, b...
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Funny story: Fleetwood Pier inferno - hundreds of suspects arrested

Fleetwood Pier inferno - hundreds of suspects arrested

Following Tuesday morning's fire which destroyed Fleetwood's historic pier, causing hundreds of pounds worth of damage, Lancashire Police announced the arrest of over 350 suspected arsonists. At a press conference this afternoon, a representative...
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Funny story: Spoof writer Monkey Woods fired up by 'arse-on' charges

Spoof writer Monkey Woods fired up by 'arse-on' charges

Dudley, Yorks - (Ass Mess): Veteran Spoof! writer Monkey Woods is said to be incandescent today after Tipton fire chiefs blamed him for the blaze that destroyed a 500-acre petrol refinery following a windbreaking demonstration that went horribly arse...
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Funny story: High Gas prices force Arsonist into Retirement

High Gas prices force Arsonist into Retirement

The recent spikes in gas prices have hurt everyone from small businesses to nine-to-fivers in terms of transportation. While gas prices haven't hurt convicted arsonist Tim Harris' mobility, he has been affected in other ways. "Sadly, I just can...
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Obama to deploy 3,000 doctors to combat ISIL

The United States announced on Tuesday it will send 3,000 doctors to help combat the Islamic terrorist group, ISIL, as part of a ramped-up plan, including a major deployment in Syria.

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