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Funny story:  Environmentalist's Compelling Message Overshadowed by His Unfortunate Fashion Choice

Environmentalist's Compelling Message Overshadowed by His Unfortunate Fashion Choice

During a panel discussion on climate change and environmental ethics at Columbia Law School, environmentalist Chuck Perry's compelling message of universal interconnectedness and the devastating effect of animal agriculture on the environment was unf...
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Funny story:  Disturbing Plastic Surgery for Pets Trend Sweeping Across United States

Disturbing Plastic Surgery for Pets Trend Sweeping Across United States

Pet owners wanting to turn their pets into lookalikes of their favourite celebrities, a craze that began in Los Angeles, could be headed across the USA. Plastic surgery for dogs and cats is big business in Tinsel Town where pet owners are paying i...
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Funny story:  Husband Like A Wild Animal in Bed!

Husband Like A Wild Animal in Bed!

Esther Montgomery Mellencamp says that her husband, Homer Cougar Mellencamp is a wild animal in bed at night. She told The Georgia Dudley Tribune, a small newspaper in a small town, that she didn't mind telling this to us by phone as all their nei...
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Funny story:  Kim Jong Un Says That Sarah Palin Needs To Stop Acting Like She's A Politician And Stay In Her Kitchen Cooking Salmon Balls

Kim Jong Un Says That Sarah Palin Needs To Stop Acting Like She's A Politician And Stay In Her Kitchen Cooking Salmon Balls

PYONGYANG, North Korea - Kim Jong Un the leader of North Korea cannot believe how Sarah Palin is allowed to go around making all kinds of outlandishly unbased comments that no one, except for the members of her Tea Bag Party, cares about. He noted...
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Funny story:  Homosexuality Approved In India: Animals Crack Up!

Homosexuality Approved In India: Animals Crack Up!

In the race between man and other species, the former has taken precedence in intelligence apparently. Yet, the rest of the animals show more civility, freedom, love and perhaps even intelligence in sexual behaviours. When elephants, lions, dogs,...
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Funny story:  PETA gives Willie Nelson its Highest Honor for Endangered Species Protection

PETA gives Willie Nelson its Highest Honor for Endangered Species Protection

People for the Ever Troubling of Animals (PETA) has bestowed its prestigious Critter Benevolence and Guardian Award on venerable songster Willie Nelson. PETA President and CEO (Chief Emphatic Officer) Richard Itchy-Skinne noted the life-long dedic...
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Funny story:  Factory-Farming Advocacy Group Struggles With Name Messaging: "Killing Over Compassion" Shot Down in Polls

Factory-Farming Advocacy Group Struggles With Name Messaging: "Killing Over Compassion" Shot Down in Polls

A newly launched non-profit organization established to advocate on behalf of animal farmers and confined animal feeding operations (CAFOs) encountered a bit of glitch in its inception: what to call itself that wouldn't immediately turn off consumers...
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Funny story:  Big Rat Reported in Texas Causing Panic!

Big Rat Reported in Texas Causing Panic!

Middleton, Texas: Officers in West Texas who answered calls about a huge rat chasing people around the neighborhood at night are out watching to see if it shows up again. "I don't care how big the rat is, this old shotgun will blow that sucker aw...
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Funny story:  Zoo Keeper Caught Spanking The Monkey

Zoo Keeper Caught Spanking The Monkey

OMAHA, NE - A zookeeper in Omaha, NE was recently placed on indefinite work suspension due to disciplinary measures he was caught taking with primate residents at a local zoo. "I felt that bobo, in particular, was being selfish, hoarding food, and...
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Funny story:  Ringling Bros. Vows to Handle Circus Goats with Kid Gloves; Subsequently Retracts Statement

Ringling Bros. Vows to Handle Circus Goats with Kid Gloves; Subsequently Retracts Statement

Kenneth Feld, CEO of Feld Entertainment, the group that owns Ringling Bros. Circus, recently announced that Ringling Bros. will, effective immediately, exploit for trivial human entertainment fewer wild animals and more and more domesticated animals,...
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Funny story:  Weird species discovered: A fish? Bird? Mammal? Reptile? Bug?

Weird species discovered: A fish? Bird? Mammal? Reptile? Bug?

CLEVELAND, Ohio - A strange new species has been discovered on the banks of Lake Erie. It's not clear whether this animal is a fish, mammal, marsupial, reptile, or even a bird. It may even be an insect. The creature ran up to an elderly man taking...
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Funny story:  A Kangaroo On Speed Easily Escapes From The Bronx Zoo

A Kangaroo On Speed Easily Escapes From The Bronx Zoo

BRONX, New York - The Bronx Zoo has informed the New York City Police Department that Barbie, one of their Australian kangaroos has jumped out of her escape-proof enclosure and vaulted the zoo grounds six-foot-tall fence. Ingrid Chainmill, 27, who...
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Funny story:  Woman Breastfeeds Wild Donkey Back To Health

Woman Breastfeeds Wild Donkey Back To Health

In Mississippi, where wild donkeys are often seen walking the landscape in search of rough scrub and brush foliage, a woman found a young malnourished foal in need of attention. "I saw the little guy limping in my back yard and cried for the poor...
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Funny story:  Idaho Passes The Nation's First Road Kill Bill

Idaho Passes The Nation's First Road Kill Bill

BOISE, Idaho - Idaho has become the first state in the union to pass a new road kill bill. According to state Senator Brogan F. Candlefish [D-Pocatello], the bill registered as Idaho Road Kill Bill 001 states that anyone who runs over any type of...
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Funny story:  Dog-Doo Quietly Picked Up Next To Dead Homeless Man

Dog-Doo Quietly Picked Up Next To Dead Homeless Man

Responsible pet owner Brentson Whitman, 32, quietly and carefully fulfilled the social contract to care for the waste deposited by his three year old Jack Russell Terrier "Oscar Wilde" by delicately and silently removing the small coil of doggy-doo...
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Funny story:  Looking After Your Pets

Looking After Your Pets

Animal rights groups have brought to BATTL news attention that due to financial constraints more and more people are dumping their pets. This is despicable treatment of a living creature that relys on us for love, support and sustenance. Aren't we as humans supposed to be inventive and adaptable? Weren't we the ones who put a man on the moon and invented Velcro? If we are this all conquering,...
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Funny story:  Gamekeepers get tigrish

Gamekeepers get tigrish

London, United Kingdom. In news rapidly evolving over eons, the gamekeepers of Her Majesty's parks and reserves have voted to go on strike for 48 hours effective midnight Thursday to agitate for a 2% increase in pay which would bring them in line wit...
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Funny story:  PETA Wants To Ban Animal Crackers

PETA Wants To Ban Animal Crackers

NORFOLK, Virginia - The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals have gone to Congress to state their case regarding the wanton ingesting of animal crackers throughout America. PETA's Executive Director Mimosa Ledbetter told the news media that...
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Breaking News...

True Facts From Snoops #1335

Snoops: The average number of toothpicks people swallow in their lifetime? Three. Mostly from laughing after dinner.

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