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Funny satire stories about Archeology

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Dinosaur penis exhibition opens

Funny story: Dinosaur penis exhibition opens

Ever since he was an archaeology student, Tom Lovecock has dreamed of dinosaur penises. Now he has an exciting new exhibition at the British Museum. He explained the idea behind it, "Who hasn't watched Jurassic Park and wondered why the dinosaurs don...

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Archaeologists unearth Jesus' wank flannel

Funny story: Archaeologists unearth Jesus' wank flannel

It has been hailed as the greatest religious artefact since the Turin shroud. Biblical archaelogists digging in Montana, USA, believe they have found the cloth that Jesus Christ used to mop up his masturbatory ejaculations. Some scholars have ques...

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Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid, But ...

Funny story: Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid, But ...

...Apparently they DO wear sneakers. This was confirmed recently when a 1500-year-old mummy was found in Mongolia wearing what looked like -- drumroll, please -- sneakers. Yikes! Guess you're never too old to wear sneakers! The find was a boon to sneaker manufacturers who seized upon the advertising possibilities. They immediately went to work on spirited slogans, such as: -- Treat...

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Ancient Wheel Displayed in Britain, Special Crooner at its Side!

Funny story: Ancient Wheel Displayed in Britain, Special Crooner at its Side!

The news that a 3,000-year-old wooden wheel had been found in Britain was, of course, exciting. But even more exciting was who was standing at its side when the wheel recently made its debut to the public. It was none other than the late, great cr...

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'New species' of ancient human found

Funny story: 'New species' of ancient human found

A new species of ancient human has been unearthed in the Afar region of Ethiopia, scientists report. Researchers discovered jaw bones and teeth, which date to between 3.3m and 3.5m years old.The teeth showed signs of violent clenching and grinding...

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Link between rocks and humans discovered

Year: 2 Billion A.D. Famed Paleo-Anthro-Ist, Dr. Luke Doctor, has discovered, what he believes is the link between humans and rocks. Dr. Doctor has long believed that rocks, mountains and the like, are alive, just as humans. Of course living for rocks is different than living for humans. "So," Dr. Doctor says, "is living for plants different from rocks and humans. Plants turn toward the s...

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Prezident Obummer weighs in on ISIS' destruction of Nimrod

Funny story: Prezident Obummer weighs in on ISIS' destruction of Nimrod

ISIS has built or purchased, "from parties unknown," a time machine and is traveling into Iraq's "ancient past," to destroy the Assyrian city of Nimrod, the United Nations recently whined. "We are heartbroken," archaeologists sniffed, "and outrage...

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Pit of Bones

Paul Prattle is a geneticist at the Old Bone Institute in Leipzig, Germany. We sat down and talked about a recent old bone find at the Pit Of Bones. "Mr. Prattle, " I said,"before we get into the recent find, tell me a little bit about the Pit Of Bones." "Sure, but please call me Paul. I'm not really crazy about my last name. Makes me sound like a guy who must just prattle on and on ab...

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First Ever Bookmaker Discovered

Funny story: First Ever Bookmaker Discovered

ROME ITALY Archaeologists in Rome have unearthed the remains of what appears to have been the world's first known bookmaker. They have concluded from examining his sarcophagus remains that the man apparently had leapt to his death very possibly from...

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2,500-year old Utah petroglyphs say 'JFK: Bush Dunnit'

Funny story: 2,500-year old Utah petroglyphs say 'JFK: Bush Dunnit'

Utah - Newly decrypted rock carvings videoed by drone over the Southern Utah desert have shaken everything archeologists once took for granted regarding ancient predictions about the 1963 Dallas hit. The petroglyphs as they are known are thought t...

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Archaeologists Find Betty White's Baby Toys

Funny story: Archaeologists Find Betty White's Baby Toys

NEW YORK CITY - Contrary to some recent rumors, 92-year-old Betty White was not born in a log cabin in Illinois. The elderly actress was born in Oak Park, Illinois in an accredited hospital. White was in the news recently when a team of archaeo...

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Archaeologist finds lost Mummy but forgets where he puts it.

Funny story: Archaeologist finds lost Mummy but forgets where he puts it.

King Tutankhamun's father, Akhenaten's mummy was sensationally found this morning in the Valley of the Kings, Egypt. Archaeologist Baldrick Robinson made the astonishing find, only to forget where he had put it moments later. The lost mummy, one of...

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Newly Discovered Greek Urn Reveals Surprising Origins of Olympic Luge Competition

Archaeologists from the National University of Nostralia have presented ground-breaking research on a newly discovered Grecian Urn, which they say is the earliest known depiction of the ancient Olympic sport of luge launching, known today as luge.

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Gigantic Chipmunk Fossil Skeleton Found in Wyoming

Funny story: Gigantic Chipmunk Fossil Skeleton Found in Wyoming

NEWCASTLE, WYOMING - Paleontologists from the University of Wyoming have announced the discovery of a gigantic form of western chipmunk, Neotamias, at a ranch north of Newcastle, Wyoming. The fossil skeleton, measuring 20 feet in length, was uncov...

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With No Dick

About 5 billion years ago, earth came into existence. Some billion years later, life emerged. Additional changes resulted in creation of the first organisms. Next, plants and animals, carnivorous and non-carnivorous, appeared. Then, a new species was born, called Homo sapiens. This odd animal inherited the original traits of the beasts of the world. According to Freud the id, or rather the anim...

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Evidence of stone age cross dressing found in a French cave

Funny story: Evidence of stone age cross dressing found in a French cave

Archaeologists have uncovered what they believe to be the earliest example of cross dressing in a cave in Southern France. It is a find that they have dated back to thirty-five thousand years BC, smashing the four thousand BC record previously held b...

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Scientific Evidence Than Man Co-existed With Dinosaurs

New definitive evidence has been found that man co-existed with dinosaurs. Footprints of a giant man have been found alongside dinosaur footprints. Evolutionists have been dismissive of these new claims and have tried to discredit the new evidence.

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Mary Todd Lincoln's DNA Found In New Mexico

Funny story: Mary Todd Lincoln's DNA Found In New Mexico

RUIDOSO, New Mexico - A group of archaeologists from Delaware stumbled upon an interesting find just outside of the town of Ruidoso, which is noted for its Gila Monster Grilled Burritos. Kiki Lily Chillydutch, 21, with the Delaware group stated th...

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Breaking news…

Trump Now Also President of Egypt

President Donald Trump now claims to be part Egyptian after a new mummy was uncovered. Noted the President, "Look! It's old, wrinkly, shriveled, and orange! Just like me!"
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