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Apple Refuses to Share Mind-Reading Software With FBI

Funny story: Apple Refuses to Share Mind-Reading Software With FBI

In a press release held Thursday morning, FBI investigator Tracey McCall expressed her frustration at Apple's refusal to cooperate with the San Bernardino shooting investigation: "We know that they install mind-reading software in all of their iPh...

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Apple Reveals New iBitch Robot

Funny story: Apple Reveals New iBitch Robot

Electronics giant Apple chose New York City as a venue to introduce its new dominatrix robot, the iBitch, to consumers last week. Spokesbitch Ivana C. U. Hirt explained to reporters and tech gurus that the idea for the iBitch was actually spawned...

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Apple Unveils iPhone 5-Z Targeted at the Niche Zombie Market

Funny story: Apple Unveils iPhone 5-Z Targeted at the Niche Zombie Market

In a private after-party hosted after the public event on September 10 in its Cupertino, California headquarters, mobile phone company Apple's CEO Tim Cook unveiled the latest in the iPhone 5 lineup, a mobile phone made specifically for Zombies. "App...

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Apple annouces the iPhart portable lunch

Funny story: Apple annouces the iPhart portable lunch

California - Fresh from the fertile minds of Apple engineers, according to Apple spokesman Dick Mac Intush, the new portable iPhart lunches will be dispensed everywhere from new Apple vending machines. The new product offering includes: An appl...

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New iPhone to adjust user volume

Funny story: New iPhone to adjust user volume

The latest iPhone has been announced with a number of features to adjust both ringtone and user volume according to the surroundings. A novel app now allows for an airbag to be deployed when the speaker reaches an innapropriate threshold when barking...

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Napple's New Self-Driving Car is Like Riding With Your Blind Grandmother

Funny story: Napple's New Self-Driving Car is Like Riding With Your Blind Grandmother

From the internet search engine giant, Giggle's recently released self-driving car has sent ripples throughout the automotive and computer industries. Though less than perfect, Napple decided that in order to compete, it had to release it's own versi...

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Shove it Samsung: Apple to release another new iPhone

Following the release of the iPhone 5, the eyes of the world have turned their gaze back towards Cupertino, California and asked, "Oi! Apple! What else you got?" The rumour mill is abuzz with reports of the technology giant's intention to release...

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Lost your city? There's an app for that

Funny story: Lost your city? There's an app for that

If only the Apple iPhone had been around three thousand years ago, the people of Atlantis could have taken advantage of the latest applelet from French App designers, Le App. Called Applantis, the app monitors the world's network of seismographs a...

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Israel Agreed to Exchange One Hummus Container for 100 Apple iPhones

TEL AVIV - In what has been deemed the highest exchange stakes between the hostile communities of Israelis and Palestinians, the Israelis would receive one Apple smartphone in exchange for one hundred hummus containers to the Palestinians. Essenti...

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