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Funny story:  Lesbianism blamed for Ford jail arson

Lesbianism blamed for Ford jail arson

Sussex - (Wormwood Scrubbers): Ministry of Justice bosses today blamed Ford Open Prison's openly gay woman governor for the weekend's rioting that burnt down the jail. 'Mean looking' Sharon Williams apparently sparked the blaze that caused £3milli...
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Funny story:  Isle of Wight News - Arson suspected in chippy fire

Isle of Wight News - Arson suspected in chippy fire

Hopeless Street chip-shop in Ventnor is the centre of a police investigation after a fire broke out there at 10:30pm Monday morning. Regular Isle of Wight News readers, and even some of those with constipation, will recall our recent survey to fin...
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Funny story:  Isle of Wight News - Mysterious Arsonist Strikes Again

Isle of Wight News - Mysterious Arsonist Strikes Again

Police are hunting a pair of youths who are believed to be behind a series of arson attacks on dry stone walls around Shorwell. "There are a couple of young lads we'd like to speak to," said police constable Michelle Gonmad. "We have a fair idea who they are, on account of there not being very many youths in the Shorwell area." The border wall for Westcourt Farm, on the road to Limerstone ha...
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Funny story:  Jesus Guilty Of Arson?

Jesus Guilty Of Arson?

A 19 metres tall and 12 metres wide statue of Jesus Christ no longer stands after Jesus' relative, Mother Nature, was alleged to have been called in to "strike it down". In Ohio, locals were at a loss why a lightening strike choose there treasured...
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Funny story:  Paparazzi Should Follow This Prized Idiot Around

Paparazzi Should Follow This Prized Idiot Around

Saying he probably inhaled too many paint fumes while finishing his lawnmower in a small building, a Wisconsin man faces an arson charge after telling authorities he wasn't thinking when he decided to use gasoline for cleaning up his apartment, and t...
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Funny story:  Daft Bastard Burns Own House Down

Daft Bastard Burns Own House Down

Consternation today following the total incineration of a house, reportedly occupied by a daft bastard. Smoke and flames engulfed the house at eleven am today and the building suffered total structural failure as fire-fighters arrived at the scene.
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Funny story:  Royal College of Arms Smuggling fire 'may be arson'

Royal College of Arms Smuggling fire 'may be arson'

Shitty of London - (Ass Mess): Prince Charles is said to be hopping mad after a mystery fire that destroyed masses of carefully planted heraldic disinformation about the Puppet Monarchy's congenital addiction to arms smuggling was branded arson by po...
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Funny story:  Sweden's Straw Goat Torched Yet Again

Sweden's Straw Goat Torched Yet Again

A giant straw goat erected each Christmas in the northern Swedish town of Bonkers has been burned down - yet again. The 50 foot high animal has been torched 23 times since it was first erected in 1966. It has also been ram-raided with a sleigh, b...
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Funny story:  Fleetwood Pier inferno - hundreds of suspects arrested

Fleetwood Pier inferno - hundreds of suspects arrested

Following Tuesday morning's fire which destroyed Fleetwood's historic pier, causing hundreds of pounds worth of damage, Lancashire Police announced the arrest of over 350 suspected arsonists. At a press conference this afternoon, a representative...
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Funny story:  Spoof writer Monkey Woods fired up by 'arse-on' charges

Spoof writer Monkey Woods fired up by 'arse-on' charges

Dudley, Yorks - (Ass Mess): Veteran Spoof! writer Monkey Woods is said to be incandescent today after Tipton fire chiefs blamed him for the blaze that destroyed a 500-acre petrol refinery following a windbreaking demonstration that went horribly arse...
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Funny story:  High Gas prices force Arsonist into Retirement

High Gas prices force Arsonist into Retirement

The recent spikes in gas prices have hurt everyone from small businesses to nine-to-fivers in terms of transportation. While gas prices haven't hurt convicted arsonist Tim Harris' mobility, he has been affected in other ways. "Sadly, I just can...
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Funny story:  Universal Studios arson blamed on Tom  Cruise hex

Universal Studios arson blamed on Tom Cruise hex

California - (Smouldering Mess): A Tom Cruise hex has been blamed for the suspected arson attack on Universal Studios.
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Funny story:  New Department for Arson announced today

New Department for Arson announced today

As councils throughout the country struggle to pay councillors expenses, send them on junkets to far flung lands, and settle huge PFI finance debts to parasitic outsourcers, a lifeline has been thrown to them by the Government with the establishment...
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Funny story:  Fire at Olympia! Prometheus sought for questioning; Brangelina held as a material witness by Athenian authorities

Fire at Olympia! Prometheus sought for questioning; Brangelina held as a material witness by Athenian authorities

Athens, Greece - Prometheus, disappointed with what man has done with the gift of Fire he gave to them, reportedly decided to take it back. Unfortunately, as he was returning to Olympia, he ran into some old college-drinking buddies. Together they at...
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Funny story:  Mental Arson

Mental Arson

STRANGE BEDFELLOWS subtitled "Robespierre & Lenin Redux" or "Mental Arson"...
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Sherlock Actor Investigates Cast

Benedict Cumberbatch drilled the Star Trek cast and successfully deduced that his stolen peanut butter and jelly sandwich was taken by Zachary Quinto.

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